Big Gal Yoga shows that anyone,
any size, can practice yoga and even be flexible.
Valerie discovered yoga the same
way I did, in a college class.
She was hooked.
And now, she shares photos of
herself and her body positive message to encourage everyone to practice yoga,
no matter what body type they may have.
She exudes a serene vibe and I
feel like she really believes her message.
Another woman encouraging us with
her body positive and breaking expectations style is Molly Soda, an artist
sharing photos of what she looks like in what some might say are unflattering
circumstances.
Soda is shattering the selfie
expectation, which is usually of women trying to look their very best, by
showing the parts of her that many women try to hide, like body hair and an
unmade-up face.
The more women who share their “truths,” the
more we will all feel more comfortable to embrace and share our own realities without distortion.
No more #thighgaps or #bikinibridges or #thighbrows, please.
In case you're wondering, the photo above demonstrates the "thighbrow." See that little crease where the thigh kind of folds and makes a...brow?
You're welcome.
It's amazing the ridiculousness of some of these body fads or trends or stupid photos that have been appearing as "thinspiration" or even some of them as "body positive."
We do not need anymore; thank you very much.
Unless you can think up something even sillier than #thighbrow.
Keep in mind that you don’t know
if that person you are looking at does have an eating disorder or not. An
eating disorder can affect any body, any age, any size, any gender.
If they do have an eating problem,
then being ridiculed about their body may in fact trigger or worsen that issue.
The best thing to do when you see
someone that you feel the urge to say something to about their size is ask
yourself if it’s your place.
If it’s a friend or family member whom
you are concerned about, you’re certainly not going to make snide remarks, you’re
going to show concern and love.
If it’s a photo you saw on Instagram, it’s
probably best to follow the age-old adage: If
you don’t have anything nice to say…
Lena Dunham, actress, writer and
director extraordinaire, has created a hashtag for people to share their “beautiful
lonesome photos”: #beautifullylonesome.
A photo posted by Sheila Hageman (@sheilamhageman) on
She has long been a positive body
image supporter and has no fear of exposing herself through her art.
Dunham is also beginning a
newsletter called Lenny, which will include stories from a feminist slant.
Tag @lennyletter & me in YOUR
beautifully lonesome pics please and we'll share some standouts on
@lennyletter's insta...#beautifullylonesome
What does #beautifullylonesome mean exactly?
It could be so
many different things—even for those of us surrounded by loving family and
friends, we all feel lonely sometimes.
@LenaDunham
To be able to
find the beauty within that loneliness, within a sadness that can strip us away
from the things we love, can be a challenge on most days. But we need to keep
trying.
To be able to
look at ourselves boldly, naked and without regrets or apologies, is freedom.
We can strip down, see others’
beauty, and hopefully, eventually, see ours as well.
I’m still trying to come to terms
with my three-baby belly. I feel ashamed of its wonkiness on my bad days,
guilty for not loving myself more completely on my better days.
I know that I should celebrate my “stripes” that I have earned, and I know that my
body brought three little humans into this world, but I still can’t help feeling
the way I do.
I can simply keep trying,
everyday, to accept and love myself a little more.
Although from the comments
section, I would say that most readers disagree heartily with that term being
applied to a naked pregnant woman.
Look, I’m all for women posing
nude, pregnant or not, if it makes them feel good and empowered. I’ve been
known to do it myself (although not while pregnant, which I actually kind of
regret).
But at this point, when it’s been
done to death, and we’ve already seen the aforementioned celebrities nude or
all glammed up, it’s not like it’s really such a shock anymore.
I’d really actually rather see a pregnant
celebrity pose in some clothes from Walmart or something along those lines.
Photo of pregnant Sheila Hageman wearing cheap maternity clothes
Now that would be different! We
would see them in a different light. They would be taking a risk.
As viewers, we would have the
opportunity to feel like they were really trying to relate to the “real” woman
(and by that, I don’t mean that they
aren’t real, I just mean it in the
terms of them having different photographic experiences possible to them than the majority of pregnant women).
While reading the comments the
ladies made, I really felt the women were being honest and I felt they were
really looking at the experience.
Nina said:
Honestly, I wish we
could go back to wearing old-timey full-coverage swimsuits. I also have fairly
large boobs and it’s really hard to find a suit that lets me move around and
NOT flash people. I assumed these models just got made up, put on the swimsuit,
struck a pose and got the shot. Easy. But it wasn’t easy. The sand was really
hard and hurt my knees. It was freaking cold that day and I did not want to wet
my hair in the ice water of the Pacific. I struggled to make my body even
somewhat resemble the model’s, no matter how much I sucked in.
Looking at these models was just a
constant reminder that never in my adult life have I been that skinny or white,
so I can’t pretend that I relate. It sucks because there are different ways to
represent “bikini bodies” and beauty in general, but we’re force-fed one image.
I wish I could see someone like me in a magazine, but I’m still waiting.
While I want to believe the men
are speaking honestly, there was more of a level of snark like this was all
just a big joke.
Logan said:
Almost every single
male underwear model looks like he was sculpted by someone trying to create the
ideal man. The funny thing is, when I look at these ads, I don’t even notice
the underwear. It’s just more like, damn. How do you get that ripped?
The confidence behind my pose was
certainly tough to fake. I had a fairly “natural” pose, but a thousand
questions popped into my head while I was doing it: How do my arms look? Do I
have that line in my stomach? Can you see my flat butt from this angle? How’s
my package lookin’? WHAT DO I DO WITH MY FACE? I was really afraid that my arms
would look scrawny, my legs would look really white, and my stomach would
be…awkward.
A great way to feel insecure is to
compare your body to that of an underwear model. Or to anyone else, for that
matter. You just have to learn to appreciate your own body, which is tough, but
necessary. I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way.
But, of course, for the women, the
Victoria’s Secret brand is much more of a presence in their lives than the
Calvin Klein ads are for the men.
Because it’s not just VS that can
seemingly taunt women with high expectations of what it means to look like a
woman—it’s every magazine on the grocery store stands, it’s every newsstand, it’s
every billboard. It’s the culture.
For men, it’s much more—once in a
blue moon. So it’s more of a joke. It’s more of a humorous exercise in
imagining what it would feel like to really feel the need to look like one of those men.
But they know at the end of the
day, it’s all just a joke. Men have not been ingrained to compute their value
or their worth based on their looks.
What’s even more complicated is
how we can be positive role models for an issue that we ourselves feel so
complicated about.
Let’s break it down into simple
terms: Iggy Azalea is a controversial Australian rapper who said, “I don’t
think positive body image means always having to be 100 per cent natural.”
She’s had a breast augmentation
and a nose job.
After she was already
famous.
So, it’s not like she was trying
to make herself fit some stereotype in order to be seen and celebrated. And
there was certainly no way of her fans not noticing the changes. So, she didn’t
try to hide her surgeries.
The question becomes, why?
If one has already become
successful (looking the way one looks naturally), why would one want to change
that look?
“I try to be body-positive,
whether you’re just loving your natural self or you want to make changes…It’s
important we have that conversation, because we have this Photoshop
conversation a lot of the time, but it’s a bit more invasive or taboo for
people to talk about the surgical ways we sometimes enhance ourselves. That’s
very relevant to girls who are looking to you, or aspiring to you. As much as
people should know you’re Photoshopped, they should know if you’re surgically
enhanced. It’s too unfair [otherwise].”
I applaud Azalea’s honesty. And I
get that people do see this whole beauty ideal as some sort of competition in a
way.
Who can be thinnest? Who can be
most beautiful?
But is the answer to give in to
the pressures? Whether of society’s or our own making?
For young girls, knowing the truth
does not always equal an ability to rationalize that they do not need to meet
those beauty standards.
They may intellectually understand
a photo is photoshopped or a model has had work done, but what they see is the finished product.
They see what they want to be, and
they’ll do anything to get there.
Bodies have always been seen as
artful and beautiful. They have also been seen as canvasses for the stories we
have to tell. And now, with such amazing technology available to many, we are
seeing and hearing stories that we didn’t hear before.
For example, I am loving the abundance
of photographers taking photographs of mothers pre and post baby.
There will never be too many.
Let these photos of moms
celebrating their bodies become as commonplace as models in bikinis on magazine
covers in supermarkets.
The latest project I learned about
is Divine Mothering by photographer Liliana Taboas Cruz.
Cruz’s photos of mothers on her blog also include interviews
with her models, which allow the viewer to put a personality and story to the
images.
Two other photographers, Paula Akpan and Harriet Evans, use
models of differing body types, genders and race to express the different ideas
and stereotypes that people are tired of hearing in the "I'm Tired" project.
The mission of this project is “to highlight the
significance and lasting impact of everyday micro-aggressions and stereotypes.”
Art is all around us now. Images and stories flood our
virtual lives.
Artists are taking advantage of the possibilities to address
social issues and reach audiences all over the world.
Each project spawns the artist in others. Each celebration
of diversity allows the next generation to feel more vocal and capable of
telling their own truths and stories.
My six-year-old son just walked up
behind me writing this post and when he saw these photos he said, “Oh my gosh!
That woman is so fat, her fat is coming out of her shirt.”
“That’s not nice to say, that
someone is so fat,” I said.
And he looked at me quizzically.
I’m sitting here wondering what is
correct.
I don’t want my children to just
be politically correct and feel like they can’t speak of what they see and use
words that they know.
Fat isn’t inherently a bad word.
And that seems to be partly what Brazilian
photographer Miarana Godoy is saying with her photos of large-sized women in
lingerie.
You can't tell if someone is healthy
by looking at them. Regardless of whether they are fat or thin. You cannot tell
just by looking at them.
Photos can tell any story. The
real story lies behind the images. In our lives. And whether we are healthy or
not should not become some new standard to self-acceptance either.
We don't want to lose one way to
judge ourselves simply to be replaced by another.
We need to love ourselves no
matter what. Fat. Skinny. Healthy. Unhealthy.
And while I know my son would
never say something to someone’s face about being “fat,” I want to make sure he
knows that a person’s size has nothing to do with his or her worth.
A photo posted by Sheila Hageman (@sheilamhageman) on
I wish I could say I read her essay and shook my head and said to myself, Oh no! Don’t women know they don’t need to worry about these thing anymore!
But instead I read with that distinctive sensation of knowing I could have written those same words.
In fact, when I read:
And this, I think, it was bugs me more about
advice to women to control their bodies and image for others pleasure or
approval. The way women are burdened not only with looking good, with
eradicating all signs of wear and tear, but also the burden of not making the
world unpleasant for others by lookingbad. Who suffers when a
jiggly arm waves goodbye? Who suffers at the sight of a varicose vein or an
untoned thigh? Who really suffers?
I actually raised my arm and waved to see if I
could feel that flabby swing.
I quickly lowered my arm as I imagined a stupid
social media beauty challenge beginning—a video of yourself waving that proves
your arm doesn’t flap: #ArmNoFlappy. I would be #TeamFlappyArm.
And I also know that feeling, though I hate to
admit it, of wanting to protect others from me. I know that feeling of not
wanting to gross out others by my “unfeminine” qualities.
Like—I better cover up my butt and belly with a
towel as soon as I step out of the pool, so as to not make anyone feel
uncomfortable with my less than model-perfect abs and ass.
How sad for me that I cannot completely break free
of the need to either look a certain way or at least hide myself if I don’t
measure up to the standard.
It’s so ingrained. No need for anyone else to
body shame me.
Do you feel angry when a thin
woman whines, “I’m so fat!”?
Probably, if you think she’s just
looking for some praise about how great she really
looks.
If you thought that woman might have
an eating disorder or body dysmorphic disorder, you’d probably feel compelled
to reassure her that she looked good.
Now, how about if someone called you fat?
How would that make you feel? What
would be your reaction?
I love Handler’s response: "You
know, I had a boyfriend who told me my boobs were too big and that I was fat.
And then, I looked in the mirror."
She’s become well-known for her
love of posting topless shots on Instagram and other social media.
What was most interesting at Daily
Mail were the responses to the Handler article. A long series of misogynistic,
body-shaming crap…
Not a bad bod but whenever she
opens her mouth she ruins it.
Fishing for compliments on social
media again I see.
and your ex was right, you still
look chubby
Not interested in her at all!
I think she is generally un
appealing due to her personality and face. Her body is very average.
She appears to be a healthy weight
to me. But this is really about her needing public affirmation so she can feel
good about herself.
It is astonishing how the Internet
makes people feel so bold as to say the most ignorant comments. I would love to
see those same commentators say any of those things to Handler’s face.
I’m sure she’d have a witty
response at the ready.
How have you reacted when someone
called you fat? Please share!
Lena Dunham is receiving kudos for
sharing a paparazzi photo of her running for an episode of Girls on Instagram.
She’s makeup free and proudly
running. She said:
Not usually one to post a
paparazzi shot but this fills me with pride. Basically my whole life I have
hated running and run like a wounded baby Pterodactyl. It was embarrassing and
honestly I did not trust myself to escape a burning building or even move
briskly towards a buffet. @jennikonner is directing the season finale of Girls
and decided that as Hannah evolved so would her run, so she got me a training
session with Matt Wilpers from Mile High Run Club. Within an hour I had a
different relationship to this formerly torturous activity. I felt strong,
swift and proud. I'm not about to embrace that triathlon life but it's a true
joy to continue getting more connected to my body and its powers. (Extra
motivation provided by @manrepeller for @outdoorvoices.) #moveforyourmind
The reason people are praising the
shot is because she’s not a waif, but is happily jogging along in exercise wear
that proudly displays her body.
Much like the image of plus-size
model Erica Schenk that appeared on the August cover of Women’s Running and has
been touted for showing that a heavier-set woman can still be fit.
Proudly displaying women of all
sizes exercising can go a long way in allowing women who have a myriad of body
types feel more comfortable and “allowed” to put on their exercise duds and get
out there and moving.
It also goes to show that just
because someone is heavier, it doesn’t mean they aren’t healthy.
Of course, the opposite is true.
Just because someone is thin, it sure as heck doesn’t mean they could even run
for the bus. Take me for instance, I’m relatively thin right now, but seriously
out-of-shape.
Perhaps I should post a photo of
me in exercise gear huffing and puffing?
When I grew up, I never heard
positive reinforcement about body image from any female in my life…I only heard
negatives. That’s very damaging, because then you’re programmed as a young
woman to immediately scrutinize yourself and how you look.
Winslet is being careful to only
pass on positive body image messages to her children, which is what I try to
do.
USWeekly.com
Here are a few tips on how to speak
to your kids about body image from the very start:
1. Don’t be afraid to let your
kids see your body naked. If the media keeps showing highly-polished versions
of humans for the public’s consumption, we need to make sure kids see what
un-photoshopped bodies look like, too, so they grow up with healthy
expectations of what different bodies look like.
2. Don’t focus on what your kids
look like. Especially with my daughter, I was hyper-vigilant that other people
and I didn’t focus on her looks when we complimented her. I still do the same
thing, for my boys also. I focus most often on my kids’ personal achievements
and positive attributes like intelligence, being a kind person and doing good
in the world.
3. Don’t ignore body image issues
as they arise. I’m always looking for teachable moments: when my daughter was
young and commented on her Wonder Woman figurine’s overly-ample-sized bosom, I talked
about how not all women look like that. We talked about how it made her feel
and that we need to be aware that what is presented to us as a body “ideal” is
not always realistic or attainable.
Always trust your gut when
speaking to your kids and try to be as honest as possible while encouraging
positive body imagery for your kids.
Photo of Patricia Arquette via belfasttelegraph.co.uk/
Arquette articulates this issue
well:
I don't want to do anything
to my face. But I also reserve the right to do that if I choose to, you know?
And without apologising to a million strangers, because even having a
conversation about, 'You don't look natural, you did something weird to your
face,' we are making it about the way women look…It's none of your f**king
business what they look like.
I love that she speaks so honestly
about not knowing if one day she might want to change how she looks surgically,
but how that is totally up to her.
As long as we put so much emphasis
on a woman’s looks, we are only going to move women’s right forward so much.
It’s great that we’re in the
cultural phase of openly speaking about all aspects of body image, but I do
look forward to (hopefully in my lifetime) the time when we won’t need to talk about it anymore…
The anonymity of the Internet
seems to make people feel bold behind their computer screens. Things that most
people would never say out loud becomes easy to spout at a distance.
Perhaps the only way around this
negativity is to not read comments at all? But then we miss the opportunity of
receiving the positive messages, too.
I for one am happy to hear
criticism about my work in any form if its aim is to point out ways to improve
upon the work, but when people attack a person based on their opinions, that’s
really taking it too far.
Whatever happened to…if you don’t
have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?
The word “curvy” has been used a
lot on Instagram to hashtag photos containing nudity, but other more explicit
words like #penis or #vagina are apparently ok to search for on the site.
The example of the reverse being
banned, thinspo, is very different, right? Thinspo has been banned because it
encourages the use of too-skinny girls as inspiration for what some worry are
anorexics browsing for pics of inspiration.
Is Instagram afraid women are
going to start looking at “curvy” women as inspiration to gain weight? We
wouldn’t want that now, would we?
Actually, the whole idea of
banning certain words from searches is ridiculous. Yes, I know Instagram is a
private business and so can make the rules. But the rules don’t make sense.
When will we learn that “hiding”
things, or banning them, just makes them more attractive and another #curvy
word will just come to replace the one left behind.
If someone wants to fins naked
pics on Instagram, they will find them, regardless of the words they are tagged
with!
If a woman wants to empower
herself by using the term #curvy as an awesome way to identify her body positively,
then by God, let her and let people be able to find her and celebrate her.
This is just a small sampling of the hashtags that go along with social media beauty challenges and the challenges meant to disrupt their hold on our attention.
Social media beauty challenges
have proliferated recently. From thigh gaps to coin or egg balancing in one’s
collarbones to The Belly Button Challenge, which involves touching one’s belly
button by reaching around one’s waist, these challenges are meant to highlight
how thin someone is.
The latest social media challenge
has teens smearing their faces with makeup in the name of body-positivity — but
the videos are actually just insulting…The hashtag #DontJudgeChallenge was
trending on Instagram earlier Monday where there are over 85,000 thousand posts
using the hashtag.
Of course, just as we have all
these negative social media body challenges, we also have lots of people
challenging the challenges with some challenges actually worth doing.
Teens are actually showing their
flaws and tagging them #BeautyInAllChallenge. They’re saying, this is me,
pimples and all. And I am beautiful.
Today I’m starting a hashtag to
encourage everyone to my #AndIAmBeautiful social media challenge:
Take a photo or video of yourself
with one hand over your heart to represent the message coming from your heart
and give a reason that has nothing to do with physical appearance about why you
are beautiful, and label it #AndIAmBeautiful.
#AndIAmBeautiful because I care deeply about people...
Check out Blake Lively, Zoë
Saldana, Mila Kunis and more stars flaunting their post-pregnancy figures.
There's even one famous mama who hit a red carpet 11 (!) days after giving birth.
Credit: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP; Stephen Lovekin/Getty
I felt buoyed up by Hilaria Baldwin’s
after photo, which shows what many mothers probably recognize—the after-baby-but-still-there-bump.
@HilariaBaldwin/Instagram
Revolutionary! Show your
still-there-bump loud and proud!
Yes, there are some women who
definitely do return right back to their original figure, but a larger
percentage of women never look the same after birth.
After three children, my body has
definitely changed.
I photographed my belly after my
last birth; I knew it would get better eventually and I’d be able to look back
and say, thank goodness.
Hmm, why would I want to save
photos of my poor, wrinkly flesh after having been stretched to the limit for
nine months and then suddenly deflated? Perhaps as evidence of the sacrifice I made for my children.
Then today I saw a quote from Baldwin, which
made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
The yoga teacher told the DailyMail: “Giving birth to Carmen made me realize the body does go back to what it
was before…If you eat healthy and treat your body well, it will go back to its
original state.”
Sorry to burst any bubbles, but—Yes,
your body may go back to its original state, but…it probably won’t.
Eating healthy and exercising will
obviously give you the best shot at having your body look the way it did before
baby, but trust me when I say, that is not necessarily true.
I have still not come to terms
with how my belly looks.
I have tried to love it and
celebrate it and be proud of it.
I could lie and say I love my
belly wrinkles, but I do not.
I don’t know whether to hide it so
as to not scare small children or display it as a feminist badge.
All I do know is that I want to
love my body just as it is. And I am trying my hardest to get there.
1. No
matter celebrity status, success, money or privilege, coming out to the world
as a women took more courage than most people display in their entire lives.
As accepting as many liberal
Americans are today, I sometimes forget (or maybe just want to) that not
everybody is not as accepting and freethinking as my friends and I are. Heck,
just saying that, I realize some of my friends may be thinking—I’m not that free thinking, Sheila!
2. Caitlyn
Jenner’s very public transition from a celebrated male athlete to a confident woman
will help so many confused young people.
For any young people confused my
their gender identification, having a world-famous role model to use as proof
that there is nothing wrong with what they feel in their heart, can hopefully
be transformational and a source of support.
3. It
is never too late to make major changes in one’s life and self.
Jenner is setting an example that
no matter how one has portrayed oneself to the world, no matter for how long,
it is still possible at any point in one’s life to say, this is the real me. Jenner shows that regardless of what some will
say, one can come into one’s true self at any age.
Photo of Caitlyn Jenner from Vanity Fair
My one reservation
How wonderful that Jenner has the
wealth, the status and the privilege to make her transition in such a
well-supported way.
Her status as a respected athlete
and her fame from reality television has given her the opportunity to
transition with the best team of specialists available.
Money was no object at any point
of this change.
Her ability to be photographed by
the world-famous Annie Leibovitz and to be styled by the top makeup and hair
professionals available, and to be dressed in the finest of couture, and to be
lighted and primped and polished and photoshopped to perfection, does not
represent the reality of most people transitioning.
We are again presented with an
idealized female representation of beauty that most of us can never achieve.
Of course, that is not to say that
this cover is not beautiful. It is.
I imagine most of us, were we to
be given the opportunity to be on the cover of Vanity Fair, would not say no to being beautified by the experts…
Australian model Erin McNaught is
the latest woman to post a mommy body photo on Instagram. Her photo shows her
in a bikini four weeks after giving birth.
''4 weeks PP [post partum] and I'm
starting to get my stomach back!
Aside from lots of walking and
eating healthily, I've been doing loads of pelvic floor and transverse
abdominus exercises. Still no traditional ab work though which is driving me
crazy! #bodyafterbaby”
The comments range from
congratulatory messages for her being so healthy and working hard to the
negative observations that this sends a bad message to other new moms.
There are already so many
pressures placed upon women to look a certain way and be a certain way as moms,
that a photo and message like this can trigger negative thoughts and behaviors
in non-model moms.
The worst part of photos like this
though is that it sets up a certain ideal unconsciously in women’s minds.
When I gave birth to my first
child, I had never seen a post-pregnancy belly before, except for toned abs
like McNaught’s.
When I looked down at my belly in
the days following the birth of my daughter, I was scared. I thought my abs
would never be seen again. If I had only seen other moms and their squishy
post-pregnancy bellies, I wouldn’t have been so worried that there was
something wrong with me.
My post-pregnancy belly
My belly button looked like a cork
popping out of my round midsection.
I took a photo out of
bewilderment. Would this ever reverse itself?
My belly has somewhat returned to
a normal state, but regardless of how much ab work, or exercises, or dieting I do,
it looks like I will always have a wonky looking belly.
Am I jealous of women like McNaught?
No. I know that every woman is
different. Every body is different.
Should she be showing off her trim
tummy for all to see? It’s her prerogative.
I am not one to speak, having at
one time been photographed looking good. Having once made a living based on
what my body looked like.
My pre-pregnancy belly
Did I ever make another woman feel
bad about herself? I never really thought about it quite like that before.
Do women have a responsibility to
other women when it comes to their beauty? Is there a difference between
celebrating ourselves and showing off?
Should there be?
Should intent matter when it comes to sharing photos
of ourselves?
Should we have to consider how other people will react to our photos? Either out of jealousy for our killer abs or even revulsion for our wrinkly, stretch-marked bellies?
