I took a long break from posting my dancing videos. I needed to take a break because I didn’t know why I was doing it anymore.
My original impetus was: A former stripper, now a mom of three, I've decided to really strip down and dance and express myself, but with my clothes on. After struggling with depression my whole life and having been on antidepressants for about 15 years, I've decided to try life medication free. I realize I need something else to sustain me though. I need meaning. I need to push myself into joy every day.
And I think the dancing and putting it out there into the public as a way of sharing my journey helped, and after I stopped, the depression, of course, did creep back in.
And I’ve gone back on and off medication when the depression became so bad that I knew I needed that kind of help. I recognized it. So now, I find myself back in that place. Back on antidepressants as a way to stay functioning.
Yoga helps me, too.
But I’ve been having an urge to get off the mat and shake it. And I just want to follow my heart again. And see if it might help, even a little.