My Five-Minute Breaks from Feminism

When I saw this headline from The Onion, Woman Takes Short Half-Hour Break From Being Feminist To Enjoy TV Show, I laughed and cringed at the same time.

PORTLAND, OR—Saying that she just wanted a little time to relax and “not even think about” confining gender stereotypes, local health care industry consultant Natalie Jenkins reportedly took a 30-minute break from being a feminist last night to kick back and enjoy a television program. 

Jenkins, 29, told reporters that after a long and tiring day at her office, all she wanted to do was return home, sit down on her couch, turn on an episode of the TLC reality show Say Yes To The Dress, and treat herself to a brief half hour in which she could look past all the various and near constant ways popular culture undermines the progress of women.

I immediately got a guilty/funny flash in my tummy.

From The Onion

Umm, hee, hee…I’m a feminist, but umm…I kind of like to, well…

I get a divine rush of—oh my God, how could she?!—when I read about what Kim Kardashian wore or did.

My fingers tremble to reach out and pick up that copy of People at the grocery store checkout to find out if Jennifer Aniston is finally pregnant.

I secretly dream I have huge breasts and wear push-up bras and low-cut sweaters.

I like how my legs look when I wear heels.

I wish my wrinkles would magically disappear overnight.

I swoon when my husband opens the car door for me.

I enjoy Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball song and video.

And yes, even though the lyrics can be seen as kind of “rapey” and women are being objectified, I don’t turn the channel when Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines is on the radio (unless my kids are in the car).

Phew. I feel better after my little confession.

Now back to the originally scheduled Sheila.

What are your dirty, not-fighting-the-fight secrets that you do not want anyone to know?

Come on…I dare you…

Jennifer Aniston's Beauty Regimen

I’m not sure I’m totally buying into Jennifer Aniston actually spending this much money on her beauty regimen.

According to Nicole Fabian-Weber on Cafe Mom, Jennifer Aniston’s monthly beauty bill is roughly $8,000.

Here’s the alleged beauty breakdown:

•Euoko neck cream made with crystals from the planet Mars, $450

•Tracie Martyn Spa Red Carpet Facials, $50.

•Tracie Martyn goodie bag of products, $390

•Mila Moursi Rejuvinating Serum, $350

•Neutrogena Facial Cleansing Bar, $2.50

•Dr. Hauschka Rose Day Cream, $40

•Private yoga sessions with Mandy Ingber, $$3,500

•Dietitian Carrie Watt's delivery service, $2,700

Well, this list of expenses does include some food, too, so I’m not sure that’s really fair to include in a list of beauty expenses since, you know, a girl’s got to eat.

I would also think that a lot of these products are probably gifted to her, so she may well use all these things, but is she really spending the money for them?

I suppose the issue that I could see really being serious is—how are other women supposed to compete with that?

The truth is—we aren’t. Just because superstars spend that much attention to their looks doesn’t mean we have to.

It’s easier for us grown women who have realized as well as we can that looks are not what matter to say, who cares? But what about younger, impressionable women who may look to these exemplars of beauty and think they need to look that way, too?

I was going to say, why can’t more stars just be more au naturel in the world? But then they get their photos taken at their worst moments and plastered across a magazine cover.

Who or what will break the cycle?