Tuesday, March 14, 2017

How to Make Commitments: One Day at a Time

I have not been posting on my blog for a long time. Working full-time while also parenting and freelance writing takes up most of my days. I also try to work on some larger writing projects too, although with no big chunks of time, this has proven difficult.

To get anything done, I have found that making small daily commitments works best for me.

On my Instagram account, @sheilamhageman, for example, I have committed to #OneYogaPoseADay, posing and posting one yoga pose a day. This is the biggest commitment that I can comfortably make to yoga right now, but at least it keeps me active in yoga and creativity in a tiny way.




I also have committed to sending out one pitch a day during the work week to make sure I am constantly pitching freelance essays. This has been doable and is keeping me writing everyday.

Another commitment I tried to make was editing at least one page of a large work-in-progress or writing at least one page of one my larger projects. I didn't succeed fully on this one yet. I have been giving in to sleep!

I won't be hard on myself though, I will try again, starting today. (Always start today, not tomorrow, with a new commitment!)

So, back to the drawing board...or writing board, or laptop, that is!

Why don't you give it a try?

Make one tiny commitment that will move a project forward. Make it very small to begin...

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

How to Understand Someone Who Is Depressed

I guess I understand why people don't want to know the truth and don't share the truth. Sometimes the real truth is too true; it's too raw; it's too real.

There's that fear that people who don't know what it's like to be depressed will freak out by what you say.

If I were to be truthful right now, I would say the thought that is going through my head on a loop is—I want to kill myself.

But I know you know you can't say that. You can't share a sentence like that in front of people who don't know depression.


You don't want the police showing up at your door in five minutes.

Just because the thought is there, haunting you, it doesn't mean you're actually going to kill yourself; it just means you're preoccupied by the thought.

But some people may question, Well, how do I know if she is serious or not?

For many people who deal with depression, it's when he or she says I am going to kill myself that one should worry, not I want to kill myself.

It is not semantics; there is a big difference. One is a haunting viral thread running through your brain and the other is an act you're about to commit.

I am not about to kill myself, but the loop is playing and it's hard to escape and it makes me sad if I can’t express it and let it out.

Sometimes I just yearn to be understood and to be loved just the way I am.  

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Stripper Mom Saves The World

Well, that's not actually true. A Stripper Mom did not save the world.

That's just a headline that would be nice to see. Unfortunately, when you see the words "Stripper Mom" in the title of an article, the words following it are usually not good.


Just this week, 2-Year Old Dies in Apartment Fire After She Was Left Home Alone By Stripper Mom to Party With Friends.

That headline says it all.

A quick Google search shows these gems from years past...

Stripper mom of missing girl hangs up on cops, says she ‘had to get on stage’

Stripper mom who left her children, two and six, starving in a bedroom while she worked as an escort is jailed for 20 years

Stripper mom 'solicited son, 17, and his friend to strangle to death' fiance after he proposed to her at topless bar and drained his 401k to buy her lavish gifts  

Stripper mom arrested at work, accused of child neglect

The only somewhat non-negative news items I can find are actress Minka Kelly talking about her Stripper Mom:

Minka Kelly: My Stripper Mom Was the Best

Minka Kelly on her 'gorgeous' stripper mom: 'She got along on that as long as she could'

So, moral of the story is that being a mom and a stripper at the same time is often kind of rough.

I would love to be proven wrong though.

Let me know if you find any positive Stripper Mom news items, please!





Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Donald Trump and "Sexism"

Thank you, Dean Obeidallah of CNN, for writing Donald Trump doesn't understand what 'sexism' is.

He gives a ton of examples where Trump displays his ignorance. And this is the man that a whole bunch of Americans would like to see run our country.
Trump about fellow GOP presidential candidate Carly Fiorina: "Carly -- look at that face. Would anybody vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?! I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not s'posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?" Conversely, saying a women isn't qualified for a job because she isn't pretty enough is again textbook sexism.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there are people out there who hear statements like this and think he would make good presidential material.

I keep waiting to get pinched, wake up and realize it's all a big joke.

Go on...somebody pinch me.

Wednesday, October 07, 2015

Looking to the Individual

A hospital in Italy that would not accept a stripper's blood donation illustrates how strongly the belief is embedded that strippers are prostitutes.

Martin Whitmore Image
Even after explaining her monogamous situation to the hospital, they refused her donation because they still believed she posed an STI risk.
“It is not clear in this case what risk the woman posed. She was in a formal and stable relationship," Agitalia was reported as saying in Corriere della Sera. "Even if her job could be seen as 'immoral' or 'unorthodox', it cannot be seen as an STI risk.” 
We are so quick to judge people based on the cultural beliefs about groups of people.

In no situation is it correct to stereotype people, whether it be because of race, gender, sexual preference, or occupation.

We need to base our opinions of people on the individual. On the person standing in front of us.

No one person is an ethnicity, color, job, or anything.

We are all individuals.

Let's start treating each other with the assumption of uniqueness and goodness.

Friday, October 02, 2015

Grace Jones In Your Face

Recently, Grace Jones got a bit peeved that the father of her child, photographer Jean-Paul Goude, recreated her infamous champagne glass on booty photo with Kim Kardashian.


Well, to show the world that she's still the original, the almost 70 year-old flashed what her Mama gave her at a book event for her new autobiography, I'll Never Write My Memoirs.

Jones has been vocal about being the original rabble-rouser and that most current pop female artists are mere copycats of her outrageousness.


I suppose the magazine cover of Kardashian really does illustrate how she is being copied, but when the art in question is as apparent a copy as this, does it not then become a sort of tribute to the original?

Perhaps Jones could see her imitators as carrying the torch that she first carried?

And come to think of it, was Jones actually the original bearer of the exhibitionist flame? Perhaps she, too, had inspiration of those who shed before her?

 Isn't much art or creative expression a reflection or an amping up of what came before?