I have not been posting on my blog for a long time. Working full-time while also parenting and freelance writing takes up most of my days. I also try to work on some larger writing projects too, although with no big chunks of time, this has proven difficult.
To get anything done, I have found that making small daily commitments works best for me.
On my Instagram account, @sheilamhageman, for example, I have committed to #OneYogaPoseADay, posing and posting one yoga pose a day. This is the biggest commitment that I can comfortably make to yoga right now, but at least it keeps me active in yoga and creativity in a tiny way.
A post shared by Sheila Hageman (@sheilamhageman) on
I also have committed to sending out one pitch a day during the work week to make sure I am constantly pitching freelance essays. This has been doable and is keeping me writing everyday.
Another commitment I tried to make was editing at least one page of a large work-in-progress or writing at least one page of one my larger projects. I didn't succeed fully on this one yet. I have been giving in to sleep!
I won't be hard on myself though, I will try again, starting today. (Always start today, not tomorrow, with a new commitment!)
So, back to the drawing board...or writing board, or laptop, that is!
Why don't you give it a try?
Make one tiny commitment that will move a project forward. Make it very small to begin...
Big Gal Yoga shows that anyone,
any size, can practice yoga and even be flexible.
Valerie discovered yoga the same
way I did, in a college class.
She was hooked.
And now, she shares photos of
herself and her body positive message to encourage everyone to practice yoga,
no matter what body type they may have.
She exudes a serene vibe and I
feel like she really believes her message.
Another woman encouraging us with
her body positive and breaking expectations style is Molly Soda, an artist
sharing photos of what she looks like in what some might say are unflattering
circumstances.
Soda is shattering the selfie
expectation, which is usually of women trying to look their very best, by
showing the parts of her that many women try to hide, like body hair and an
unmade-up face.
The more women who share their “truths,” the
more we will all feel more comfortable to embrace and share our own realities without distortion.
Maren Scull at the University of
Colorado Denver did a few years study where she concluded what I already know
from experience—men and women experience objectification in different ways.
Women often have experienced
objectification much more than men, and oftentimes in a more negative and even
threatening or violent way, but when men are objectified, they perceive it in a much
more positive way.
Men can actually enjoy the
experience because it’s not in their everyday experience to be negatively
objectified everywhere they look, so they are able to gain positive boosts to
their self-esteem.
“'Initially women who dance for
men may experience a boost in self-esteem, but after time they suffer from a
diminished self-concept…Because stripping is a stigmatising occupation, it has
the capacity to negatively affect exotic dancers' self-definitions,' Scull
said.”
I would agree that I definitely
had more positive self-esteem when I began as a stripper and the direct
objectification was still new and somewhat thrilling. The longer I stayed in
the profession though, the worse I felt about myself.
All the negatives added up and
worked to demoralize me and dehumanize me.
Thank goodness, for the joy I was
still able to feel at certain moments when my audience was civil, adoring, and
throwing money. I became the dance; I became my sensuality and I burned.
Unfortunately, a fire always burns itself out.
This morning in the minivan, my four-year-old said,
“Do you know who my favorite super hero is?”
“No. Who?”
“Hulk Smash!”
“Why? Because he's so big or because he’s so
strong?”
“Strong!”
“Do you want to be strong someday?”
A pause from him. I catch my mistake in the silence.
Why am I delaying his being strong to the future as opposed to right now?
“I mean, are
you so strong?”
“Yes!” He shouts back without delay. “I am so
strong!”
Why can't I be as confident as he can in being what
I want to be? He tries on abilities with no problem, claiming them for himself
as desired. I know deep down he is aware that he isn’t literally as strong as
Hulk, but that does not stop him from embodying it for himself.
When does our ability to declare positive attributes
for ourselves grind to a stop? When do we begin to focus more on our weaknesses,
on what we are not, on what we cannot do or be?
Is there any way to recapture that brilliant childlike
belief that we can all be superheroes?
We are superheroes. With super powers.
We just need to claim it for ourselves.
Who do you want to be today?
What super power do you create for yourself today?
WARNING: For this to work, you are actually going to
have to live into the strength you choose. You are going to have to “act as if”
you already have the power, which you do, you just might not realize it.
You will need to be brave and feel your power and
live it.
I’ve been off antidepressants for almost a month now. The
euphoria of experiencing real joy, laughter and happy emotions is wearing off
already. At first, as my body and mind cleared of the medication fog I’ve come
to know as my normal state of being, I saw things brighter, laughed heartier
and felt optimistic beyond my greatest imaginings.
Suddenly, writing projects that I had to force myself to work
on took on new importance, new urgency.
The joys I was experiencing were enough to make the equally
strong difficult emotions that were arising seem not so bad. Yes, I was having
bursts of anger and rage jump from my being with no filter, but that was to be
expected. At least I was experiencing my emotions outwardly as opposed to what
I’d become accustomed to—only depression and always projected inwardly.
But the heavy thoughts are returning already. They are
trying to take over, trying to show me who’s boss. The depression is slinking
in through the cracks, building momentum as I lose my forward thrust through
life. I feel it in my bones.
I know I can always return to meds if it gets as bad as it
has in the past, but I want to try something else first.
I realize that I have to be proactive every day. It is not
enough to want to be happy for someone who suffers from depression. At least
not for me.
I have to push myself into joy every day. I have to choose
joy to show my depression who’s really boss.
I’ve tried this in many ways in the past, but never
succeeded for very long, so I’ve been asking myself what really brings me joy.
What am I missing from my life?
Something that keeps coming up is that I miss performing. I
miss expressing myself through my body, through my voice, through my energy.
When I am teaching writing or yoga, I enter into that blissful place of
non-time. I love connecting with an audience; I love inspiring others to feel
and find joy.
And I do love to dance and to sing. Even though I am not
trained. Even though I don’t know the “right” way to do these things. I do know
they bring me joy. And I want more joy in my life.
So, this is my experiment. I will share here on my blog,
once a day, me finding my joy, pushing myself into my joy.
It may be embarrassing, but I don’t care. This is what I
teach my students to do. This is what I need to do.
Push myself into my joy, even if it means stepping outside
of my comfort zone. No more living life small and depressed. No more caring
what others think.
I choose joy today. (And hopefully tomorrow I will convince
myself to find joy once more.)
Q102 radio station in Philly wants to help out an
unfortunate woman this year. A woman unfortunate enough to have been dealt the
serious blow of being small-breasted.
DO YOU NEED COSMETIC BREAST SURGERY?
Are you looking to make some big changes in the New Year?
Need a lift after the holidays? Then listen up! All you need to do is submit a
tasteful picture of yourself showcasing your tiny ta-tas.
How fabulous is a contest like this for women’s self esteem?
If you have small breasts, there must be something missing from your life. If
you do not have the body of a porn star, there must be something wrong with
you.
Photo of Q102 contestant
Who would pass up this opportunity for a new pair of free
breasts?
As I flipped through the photos of the contestants I couldn’t
help but notice how beautiful they already are.
Why must we continually push women to want to be something
other than what they are?
While I think every woman needs to make her own choices for
what is right for her, it still feels pretty disheartening for people to
actively be implying that a woman’s body is flawed or somehow imperfect if it
doesn’t match the standards of our culture.
This Is My Beautiful is a safe space to share and
celebrate our diverse beauty as women, a place to proudly say to the world—This
Is My Beautiful!
We live in a world where what is considered to be
female beauty is often predetermined and shaped for our consumption. Let’s
change that by celebrating beauty in all its shapes, sizes, colors and subtle
nuances.
Break the cycle of body shame and self-hatred!
Our life stories and dreams can be found in both our
inner and outer beauty. There is
nothing wrong with celebrating our physical beauty—our outer uniqueness! And we
all are beautiful.
We need practice as women saying This Is My Beautiful and I’m proud. Too often we believe it’s
egotistical to recognize and discuss what makes us beautiful on the outside.
Sayings like “Beauty is only skin deep” lead us to think that being aware of
our outer beauty is shallow and rude. But if we look around ourselves we are
able to see and celebrate beauty in others and the world.
A beautiful sunset can remind us of a deeper beauty
that lies beneath the outer container. Physical beauty can represent the
beauty, the love, the passion that lies inside our hearts and souls.
Capture your beautiful, your sexy, your confidence.
Nourish your soul by proclaiming to the world that you are allowed to own your
beauty. Let’s affirm for each other our Beautifuls
that may never have been noticed or affirmed before.
Share a photo of yourself where you exhibit your beautiful and tell us why the photograph
creates that feeling for you. It can be a close-up of one of your toes or a
long shot of you standing holding your child—whatever photograph you look at
and feel proud, happy and in love with yourself in some way.
