Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Can a Porn Star Be a Good Mom?

20/20’s theme Friday was “True Confessions,” which wouldn’t be complete without an adult entertainer of some sort.

ABC News introduces us to Natalie Oliveros, mom to 10-year-old Luchino, who is a porn star know as Savanna Samson.

"My life means nothing without, without him," Oliveros said. "Everything that I've done in my life, all the choices I've made, will one day benefit him instead of being a shameful thing for him."

We also have “Octomom” Nadya Suleman in the news this week saying that she might consider doing porn in order to provide for her children: Octomom Nadya Suleman Reevaluates Porn.

So the question everyone’s discussing: Can an adult entertainer be a good mother?

Well, let’s take a look at what really matters—is the mother providing for her family, raising her children to be good people, and being true to herself?

If a mother can say yes to all these questions, then I don’t see what the problem is. Being an adult entertainer is a legal job. Yes, it’s a job that requires a level of openness with one’s sexuality that not all people have, but if the woman is not harming others, why should it matter?

"I'm just an entertainer, and this is how I choose to entertain," Oliveros said. "And, morally speaking, that's what's confusing about me, is that I do have morals. And yet, it's contradictory, I guess, by the industry I'm in."

We all have different morals and those morals even change over time. But that’s just it—they are our morals, no one else’s to decide for us.

As adults, we all have “secrets” we don’t come right out and share with our children when they are too young to understand. And if we’re parents, we’ve all pretty much probably had sex at some point in our lives. Sex and children kind of go hand-in-hand.

So to jump to the conclusion that just because someone has sex for money on film that they can’t be a good parent just doesn’t add up. To attach our own “values” surrounding sexuality and what it should look like is unfair.

We all make choices and yes, there may be repercussions for adult entertainers in the form of more explaining that needs to be done for our children. But in the long run, sexuality is a complicated issue no matter whether we are or have been strippers or porn stars or are just moms who have more traditional careers.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Gypsy Rose Lee: A Burlesque Performer and a Mom

What a wonderful reminder by Amanda Crum that a woman can have it all.

In “Gypsy Rose Lee: Portrait Of A Burlesque Mom: Icon proved women can do it all” in WebProNews, Crum highlights Gypsy Rose Lee in a new and enlightening way.

Besides being a burlesque entertainer, Lee was a mother, even traveling with her son while she performed across the country.

“Burlesque performers are often still criticized and misconstrued for what they do, sadly, especially if they have children. Lee, who died of lung cancer in 1970, is a strong reminder to everyone that women can be free with their sexuality and still be witty, intelligent, wonderful mothers.”

What a needed reminder for us all today as former porn stars are being fired from teaching jobs because of their pasts.

Perhaps some critics may say that there is an overall difference between burlesque performers of yore and modern day porn stars and strippers, but I disagree.

As with anything, there is something to be said for not judging a book by its cover. To simply group all people of one occupation into one category is extremely short-sighted.

And for those who would say there is a wrong message being sent by a mother who has in the past (or even present) performed in some sexually-free way, I would simply question why adults cannot have separate lives outside their children.

If a parent is living their life with integrity and teaching by example what it is to be a good and loving person then why should it matter what they do or did for a living?

We are sexual beings; remember, that’s how we came to have children in the first place.