Performer Sexual Integrity

The Daily Mail has a thought-provoking article today: Now opera gets sexy: Singer who stripped down to a leopard-print leotard says performers SHOULD embrace their sexuality (just not 'desperate' Miley Cyrus) by Leon Watson.

@Alastair Muir

The opera performer Danielle de Niese who is appearing in Francesco Cavalli's bawdy opera La Calisto at the Bayerische Staatsoper in Munich, Germany, explains that her appearance in La Calisto is different from a performance like Miley’s.

“She claimed she only strips down when she has 'artistic integrity.'

 Cyrus, she says, is trying to 'break free from her previous image.’”

de Niese explains that she believes there is a difference to sexually charged performances that have to do with the purpose of the performance.

I agree heartily with the idea that it is important for women to embrace their sexuality and their own sexual identity. The purpose for performing in a sexual way or stripping down on stage can make the difference between something being seen as crass and desperate or beautiful and meaningful.

Of course, it is hard to read a person’s mind when they are performing. Yes, we might say Miley Cyrus’ performances seem to have to do with creating a new image, but who are we to say that is wrong?

Yes, it all may be a carefully crafted marketing strategy, but how do we know if she feels sexually liberated? Only the person behind the performance can really know if what they are doing has integrity or not.

I believe an opera singer and a pop singer may have artistic integrity in their sexually alive performances.

I find myself deeply exploring the idea of my own expressed-sexuality lately. After many years of turning my back on my stripper/nude model former self, I find myself wanting to return to the roots of that identity that really were supportive and empowering. I have focused so much on the negatives of stripping, I feel myself wanting to reconnect to myself as a “performer” and what that really means to me.

Kvon Photography

Who decides what is appropriate representation versus negative for each of us? I can only answer to my own thoughts about what is integrity-filled for me today.

I want to explore that performer part of myself again, but on my own terms this time.

Can Stripping Be Empowering?

A video segment I appeared in for Huffington Post has been posted on AOL Jobs, Can Strip Clubs Be Places Of Empowerment?

Watching it just made me realize how ANY place can be a place of empowerment, but sometimes only after the fact.

I didn't feel too empowered when men were belittling me back then, but I do feel empowered that I survived and managed to not be too bitter.

It's all in what we make of what happens in our lives...

Stripping Down: A Memoir - Free for Kindle!

Pink Fish Press is doing a special holiday giveaway of all their titles. 

If you don't have my memoir, Stripping Down, here's your chance to get it for free for Kindle! 

Here's a look at all the other great titles from Pink Fish Press!

Just head over to Amazon and they all can be yours for free!

TAKING FLIGHT

      by Adrian R. Magnuson  

Jeremy Walsh's parents assume he's been abducted by the elderly man he met on a cross-country flight, but it's the other way around.   

Share in the journey of two unlikely companions who meet in midair: 13-year-old Jeremy, sent against his will by his career-absorbed father to spend the summer with his bipolar mother in New York, and Harry Herndon, elderly, one-legged and afflicted with mid-stage Alzheimer's, who escapes the confinement of home for what may be his last adventure. Outcasts of sorts, they begin their cross-country getaway, trailed by Harry's wife and Jeremy's parents, each of whom threaten to cut their journey short. The story that follows is a race against time and circumstance as the two quickly bond over their mutual love of birding while experiencing the joys and growing pains of Taking Flight in their own, very different, ways.

STRIPPING DOWN

      by Sheila Hageman

"I feel the weight of the hammer from the dusty workbench in my sweaty palm and hit the padlock. My heart thumps in my bony chest. I listen for the humming sound of my mother's car backing into the driveway. I hit again. I listen. The lock pops open."  

At twelve years old, everything changed for Sheila with the discovery of her estranged father's porn collection. Found locked away in a corner of the basement, the glossy images ignite in her an unrelenting desire for attention and adoration. Now, reflections on her past as a stripper permeate her thoughts as she takes on the new roles of mother, caregiver and wife. While helping her baby daughter take her first steps, she nurses her mother through the final stages of breast cancer. This powerful and beautiful story is a moving meditation on a woman's life through her body, motherhood and loss.  

Spiraling through memories and torn between the woman she is becoming and the woman she has been, Sheila Hageman is continually Stripping Down.

THESE THINGS I KNOW

      by Jessica Karbowiak

Jessica Karbowiak's beautiful short stories and essays chronicle the narrator's growth from a space of victimization, to observer and ultimately redemption. Its theme of learning how to live in the world covers the author's own personal tragedies, historical accounts, surreal short stories on acceptance and self-worth and finally becoming whole—even as a damaged creature.  

The collection is gorgeous, challenging, peculiar and experimental. As much about the writing as the narrative, the author bends perception by lyrically manipulating her words and their meanings into a unique reading experience. These Things I Know is equal parts art piece, narrative and memoir, and will fill readers with a sense of wonder and hope as they turn each page.

NO ONE EVER ASKED ME THAT: Conversations on the Afterlife

      by Catherine Levison

What are the purposes of imagination? Catherine Levison was intrigued by topics like this from an early age. Seeking more meaningful conversations, she developed a series of questions to bypass small talk and enable others to speak comfortably on deep issues. Not only did her approach generate unforgettable conversations, it had a profound effect on those she spoke with. This book compiles interviews, held over the course of more than a decade with a diverse group of people, from monks, to teachers, to dish washers. The results are thought-provoking, often surprising and you will find yourself wondering why no one ever asked you that.

GUIDEBOOK FOR WORKING WITH SMALL INDEPENDENT PUBLISHERS

      By Terry Persun

There are only a handful of corporate publishers and literally thousands of independent presses. For authors looking to publish, the choices can be daunting. This guidebook explains the pros and cons of making the choice to work with small publishers, explains the independent press process, and offers a valuable sample marketing plan. With years of publishing experience, author Terry Persun helps navigate the world of small, independent publishers in this concise and illuminating guidebook.

Stripping Down for the Camera

Cameron Diaz from STV

 According to STV, Cameron Diaz enjoys stripping down and posing for the camera.

She told The Sunday Times newspaper: ''It's empowering. I'm not some young girl with the photographer going, 'Will you take your clothes off?' I'm like [mimes stripping], 'How does this look?'

That is an interesting difference to point out. As a former model, I do know that I felt more comfortable posing in the nude for some photographers than I did fully dressed for others. The sense of empowerment comes from doing what I felt comfortable with and what I felt empowered to do.

Do most women think it’s okay for other women or themselves to pose nude or in a provocative way as long as the woman feels empowered by it?

Diaz went on to explain ''I think every woman does want to be objectified. There's a little part of you at all times that hopes to be somewhat objectified, and I think it’s healthy.''

What do you think about what Diaz says? I’m not sure that I would agree that “every woman” wants to be objectified. I think I understand what she is trying to say though—that many women want to be seen as beautiful, which might be different than wanting to be objectified.

Is there a way for women to have it all when it comes to feeling beautiful for themselves and being objectified by men?

Can these two desires actually work together? Or are those two different ends that cannot meet?

Stripping Down #1 on Amazon for Free Kindle ebooks in Memoir

Image of Stripping Down Cover

Stripping Down is currently #21 in all free Kindle ebooks and #1 in memoir!

Thanks for your support everyone!

You can still download a free copy until Midnight!

Please download and let your friends know!

Meet-the-Author Event at Stratford Library

If you're going to be in the Fairfield County, CT, area next Wednesday, June 13th, stop by the Stratford Library for my meet-the-author event at 7 pm.

I'll be reading from Stripping Down: A Memoir and answering questions.

There will be books for purchase and autographs freely flowing!

I hope to see you there!

Stripping Down on CT Style

Here's my interview on WTNH channel 8's CT Style.

Enjoy!

Man and Woman Strip Down at Airport: One Gets Arrested; One Must be Mad

Thank you, Gothamist, for sharing the latest person willing to strip down in the name of, well, stripping down: Man Protests TSA Screening By Stripping Naked, Gets Arrested.

John Brennan took a stand against the TSA’s screening process by making it easier for the agents to see he meant no harm. Unfortunately for Brennan, his performance ended in his arrest for indecent exposure and disorderly conduct.

I find it interesting, as does Gothamist, that when a woman did the exact same thing last week at Denver International Airport, she was taken to a hospital for a mental health evaluation.

Brennan allegedly refused repeated orders to put his clothes on, and later told authorities he is a frequent flier who "disrobed as a form of protest against TSA screeners who he felt were harassing him." According to the Portland law enforcement report, "Mr. Brennan's actions caused two screening lanes to be closed and while some passengers covered their eyes and their children's eyes and moved away from the screening area, others stepped out of the screening lanes to look, laugh and take photos." 

So I’m just kind of curious what the differences were in these two strippers’ circumstances. Is it simply that a woman stripping down in public as a form of protest must be mad while a man doing the same must be a pervert?

And for all the hubbub about parents covering their children’s eyes I must ask—why? Haven’t kids seen plenty of naked humans before? It’s not like the naked people were involved in sexual acts. I would much rather my children see some naked protesters in real-life situations than airbrushed bikini models on magazine covers at the grocery store.

True Stripper Stories Wanted

The story of Texas journalist Sarah Tressler began when rival newspaper Houston Press’s writer Richard Connelly detailed Tressler’s two seemingly disparate careers—writing for the Houston Chronicle’s society pages about ladies who lunch and writing as the “Angry Stripper” about ladies who strip.

Tresslar allegedly “flaunted” her stripper money around the newsroom angering other journalists for risking the newspaper’s reputation if the truth came out.

Perhaps someone spilled her secret to end Tresslar’s display of wealth; unfortunately, the story breaking may have had an opposite effect than intended. Now Tresslar’s popularity has spread and you can be sure she’ll be penning the story she’s clearly wanted to write—but what is her story?

It seems the news has already written her story for her—Struggling journalist who was fired for stripping. But we should hesitate before we tie her life into a neat package for her.

I’ve lived my entire adult life having my story told for me, until I decided to write the real story.

I was a stripper for half-a-dozen years—from some run-down go-go bars in Connecticut to New York City’s top gentlemen’s clubs like Scores. And yes, I’m a writer, too. And after I quit stripping, I went on to graduate as my college’s valedictorian.

Just because a woman chooses at some point in her life to strip does not mean that is all she is. And while I agree the world doesn’t need just another “stripper story” as I had countless agents tell me, there’s often much more to the story that a stripper has to tell.

Part of the misconception about strippers who write is that often we are presented in just that one way; we become compartmentalized and shown to be only able to write about the stripping world and nothing else. Perhaps this is part of the surprise about Tresslar also writing about high society—she’s a stripper! How could she write about other issues not related to g-strings and lap dances?

Imagine people’s surprise when they discover I was a stripper and I had a 4.0 GPA! That’s some major cognitive dissonance going on there.

And while my memoir Stripping Down deals with memories of what made me the woman I am and the woman I had been through reflections on my past as a stripper, there was a larger intent in the writing. I revisited my topless past to discover and make sense of my relationship to my body and to challenge the meanings and definitions I created for myself.

I stripped down to what really mattered—health, time, and family. I wrote as I took on the new roles of mother, caregiver and wife. While helping my baby daughter take her first steps, I nursed my mother through the final stages of breast cancer, which triggered an exploration of female identity and body image.

I propose that every thinking stripper out there get to writing and start representing the stories that lie beneath the surface of strip bars and stilettos. And not just strippers. Any woman who has ever felt her story was already written for her should explore the truth of what it is to be a woman and the different roles we play.

Let’s share our stories with the world. Show that we are not all alike and cannot be so easily categorized and blamed.

ABC News Interview

Check out the interview with me on ABC News!

Book Promotion and Marketing

My days are so full right now.

I'm learning the ropes on the whole book promotion and marketing scene. I'm really enjoying the experience, but wow--it takes up a lot of time!

And the big news in my youngest's life is that he is all about climbing up the stairs by putting his feet down instead of his knees onto the steps. Major achievement!

The middle child saw a super hero comic in a cereal box and is now addicted to everything super hero. When he puts on his jammies at night he magically transforms into the super hero of the moment--Flash, Iron Man, or Spider Man.

And my oldest's teacher has been telling me how well she's been doing in school: taking charge, looking for extra work, and showing amazing self-confidence.

And life marches forward for me!

So, if you haven't had a chance to read Stripping Down yet, you can read a preview on Amazon.

Also, you can read reviews on Amazon and Goodreads!

Here's a link to a blog by Adrian Magnuson with a review of Stripping Down.

Interview at My Wild Skies

My editor at Pink Fish Press, Sarah Martinez, interviewed me for her Blog, My Wild Skies.

Check out her interview and please leave comments if you are so inclined!

Thank you for your support!

Stripping Down is Free Today for Kindle!

My memoir Stripping Down is available for free today and tomorrow for Kindle!

Please download a copy and enjoy!

I'd appreciate any reviews you could leave at Amazon or GoodReads!

Stripping Down: A Memoir - Now Available

Stripping Down is now available on Amazon, for the Kindle and for the Nook.

“I feel the weight of the hammer from the dusty workbench in my sweaty palm and hit the padlock. My heart thumps in my bony chest. I listen for the humming sound of my mother’s car backing into the driveway. I hit again. I listen. The lock pops open.”

At twelve years old, everything changed for Sheila with the discovery of her estranged father’s porn collection. Found locked away in a corner of the basement, the glossy images ignite in her an unrelenting desire for attention and adoration. Now, reflections on her past as a stripper permeate her thoughts as she takes on the new roles of mother, caregiver and wife. While helping her baby daughter take her first steps, she nurses her mother through the final stages of breast cancer. This powerful and beautiful story is a moving meditation on a woman’s life through her body, motherhood and loss.

Spiraling through memories and torn between the woman she is becoming and the woman she has been, Sheila Hageman is continually Stripping Down.

Advance Praise for Stripping Down:

“It removes the varnish from the surface of one woman’s life to see what dances below. This is not a romanticized tale of easy redemption—e.g. unhappy girl stripper becomes happy woman, yogini, and mother; rather, it takes you on a sincere and complicated journey—a long drive to the self.”

--Elena Georgiou

“I admit I didn't expect what I found in Hageman's beautiful prose. This is not another stripper memoir. It's a powerful meditation on the body, on family, and ultimately on self-love.”

-- Kerry Cohen, author of Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity

“Stripping Down is more than a tale of an ex-stripper. It’s an author’s exploration of her relationships, insecurities and decisions—however unsavory. With complete candor, Hageman reveals how she danced naked for money and adoration, her infidelities, mixed feelings about motherhood, and the toll her mother’s battle with breast cancer took on her. Hageman's story is told without pretense or excuse, allowing for a vulnerability and honesty rarely seen, resulting in her most courageous act of all-an emotional stripping.”

--Corbin Lewars, author of Creating a Life: The memoir of a writer and mom in the making

“Sheila Hageman's Stripping Down is that brilliant, impossible, difficult, and intensely satisfying book that tells the truth about the body–an enterprise, according to Virginia Woolf, that is well-nigh impossible. The province of womanhood and daughterhood, wellness and illness, concealment and exposure are examined with an intensity and honesty that's truly rare. A necessary and important book.”

--Louise DeSalvo Author of Writing as a Way of Healing