Stripper Mom Saves The World

Well, that's not actually true. A Stripper Mom did not save the world.

That's just a headline that would be nice to see. Unfortunately, when you see the words "Stripper Mom" in the title of an article, the words following it are usually not good.

Just this week, 2-Year Old Dies in Apartment Fire After She Was Left Home Alone By Stripper Mom to Party With Friends.

That headline says it all.

A quick Google search shows these gems from years past...

Stripper mom of missing girl hangs up on cops, says she ‘had to get on stage’

Stripper mom who left her children, two and six, starving in a bedroom while she worked as an escort is jailed for 20 years

Stripper mom 'solicited son, 17, and his friend to strangle to death' fiance after he proposed to her at topless bar and drained his 401k to buy her lavish gifts  

Stripper mom arrested at work, accused of child neglect

The only somewhat non-negative news items I can find are actress Minka Kelly talking about her Stripper Mom:

Minka Kelly: My Stripper Mom Was the Best

Minka Kelly on her 'gorgeous' stripper mom: 'She got along on that as long as she could'

So, moral of the story is that being a mom and a stripper at the same time is often kind of rough.

I would love to be proven wrong though.

Let me know if you find any positive Stripper Mom news items, please!

An Open Letter to Danica Dillon, the stripper and porn star who had sex with Josh Duggar:

I will admit I had mixed feelings when I saw your story splashed all over the news. Everywhere I turned, there was some variation of the headline: Josh Duggar Cheated With Me!”: Woman Tells All About Their Two Sexual Encounters.

At once, I understood and felt compassion toward you, but I also felt revulsion and anger.

But I know you are only reflecting back to me something I recognize in myself.

I was once a sex worker.

Once upon a time…I was stripper and a nude model. I made my money off of men and their desires.

And I was in utter denial for a lot of my time in the business.

I did dangerous things.

And while many assume that I had an amazing amount of courage to stand onstage naked and an extremely high level of self-esteem and confidence, it was quite the opposite.

When I read that you had sex for money with Josh Duggar and were now sharing the details, I did not blame you for sharing your experience, for wanting to cash in on your story. I applaud you for coming forward. I applaud you for telling your story.

I don’t even care if it was all done purely for profit and not to raise the consciousness of the problems women in the industry face, or if you are only hoping for your fifteen minutes of fame.

None of that matters after I read the small details that broke my heart and that I hope can save some other women from walking down your path—my path.

You said, “He was manhandling me, basically tossing me around like I was a rag doll. It was very traumatic. I’ve had rough sex before, but this was terrifying.”

It was that word that I fixated on.

Terrifying.

And then after this terrifying experience, he shorted you $500 of the agreed upon price of $1,500.

And then you met him again. And you have sex with him again. With a man whom with you had had an experience that was terrifying. With a man that could not be trusted.

If the story is true (you did pass a polygraph test), I feel so bad for you.

Again, this is because I recognize myself and the times I did things I felt I had no choice in, the times I put myself in danger because I thought this was the only way I could make money, the times I felt terrified, but did the things anyway.

And I was not even as hardcore as you; I was not a porn star or a prostitute. I was simply a stripper and nude model.

When I think of you walking back into a room with a man who terrified you, who didn’t even pay you what he said he would, I am reminded of my own vulnerability, my own stupidity, my own depression, my own lack of value.

I feel so sad for you, me and all women who have walked into terrifying experiences because we did not know our own value, because we thought we could not ask or expect more, because it felt like our only choice, because we loathed ourselves that much, because we were that scared that we were inconsequential in every other way, because we thought we were only valued for our bodies and our sexiness, because we did not know or feel our inherent value as human beings.

I was there, in similar ways, and while maybe no one else is expressing it, while everyone else is focusing on you being the bad one and while you will say you are empowered by what you do, I just want to say, you are valuable.

You are valuable and valued. I sit here in my office, miles away from you now in so many ways, but I know this and I want you and every young woman thinking fame and fortune and value is to be found in our sexiness to hear it—I see you. I really see you. And I am here for you if you ever need someone to talk to.

There are other choices that you can make.

You do not have to, nor should you (or any woman), ever have to be terrified again.

Strippers' Rights

In her New York Times Op-Ed, Stop Stealing From Strippers, Antonia Crane explains well the injustices done to strippers and defends strippers' rights.

Lauren Kolesinskas via NYTimes.com

She’s one of the only other stripper/writers I’ve seen address the pay-discrepancy between what people think strippers make and what they actually do. Her main point for this essay is to point out how unfair it is for strippers to have to give away so much of their income.

Strip clubs have provided me and many other dancers with steady income for our entire adult lives. I’m thankful to have enjoyed decades as a paid entertainer. But we deserve the same protections and respect given to any employee in any other work force. We are night laborers who have found a way to offer fantasy, entertainment, intrigue and human contact in an impersonal culture. We want to see a safe and sexy dance floor in every strip club in America. And we deserve to keep our tips.

I’ve fallen prey to all of the pay-outs that Crane describes: the percentage of our earnings that have to be given to the club, to the manager on duty, to the DJ and even to the “house mom.”

That these payouts are accepted practice in clubs all across America is truly unfair and exploitive. While many may disagree with the stripping profession, exotic dancers still deserve to have workplace protections just like any other profession.

When Stripping Feels Like Your Only Option

“Kim” wrote an opinion piece for The Guardian, I work at the US Senate. I shouldn't have to dance at strip clubs to feed my son.

This is a powerful story that highlights how and why some women who wouldn’t normally strip find themselves in situations where stripping becomes the best option they see available.

Kim details her very rough childhood and her amazing struggle to stand on her own two feet as a young woman. Being a single mother, she cannot afford to pay her bills every month unless she strips.

I’m a single mother and I struggle to support my son on the $10.33 an hour I make at one of the most exclusive clubs in America – the US Senate. I’m a cashier employed by the British-owned contractor that runs the cafeterias in the Senate office buildings. But even though I serve some of the wealthiest and most powerful people in the world, I can’t afford to buy my son school supplies or clothes…

When I realized that I couldn’t survive on what I was making at the Senate, I made a difficult decision. Faced with eviction notices and unpaid bills, I decided to dance at a strip club a few nights a week to earn extra money. It was the only job I could find that let me work a flexible schedule and earn a living wage.

I was not in such a desperate situation when I began stripping at 18, but in my naïve mind at the time, I felt a sense of there being no other avenues for me to turn to.

Obviously, that wasn’t true for me, but I believed it and so it became my reality for awhile..

Kim sounds as though stripping really is one of her only viable options to make the money she needs, working the hours she needs.

I don’t want to be a stripper: it can be demeaning to dance for men who show no respect for women. I only do it out of necessity, because I have to support my son…when [the senators] sit down with the primary voters and listen to their problems, I hope they’ll be thinking about my story too – and the tough decisions the workers who serve them every day have to make for the people they love.

I wish I had an answer for Kim and other women like her who feel stripping is their only saving grace.

Right now, all I have to offer are words of encouragement and support that it does get better and will get better.

You are doing what you need to for yourself and your family. Hold your head high and know that you are valuable and valued.

Thank you for sharing your story, Kim.

If You Are a Stripper, Then You Must Also Be...

I remember being so frustrated as a young woman who stripped and posed nude because of what people assumed about me.

Since I was a stripper, I must also be a whore. I must also be a slut. I must also want to be talked to like an object.

This was probably the most infuriating aspect of my adult entertainment experience. I didn’t know how to put into words what I felt.

The actress and feminist Caitlin Stasey says it so well in Jezebel’s When a Magazine Only Wants You If You're Willing to Pose Nude.

But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Nudity in the abstract is not the issue, and my body is not the issue either. What is the issue is the way that many men like Ben Naparstek-your-head-in-the-oven believe they have an inherent right to both because of my recent projects and my candor. It’s the same logic we apply to a woman’s sexuality. Just because she’s fucked one guy she must be available to all of them, right? Just because she’s wearing a short skirt, just because her shirt is sheer, just because she is a woman, she must be available to me.

Men were surprised when I didn’t want to be paid to have sex.

Men were pissed when I didn’t show them everything they wanted.

Men were enraged when I told them the truth.

Why was I making trouble? Why was I fucking with their view of women? Why was I insisting on being a person with my own ideas and feelings?

The sad thing was that often I listened to what they said. It’s not that I didn’t know I could say differently and stand up for myself, but that I was not properly equipped to do it.

I was young. I was scared.  I was vulnerable.

Today I am still trying to impress completely upon myself that I have agency and that I make the decisions about my body and it doesn’t matter what others think.

I have a right to be who I am just as I am. Clothed or naked.

I do not need to explain my choices to anyone if I don’t want to.

It’s been a long journey to get to where I am today and I am grateful for who I have become even as I acknowledge I still have a long way to go to truly understand and forgive myself.

Warning: Degrading Job Ahead

Which is a more degrading occupation? A stripper or an office worker?

Apparently, they both suck. In A former female tech worker turned exotic dancer says both are‘degrading in their own ways,’ we are told both jobs leave "Tiffany" unhappy.

I couldn’t agree more. I remember when I made the transition from stripper to administrative assistant that I had moments where I would wonder which was worse—dancing naked for dollars or fetching coffee and faxing for dollars.

“Degrading” could be seen by another individual as an entirely different occupation.

A lot of it has to do with the eye of the beholder, or in this case, the eye of the worker. Different things make people feel shame or humiliation.

Of course, there are certain tasks or how someone is spoken to that can inherently up the degrading factor, (like being called names, having drinks poured on you, or being asked to, ahem, for $20), but we all have different tolerance levels.

Have you ever had a job that you felt was degrading that didn’t involve shedding clothes?

Don't Buy My Book!

A great essay in New York Magazine by Lily Burana, Where’s the Female-Stripper Movie of My Dreams? She brings up a lot of the same points that I see when comparing the female and male stripper movie genre.

The biggest issue I think is the failure to see women who work in or have worked in any kind of adult business as real, authentic human beings.

We all have a story that deserves to be heard. Every story is unique. Yes, clichés and stereotypes exist in the adult entertainment business just as much as they do with every profession, but always underneath, there is a person with a story.

I feel grateful to have told my story and to still be telling it and learning from it.

  

I will be releasing a new edition of Stripping Down: A Memoir soon. (Unfortunately, my decision to publish with a small press backfired and I have not been receiving my royalties.) Until then, if you are interested in purchasing a copy, please contact me directly for a signed copy, rather than purchasing through Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Self-Esteem in Male and Female Strippers

Daily Mail reports in The science of Magic Mike: Researchers reveal why male strippers take their clothes off(and say its NOT for the money) that male strippers perform for their enhanced self-esteem.

Maren Scull at the University of Colorado Denver did a few years study where she concluded what I already know from experience—men and women experience objectification in different ways.

Women often have experienced objectification much more than men, and oftentimes in a more negative and even threatening or violent way, but when men are objectified, they perceive it in a much more positive way.

Men can actually enjoy the experience because it’s not in their everyday experience to be negatively objectified everywhere they look, so they are able to gain positive boosts to their self-esteem.

“'Initially women who dance for men may experience a boost in self-esteem, but after time they suffer from a diminished self-concept…Because stripping is a stigmatising occupation, it has the capacity to negatively affect exotic dancers' self-definitions,' Scull said.”

I would agree that I definitely had more positive self-esteem when I began as a stripper and the direct objectification was still new and somewhat thrilling. The longer I stayed in the profession though, the worse I felt about myself.

All the negatives added up and worked to demoralize me and dehumanize me.

Thank goodness, for the joy I was still able to feel at certain moments when my audience was civil, adoring, and throwing money. I became the dance; I became my sensuality and I burned. Unfortunately, a fire always burns itself out.

Magic Mike XXL Male Strippers Celebrated

Magic Mike XXL hit theaters and now there’s a plethora of male stripper parodies and remakes hitting the Internet.

  

One Chicago talk show, You &Me This Morning, had their male co-hosts trained by a male stripper and they put together a remake of the Magic Mike XXL trailer.

Conan crashed a Ladies’ Night Out viewing of Magic Mike XXL and hilarity ensued.

What I find most interesting is how lightly a movie about male strippers is received. Men with “dad bodies” are quick to make parodies and everyone is able to laugh about it.

Imagine if there was a stripper movie along the lines of Magic Mike that was all about female strippers.

Would we be seeing parodies made by “average” women? Would we all be able to laugh about it?

Would we see large groups of men renting limos to go hang out together at the theatre?

The two just don’t really compare.

There is no equivalent to male stripper shows in the female stripper world. Yes, there is burlesque, but even that is treated differently.

Is it all about the power mechanics at work?

Male strippers are more often celebrated and applauded. We are not seeing a lot of talk about how male strippers are whores or anything of the kind.

It is more just about a choice they make and they are seen as powerful.

Unless a female stripper is doing burlesque or just playing the role of “stripper” in a movie, she is often looked down upon. She is seen as used and most likely a prostitute.

When and how will this ever change?

I’m a Stripper, Not a Pole Fitness Instructor

OK, all you pole fitness instructors out there, we get it. You’re not strippers.

“Not that I have anything against exotic dancers, but what they do is completely different to pole fitness and what the sport has developed into,” says Eleanor Mills in I'm a pole fitness instructor, not a stripper.

I suppose the media may be partially to blame, they see a way to tie Strippers to an article and they think it’ll get more views.

Why else do all the articles about pole dancing studios have titles like: ‘I’m not a stripper’: Maine pole dancing class aimed at fitness.

And you have to have your “I’m not a stripper” quote nestled in there.

“The energy here, the vibe, is integrity, art, dance, fitness passion — there’s no type of stripper vibe,” said 207 Pole Fitness student Buffie McLaskey. “As you can see, I’m not a stripper. I’m just a regular person.”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I feel like I’m stuck inside the Seinfeld episode “The Outing” every time I read an article about pole fitness.

Of course, in the episode, the saying, "… not that there's anything wrong with that,” was referring to homosexuality, not strippers.

Throughout the episode, Jerry and George, and most of the other characters, fear being seen as homosexual, yet also feel guilty and afraid they will be perceived as homophobic…Seinfeld has stated that he is particularly proud of the episode, saying that it simultaneously satirizes both homophobia and excessive political correctness.

Listen, if what you’re saying in real life needs to be followed up quickly by “…not that there’s anything wrong with that,” then obviously, you think there is something wrong with it, or you wouldn’t mind having that “that” associated with you.

So, I’m asking all the pole fitness dancers out there to just get off their high horses and admit that, yes, they don’t like being associated with strippers for a reason—because being a stripper is looked down upon. Because being a stripper is seen as trashy and disgusting.

But, twirling around on a pole in skimpy clothes with your pelvis the center of attraction is high and mighty. And athletic. And strong. And feminist.

But strippers? That’s completely different.

And you want the world to know that there’s a difference between you and them.

But, you want to be politically correct, too.

You want to be friends with everybody. I get it.

It’s a lot like the way when I say I was a stripper, I expect the next words out of the listener’s mouth to be, “Oh, you were a prostitute, huh?”

“What? No! I was an exotic dancer! There’s a big difference between what I did and what a hooker does,” I would often say. “But, I mean, not that I don’t think prostituting should be legal, I do. But it’s different. That’s not what I did.”

So perhaps it’s all a natural reaction for us to elevate ourselves above the “negatives” associated with our professions.

And perhaps it’s not all about political correctness, but really about honoring the choices that other women make, even if we would not ourselves make those same decisions.

The Peace of the Theatre: Reentering the World, But Leaving the Drama Behind

They say that it’s not safe for a recovering alcoholic to return to the same friends and hangouts they used to have.

I took that message to heart when I found myself overwhelmed by bad habits, an unhealthy body image and addictions when I quit stripping almost two decades ago.

It wasn’t alcohol or drugs that ruled my world, rather sexual addictions and a need for drama.

I hung up my stilettos and unfortunately, my acting shoes, too, because I could not really separate one stage from another. I left behind my greatest dreams to find a peace of mind I yearned for more than a successful acting career.

There was plenty to fill the gap: I returned to school and shifted my focus from my external self to everything I could accomplish solely with the powers of my mind.

I found new happiness and success: valedictorian of my college, an MFA in Creative Writing, a yoga teacher certification (although, granted, this involved my body, too), a published book, a college teaching career, a husband, a family.

And, finally: Peace.

Sure, the acting bug would pop its shiny head up every now and then and the question would rise: What if?

It wasn’t until my work friend mentioned auditions at a theatre she was involved in that I actually paused and thought: Maybe I should; Maybe I will…

I did. I auditioned. For the first time in fifteen years, and it felt good.

Picture of Sheila Hageman as Gwen Landis

I felt like I was back in my element. Back amongst people who understood my love to make believe and my search for understanding.

Playing Gwen Landis in Lanford Wilson’s “Fifth of July” at the Town Players of Newtown has brought back the joy, the commitment, and interestingly—the peace without the drama of my younger self.

The peace that I find onstage when I release myself to my character and let the rest of the world stop.

This is why I acted. I had forgotten the transportation of self I experience—that same expression of a deeper self I experience when I write, when I teach, when I practice yoga, when I love my family.

I see the cross-connection—the exuberance of experience, of entering a deeply felt sense of life and awe of being.

I open myself to this and allow myself to be attentive to my next steps upon this journey.

Stripper Mom Spreads a Message of Change

http://www.dailyoffbeat.com/articles/3738/20141102/stripper-mom.htm

Here's an interview with me by Tony Sokol on Daily Offbeat.

"I really think my memoir can help other women to see the potential in facing their pasts and embracing who they are. Women need to embrace who they really are and stop judging themselves against others' expectations. I think I've barely begun reaching the women out there who can benefit from my memoir and my message. I am trying to do more speaking engagements because that's where I feel like change can really begin. The groups I have spoken for so far have given me a great response. Women have really connected to my story and my willingness to speak about it. I don't sugarcoat my past or act ashamed of my life either."

Strip Tease Was About More Than Sexual Fantasy

This article in The New York Post, Fantasy-selling strip clubs must pay taxes: judge, reminds me of a similar case in upstate New York last year.

Women take the stage at the Hustler Club.                                   Photo: Getty Images

In both clubs, the management argued they shouldn't have to pay taxes because of an old law on the books, which allows establishments to not pay taxes for “live dramatic, choreographic or musical performance.”

I can totally see how a strip club would try to snake by on this law.

And as I have discussed before, there are certain strippers, who on certain days, really are "dramatic" entertainers.

But let's get real. Even when I had an amazing dramatic performance as a stripper, I knew what most of the men were there for.

Wait a minute. I can't believe I'm backtracking. A lot of customers were certainly not there for a "choreographic" performance, but they were there for much more than just "sexual fantasy."

The customers came to have someone to talk to. To have friends to hang out with. To feel like they were worthy of being talked to by others. To waste time. To find time. To drown their sorrows. To forget life for a while. To live. To be seen. To disappear.

Some of the same reasons I was there.

And, yes. For some of us, when we went up onstage, under the rosy lights when time stood still, we were there to perform. To become sexual fantasies. To become seen and loved and adored from afar. From near.

Sheila Hageman as Kirea at The Blue Angel, NYC

We were human.

The customers. And me.

Stripper is so hot, she sets off fire alarm!

Photo of Go Go Amy via http://news.stv.tv/

Stripping can be a dangerous act, as the people at the Dundee Tattoo Convention would have you know. A burlesque dancer by the name of Go Go Amy set off the smoke alarm when she blew her flaming tassels out.

Ah, yes.

I remember the days when my flaming tassels would set off the smoke alarm.

OK, well, maybe not, but I do remember when I danced at The Blue Angel (aka Fallen Angel) that one particular performer used to set the red curtain behind the stage on fire at least once a week. This would happen in a tiny basement club with just one door out the front. If you were in the dressing room when the place was about to burst into flames, you were out of luck.

The joys of my former life.

Stripper Displays Her Large...Bills

For all you wanna-be strippers out there who read the Huffington Post's piece, Stripper Posts Picture Of Night's Tips To Reddit; Internet Asks, 'Where Do We Sign Up?',don't get all excited by this stripper's take...read the fine print!

"Menagerii" clearly states she worked a double (15 hours in heels, folks!) and that she doesn't usually earn that much.

But if you're interested in learning what it takes to be successful, here is her advice:

"You have to be in good shape, quick witted, confident, and have a pretty face. Everything else follows," she wrote.

I find it interesting to read people's comments following the articles written about this story. It seems most responses fall into one of a few categories: the snarky--Damn! I should be a stripper!, or the superior moralistic--Strippers are nothing more than whores!

I sit and ponder and really wonder...don't we all do some form of work for money, for pay? Why is using one's brain inherently better than using one's body?

Nadya Suleman Returns to Stripping

Phot of Nadya Suleman, Octomom, by Reality TV Magazine

Donna W. Martin writes for She Knows’ Reality TV Magazine: OctomomNadya Suleman Takes to the Stripper Pole, Again.

According to E! News, Suleman will return the pole Thursday Feb. 14 through Saturday Feb. 16 at T’s Lounge in West Palm Beach, Florida where she will give four 15 minute shows and bartend.

After Nadya Suleman’s foray into porn and stripping last year she seemed set up for awhile to take care of her children. Unfortunately, that money did not last long and she has now found herself needing to return to stripping once again to get off welfare.

Welcome to the wonderful world of stripping that I remember only too well.

When I first started stripping at eighteen I had a goal—save enough money to move to New York City to be an actress. I thought I would be stripping for only a year, but what happened instead was that stripping became my way of earning money when I felt I had no other options.

I would come and go back to it for over six years. I believe Suleman has fallen into the same trap, but on a larger scale, especially since she has so many children to take care of.

Once I had it in my mind that stripping was my fallback for fast cash, it was always there. Waiting. Calling me.

Photo of Sheila Hageman, aka Kirea

I cannot judge what Suleman feels she needs to do now because I know the feeling of thinking there is no other answer. And she is being offered a large sum of money, too, which would make this decision even more difficult.

Who are we to judge her choice when she sees returning to stripping for a few days as a way to care for her children? And who knows that we might not make the same choice if presented with it and in her situation?

And, perhaps, just perhaps, Suleman actually enjoys the attention and the acknowledgement of her worth even in a form that most people judge as wrong.

Not Over Until the Fat Lady Sings (Or Strips)

An excerpt from Stephanie Howell’s essay Stripper Role Sparks Artist's Body Acceptance on Women’s enews is going to be my inspiration for the New Year.

Howell explains how when she was cast as a fat stripper in Gypsy that she couldn’t “escape” anyone or her body. There were mirrors, actors, audiences and she was forced to deal with her “fat” body.

“It was through performing Mazeppa and embracing fearlessness that I was able to construct a new understanding of "fat" and the "performance of fatness" in my live performances. I made the conscious decision that I didn't have to hate my body anymore. I didn't have to hide my body anymore--I didn't have to be ashamed of my fatness. That's not to say that newfound acceptance of my fat body happened overnight--it didn't. This was a slow, slow process. A slow process that began with me being grateful that I had a working and functional body--I hadn't damaged my physical body through my own abuse.”

I think when we focus on body acceptance we want it to be an instant fix, but as Howell points out, a change like this takes time to really take hold.

“Through this appreciation, I was able to see my body in a different light. Fat didn't mean "bad," "unworthy," "unlovable" or "undesirable." I began wearing clothing that fit close to my body. I wanted people to see my fatness. I would no longer be invisible. This appreciation of my fatness sparked my professional work.”

This sense of acceptance is what I strive for everyday. An acceptance of my less than perfect parts.

I wonder if stripping, in its literal sense, is a healthy act for women in this context. If we could all be forced to play the role of a stripper and end up having such a positive experience afterwards, it would be totally worth it.

Erotic Ballerina Addicted to Drugs Finds Memoir

From xo Jane: Caitlin Thomas writes in WHAT IT'S REALLYLIKE: I'M A DRUG-ADDICTED STRIPPER: Empowerment comes in the front door when I can make rent in a singular evening. Yet, it leaves through the back door when I blow it all on pills.

I like this woman’s honesty, but it does make me wonder what the correct response is from the reader.

Should we be happy that she’s coherent enough to string together words?

Should we rub our hands together with glee because we knew all along that strippers were all a bunch of druggies?

Should we think it’s so cool and edgy to write about one’s own vices while in the midst of them with that oh-so-cooler-than-thou-attitude of superiority?

Or do we examine the role of memoir as it is used here to hopefully enable this woman to see her demons out in the open and perhaps start dealing with them before it is too late?

Personal writing can be used to help people in the midst of traumatic experiences process the experience and see it for what it is. Thomas’ simple act of reflecting on her experience, which she admits is stereotypical in most people’s eyes, will hopefully allow her to understand herself better and deeper. 

Arne Duncan Strips Down to Save Our Kids' Education!

It has come to this, World: Secretary Of Education Forced To Take Up Stripping To Put Nation Through School.

Even the Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, is Stripping Down now, but it’s in the name of paying for kids’ education, y’all!

Saying it was his only real option to earn much-needed cash, U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan told reporters Tuesday he had been forced to start working as an erotic dancer at the local strip club Peaches in order to put the nation’s students through school.

Ok, yes…this article appears in The Onion. But they really got the stripper dialogue down!

“Taking off your clothes in front of strangers isn’t for everyone, but I’m confident in my body, and regardless, I need to get the money somehow,” said Duncan, who performs under the stage name Velvet. “I’m not planning on doing this forever, just until all 49.8 million kids in our public elementary and secondary schools can graduate. Then I can go back to my regular job.”

There really are strippers out there in the clubs saying this very thing with just a few slight differences.

As a former stripper I can sit here and say that yes, a lot of us strippers can justify our jobs even when we don’t especially like what we are doing. Hey! We’ve got to support the kids, right?

Of course, I would think that goes for most people who don’t like or don’t feel 100% great about their work.

This brings up a real issue when it comes to strippers and a great place for the rest of us to practice compassion—if we were to imagine strippers (or insert a person/worker who you think is doing something immoral) as moms trying to put their kids through school, feed the family and support the household, could we have more compassion and understanding for them?

Perhaps we all “Strip Down” in some way in our lives when we need to—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Lap Dancing is Not an Art Says New York Court

The AP reports that the courts have decided and the verdict is...lap dancing is not an art!

I had a feeling that his might be the finding, but what surprises me is how close the vote was; the vote was split 4 to 3.

It looks like Nite Moves strip club is going to have to cough up the back taxes they owe or get to choreographing those lap dances better. Maybe throw a few tutus on the dancers. You know, high-brow it up a bit.

What do you think? Should stripping or lap dancing be considered an art?