Anniversary

Today is our 4th wedding anniversary. We’re going to order food in and watch Red Dwarf.

Genny is staying at her grandparents’ house for the night.

I’m happy to say that I got some housework AND some creative work done today.

It is the day-in and day-out of writing that I love and also hate. I get in the zone and love the work, but I also wonder when my agent will find a publisher for my finished book.

I know at the moment all I can do is push forward with my new projects, but oh, how I’d like to put the finished manuscript behind me.

Prune City

A rainy, chilly day. At least we don’t have to water the garden.

Nick managed to leave work early, so we’re picking him u at the train at 7pm. We’ll go have some dinner for my birthday.

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. May is a busy month for us.

Speaking of busy, Cole’s bowels were active today. I think he had five prune poops. It looked the same coming out as it did going in.

He’s napping now.

Genny is making a tower with her princess fairy books.

Nana needs her smoke detector battery changed.

These are the facts of my fast-paced life.

Birthday Eve

Time for reflection on my birthday eve.

The birthday numbers are meaningless, I know.

I seem to keep track of my children’s ages more than my own now. I know my place in time through where they are situated. I wonder if that will always last. Or if one day I will again know myself through only me.

Probably never again will I be only me. And that is a wonderful thing, now that I think about it. Yes, I long for the time when I will have some alone time again, but it is beautiful to be a part of a family. There will always be someone there to love me. I have created my life into a world where I am surrounded by good and caring people.

My reflections tonight are good, peaceful, satisfying. I am happy where I am today. I have no regrets or fears as I move into my birthday this year.

Life is overly full, abundant.

I’m OK

Do my ears deceive me or are Genny and Cole seriously both in bed?

True, Genny’s not asleep, but she’s staying in her room at the moment. True, this is probably just a nap for Cole (and he’s in the swing), but he’s asleep.

Can it be that I have a few moments to myself before I collapse in utter exhaustion into the bed?

Well, actually, I have to make the bed before I can do that, and to make the bed I need to open the noisy sheet closet next to Cole’s room. Oh brother.

I’m proud to say that it feels like my depression is lifting today. Could it be that I’m actually not dreading this year’s birthday? Have I finally reached a place in my life where I can stop worrying about age and beauty and all that jazz in favor of just enjoying life?

I wouldn’t go crazy yet, but I think I might just get through this life happy.

I might be able to enjoy some of this motherhood thing.

Note to self: Remember to reread this post when I’m next stressed out.

Happy Memorial Day

I’m recovering from a migraine yesterday. There’s nothing like an illness to remind you of how important your health is. But then as soon as we are better, we forget.

I have not forgotten how valuable every day is yet, but I’m sure I’ll be wrapped up and worried about the mundane tomorrow.

I’m once again trying to get a few minutes of quiet to blog, but Genny keeps coming into the office and shouting into her Barbie walkie-talkie, “Daddy, where are you?!” while Cole blubbers on my lap.