When Stripping Feels Like Your Only Option

“Kim” wrote an opinion piece for The Guardian, I work at the US Senate. I shouldn't have to dance at strip clubs to feed my son.

This is a powerful story that highlights how and why some women who wouldn’t normally strip find themselves in situations where stripping becomes the best option they see available.

Kim details her very rough childhood and her amazing struggle to stand on her own two feet as a young woman. Being a single mother, she cannot afford to pay her bills every month unless she strips.

I’m a single mother and I struggle to support my son on the $10.33 an hour I make at one of the most exclusive clubs in America – the US Senate. I’m a cashier employed by the British-owned contractor that runs the cafeterias in the Senate office buildings. But even though I serve some of the wealthiest and most powerful people in the world, I can’t afford to buy my son school supplies or clothes…

When I realized that I couldn’t survive on what I was making at the Senate, I made a difficult decision. Faced with eviction notices and unpaid bills, I decided to dance at a strip club a few nights a week to earn extra money. It was the only job I could find that let me work a flexible schedule and earn a living wage.

I was not in such a desperate situation when I began stripping at 18, but in my naïve mind at the time, I felt a sense of there being no other avenues for me to turn to.

Obviously, that wasn’t true for me, but I believed it and so it became my reality for awhile..

Kim sounds as though stripping really is one of her only viable options to make the money she needs, working the hours she needs.

I don’t want to be a stripper: it can be demeaning to dance for men who show no respect for women. I only do it out of necessity, because I have to support my son…when [the senators] sit down with the primary voters and listen to their problems, I hope they’ll be thinking about my story too – and the tough decisions the workers who serve them every day have to make for the people they love.

I wish I had an answer for Kim and other women like her who feel stripping is their only saving grace.

Right now, all I have to offer are words of encouragement and support that it does get better and will get better.

You are doing what you need to for yourself and your family. Hold your head high and know that you are valuable and valued.

Thank you for sharing your story, Kim.

Stripper Mom Spreads a Message of Change

http://www.dailyoffbeat.com/articles/3738/20141102/stripper-mom.htm

Here's an interview with me by Tony Sokol on Daily Offbeat.

"I really think my memoir can help other women to see the potential in facing their pasts and embracing who they are. Women need to embrace who they really are and stop judging themselves against others' expectations. I think I've barely begun reaching the women out there who can benefit from my memoir and my message. I am trying to do more speaking engagements because that's where I feel like change can really begin. The groups I have spoken for so far have given me a great response. Women have really connected to my story and my willingness to speak about it. I don't sugarcoat my past or act ashamed of my life either."

Why is Porn Seen as the Best Option for these Moms?

Perhaps because Mother’s Day is right around the corner, there are a lot of controversial moms in the news this week.

Another porn star/mother is Alana Evans, who appeared on Dr. Drew’s HLN show May 1st and was reported on the Huffington Post.

"Porn saved my life. It gave me a way to be with my son, to be with him every day after school," Evans said. "It gave me enough to take care of myself to take care of him, to pay our bills without being on welfare and stay off public assistance."

“Evans even came to the defense of "Octomom" Nadya Suleman, who shortly after filing bankruptcy, has reportedly signed on to star in a masturbation video for extra money.

"Any woman who's willing to do whatever she has to to take care of her children -- even if that means doing porn -- good for her," Evans said. "Other people may not agree with it, but ... in reality she is putting her kids first."”

I totally support women doing what they need to do to make ends meet as long as they feel good about what they are doing and not harming anyone.

Perhaps the big issue that isn’t being addressed is that porn is the best option these women see for themselves as a way to make enough money to support their kids and spend time with them.

Why is that? Why are there not better options for working mothers?