Nadya Suleman Returns to Stripping

Phot of Nadya Suleman, Octomom, by Reality TV Magazine

Donna W. Martin writes for She Knows’ Reality TV Magazine: OctomomNadya Suleman Takes to the Stripper Pole, Again.

According to E! News, Suleman will return the pole Thursday Feb. 14 through Saturday Feb. 16 at T’s Lounge in West Palm Beach, Florida where she will give four 15 minute shows and bartend.

After Nadya Suleman’s foray into porn and stripping last year she seemed set up for awhile to take care of her children. Unfortunately, that money did not last long and she has now found herself needing to return to stripping once again to get off welfare.

Welcome to the wonderful world of stripping that I remember only too well.

When I first started stripping at eighteen I had a goal—save enough money to move to New York City to be an actress. I thought I would be stripping for only a year, but what happened instead was that stripping became my way of earning money when I felt I had no other options.

I would come and go back to it for over six years. I believe Suleman has fallen into the same trap, but on a larger scale, especially since she has so many children to take care of.

Once I had it in my mind that stripping was my fallback for fast cash, it was always there. Waiting. Calling me.

Photo of Sheila Hageman, aka Kirea

I cannot judge what Suleman feels she needs to do now because I know the feeling of thinking there is no other answer. And she is being offered a large sum of money, too, which would make this decision even more difficult.

Who are we to judge her choice when she sees returning to stripping for a few days as a way to care for her children? And who knows that we might not make the same choice if presented with it and in her situation?

And, perhaps, just perhaps, Suleman actually enjoys the attention and the acknowledgement of her worth even in a form that most people judge as wrong.

Should People Judge Octomom for Her Career Choices?

I commented yesterday on Celebrity Momster on the story that Nadya Suleman, Octomom, was becoming a stripper for a brief stint at a Florida strip joint.

Today, Celebs on Gather reports—Octomom Nadya Suleman Cancels Strip Club Gig; Why?

“According to a report from TMZ, Suleman's rep Gina Rodriguez told a TMZ reporter that a bartender from the club T's Lounge was interviewed about Suleman's upcoming appearance and was less than kind about her personal life.”

While that is true, the person interviewed didn’t say anything that hasn’t been said about Suleman before. I wonder if this is truly the reason she decided to cancel the gig. Maybe she had second thoughts or maybe she got a better offer.

Regardless, I hope that Suleman has made the best decision for herself for her own reasons, not for something someone else thought or judged about her decisions.

This story raises the question yet again—what does our society believe is okay for a mother to do or be? And do we as mothers agree with how society defines our roles as mothers?

Can a Porn Star Be a Good Mom?

20/20’s theme Friday was “True Confessions,” which wouldn’t be complete without an adult entertainer of some sort.

ABC News introduces us to Natalie Oliveros, mom to 10-year-old Luchino, who is a porn star know as Savanna Samson.

"My life means nothing without, without him," Oliveros said. "Everything that I've done in my life, all the choices I've made, will one day benefit him instead of being a shameful thing for him."

We also have “Octomom” Nadya Suleman in the news this week saying that she might consider doing porn in order to provide for her children: Octomom Nadya Suleman Reevaluates Porn.

So the question everyone’s discussing: Can an adult entertainer be a good mother?

Well, let’s take a look at what really matters—is the mother providing for her family, raising her children to be good people, and being true to herself?

If a mother can say yes to all these questions, then I don’t see what the problem is. Being an adult entertainer is a legal job. Yes, it’s a job that requires a level of openness with one’s sexuality that not all people have, but if the woman is not harming others, why should it matter?

"I'm just an entertainer, and this is how I choose to entertain," Oliveros said. "And, morally speaking, that's what's confusing about me, is that I do have morals. And yet, it's contradictory, I guess, by the industry I'm in."

We all have different morals and those morals even change over time. But that’s just it—they are our morals, no one else’s to decide for us.

As adults, we all have “secrets” we don’t come right out and share with our children when they are too young to understand. And if we’re parents, we’ve all pretty much probably had sex at some point in our lives. Sex and children kind of go hand-in-hand.

So to jump to the conclusion that just because someone has sex for money on film that they can’t be a good parent just doesn’t add up. To attach our own “values” surrounding sexuality and what it should look like is unfair.

We all make choices and yes, there may be repercussions for adult entertainers in the form of more explaining that needs to be done for our children. But in the long run, sexuality is a complicated issue no matter whether we are or have been strippers or porn stars or are just moms who have more traditional careers.