A great essay in New York Magazine
by Lily Burana, Where’s the Female-Stripper Movie of My Dreams? She brings up a lot of the same points
that I see when comparing the female and male stripper movie genre.
The biggest issue I think is the
failure to see women who work in or have worked in any kind of adult business
as real, authentic human beings.
We all have a story that deserves to
be heard. Every story is unique. Yes, clichés and stereotypes exist in the
adult entertainment business just as much as they do with every profession, but
always underneath, there is a person with a story.
I feel grateful to have told my
story and to still be telling it and learning from it.
I will be releasing a new edition
of Stripping Down: A Memoir soon. (Unfortunately, my decision to publish with a
small press backfired and I have not been receiving my royalties.) Until then,
if you are interested in purchasing a copy, please contact me directly for a
signed copy, rather than purchasing through Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
How quick we are to judge other women and their stories.
An essay by Sarah Scott on Elle Décor, "I Made a Huge Sacrifice to Buy My Dream Home," has caused a stir with many commentators
tearing apart the writer for what they see as her selfishness and privilege.
Scott’s personal essay details how she and her husband are
able to afford their dream home by sacrificing having a third child. The writer
concludes that the sacrifice of not having the third child hurts, but that it
is a decision she and her husband made consciously.
With that said, the sacrifice has been made. Because we
live in this dream home, we can only afford to have two children. It's our
quiet sacrifice but it's also our beautiful life, well-earned and fully-lived.
The comments overall take issue with what is described as
her self-pitying tone and her “poor little me” story.
“Not sure there is a point, it's a 'poor little me' story
that smacks of utter selfishness. Spare a thought for the women who can't have
children instead of bleating on about your uterus aching for a third child.
Difficult choice huh....your dream house versus a third child. Unbelievable!!!”
It is understandable that when we
see someone complaining about something that we don’t have the luxury to even
consider, that we will feel upset. When I see photos from some of those “Rich Kids of Instagram” photos I admit I get riled up by the utter obliviousness and
decadence, but these photos seem to be all about rubbing in what the
photographers have on purpose.
Cat taking a pic of all the people that can’t sit with us #Balmainarmy @catmcneil @Iblamejordan @harry_brant by petermbrant
Scott’s essay though seems to be a
genuine story that she is sharing about her life and her choices. It does not
feel like she is looking for pity, but rather that she is explaining her
experience of what is sacrifice for her and what that looks like in her life.
There will always be someone who
has more than us, but when we try to rip down a woman for expressing her
experience, we are really only displaying our own jealousies, pent-up anger and
our own self-pitying ways.
Shouldn’t every voice be heard? Shouldn’t every
woman’s story matter and be respected?
