Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Everyone’s Doing It

It’s the latest hot trend for the mom on the go: stripper pole dancing.

Britney Spears swears by it for exercise, but it seems a little freaky to want one installed in a schmaltzy hotel suite while on tour with her young sons.

"Britney loves pole dancing, it is her new favorite work out," says a source. "She gets the toning that she needs without having to hit the gym, and she wants to be able to do it in the privacy of her own hotel room."

When I first started as a stripper way back in 1989, there were no stripper poles at any of the dozen clubs I worked at in Connecticut. Imagine my surprise when I first encountered one in New York City.

“What am I supposed to do with that?” I wondered as I took to the stage.

I watched as other strippers athletically flung their bodies against the pole, rolling, flipping, and making awful thigh-smacking sounds. It was decidedly unsexy to watch. Not to mention the nasty bruises on their inner thighs.

I never became one of those gymnastic stripper pole dancers. I would just gently grasp the pole (that sounds kind of pornographic) and swing my body around it.

Another wonderful use of the pole was as a leaning device when the men weren’t tipping.

And there was a club across the street from David Letterman’s theatre that had a regular old swing. This, I liked. Once again it had nothing to do with the sexy-factor, which was again, non-existent.

When the club was slow or the customers were jerks, I would sit on the swing, close my eyes, and pump my legs (again, pornographic-sounding). My platforms’ toes would pop against the ceiling; a cool smoky breeze would rush through my hair-sprayed curls. I would forget where I was for a few brief, lovely moments.

So, before you run out and install a metal pole in your house, consider putting in the lesser-known (and less athletic) supposedly sexy strip club paraphernalia, the swing.

Better yet, just go outside and use your child’s jungle gym.

Now there’s a sexy workout for you.

No comments:

Post a Comment