Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Number Two

Three days in a row of Genny waking up at 5:30 am has caught up to me. A dizzying exhaustion is rampaging through my head, stomach and soul. I need a break before I crack in half. Nick and I really need a vacation.

To make matters worse, Genny’s Baby Doll was doll-napped from the playground. She had been propped up against a rail of the old jungle gym, but when it was time to go, Baby Doll was no more. There had been lots of toddlers darting in and out during my visit and I guess I just lost track of Doll.

We left the playground empty-handed. Back at home, Genny pulled all the sheets, the blanket and even the mattress from Baby Doll’s cradle and then sipped at the little toy bottle. After two hours of on and off screaming and crying I gave up on her taking an afternoon nap, which I had been looking very forward to.

We strolled to Kaybee Toys instead where we dawdled in the doll aisle. I’m happy to say that we found a Baby Doll replacement—I give you, Baby Doll Two. I found myself repeatedly saying to Genny, “We’re not trying to replace Baby Doll, we’re just…replacing her.”

This didn’t make much sense then, or now. I think though that the switch will be accepted even though Baby Doll Two is slightly different than the original. The new doll is not all hard plastic; she has a soft and squeezy torso, but the same bristle blink eyelashes that Genny loves to touch.

Genny is sleeping now and that’s probably what I should be doing. I’m fighting off a clinking depressed feeling in my chest. The wedding euphoria was too short-lived. I wish we could celebrate a few days without us having to rush back to work, but that is not the way the world works. We must work hard for our money.

Argh, I’m feeling squishy and sentimental and sad and happy all at once. I think Gen just really burned me out with all the screaming today.

I’m thinking of putting a harness on Baby Doll Two tomorrow.


  1. What a crime!

    Of course Baby-Doll Two will be accepted in time — that's what we do as humans, we accept the twists and turns sooner or later — but first there is mourning.

    And it's true, wedding euphoria ends too soon. Maybe, if we manage to whisk you away for a weekend this summer, we can pretend like that's a little mini-honeymoon...?

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