Today I just need to get my energy moving. I need to be proactive and ignore the voices in my head. I need to do what I know to be good for myself, whether I want to or not.
I cannot focus in on what I feel or don’t feel. I cannot let the deadened me win.
I need to act as if: as if I know who I am, as if I matter, as if life holds meaning, as if I am capable of loving and being loved.
I need to keep returning to this thought today: This is not a permanent state of being.
Just because I cannot access the joy right now does not mean I will never be able to feel it.
I will not deny what is going on for me right now, but I will not give in to it either.
I am capable of joy. If I close my eyes and focus on my heart, I can feel it. The love is still there. I am still there.
I will remind myself to close my eyes at every given possible moment today and tell myself I am.