Lots of stuff stirring in my mind. Maybe I question myself too much about my motives.
When I was talking to my husband about making silly Vine videos, I said that I want to make people laugh.
He said, innocently, “No, you want attention.”
I was all like—what? No! I mean, yes, I like it if people like my videos, just like I like it if people like my writing, but it’s not just for attention.
“If it was just for attention, I could just take out my tits!”
Yes, I said that. I know—hilarious.
The only attention I’d get for going topless now would be a police officer giving me a ticket for indecent exposure.
Bah, dum, dum…crash!
His comment got me a bit riled up. I mean, as a performer or writer, yes, of course, we want people to pay attention. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
But why do I judge myself then? Or why do I allow other people who don’t like, or get, what I do to bother me?
And what is my overall mission with art?
There I go again! Wanting to know my every motivation.
Can it just be enough to know that I want to perform and write?