Can Stripping Be Empowering?

A video segment I appeared in for Huffington Post has been posted on AOL Jobs, Can Strip Clubs Be Places Of Empowerment?

Watching it just made me realize how ANY place can be a place of empowerment, but sometimes only after the fact.

I didn't feel too empowered when men were belittling me back then, but I do feel empowered that I survived and managed to not be too bitter.

It's all in what we make of what happens in our lives...

What if the stripping Columbia professor had been a woman?

There’s been a lot of buzz about a certain stripping down that happened at Columbia University; the story even made it to The Chronicle of Higher Education’s website: Columbia Freshmen Are Baffled by Physics Professor’s Stripped-Down Stunt by Charles Huckabee.

“First-year students in a “Frontiers of Science” course at Columbia University were shocked and confused on Monday when their professor, Emlyn Hughes, began what was to be a lecture on quantum physics by stripping to his shorts and changing clothes in front of them.”

After his performance, which included video footage of 9/11 and two people entering dressed in all black and stabbing at teddy bears with swords, Hughes states, "In order to learn quantum mechanics, you have to strip to your raw, erase all the garbage from your brain, and start over again."

Being an English major I have to admit I know nothing about quantum mechanics, but from what I can surmise, the professor was trying to shock and confuse students to prepare their minds for opening to what he was about to teach them.

I ‘m not surprised that so many people are balking at his teaching and thinking he’s just a loon and a liberal, but I would think the students would at least appreciate his creative approach.

Here’s a professor willing to look foolish to capture young minds’ interest. This is what lies at the heart of good teaching.

While I would probably never strip in front of a class because that would definitely be perceived differently if a woman did it and because of my background, I do silly things all the time to get the students’ interest (like singing in an opera voice to quiet the class down). It’s impossible to teach if you don’t have a student’s attention.

I am curious though how this dialogue would be different if the professor had been a woman. Would the stripping down and changing of clothes be thought of as more scandalous? Would she be accused of sexual harassment? Would she be accused of using her body to get what she wants? Would she be considered slutty and attention-seeking?

Stripping Down for the Camera

Cameron Diaz from STV

 According to STV, Cameron Diaz enjoys stripping down and posing for the camera.

She told The Sunday Times newspaper: ''It's empowering. I'm not some young girl with the photographer going, 'Will you take your clothes off?' I'm like [mimes stripping], 'How does this look?'

That is an interesting difference to point out. As a former model, I do know that I felt more comfortable posing in the nude for some photographers than I did fully dressed for others. The sense of empowerment comes from doing what I felt comfortable with and what I felt empowered to do.

Do most women think it’s okay for other women or themselves to pose nude or in a provocative way as long as the woman feels empowered by it?

Diaz went on to explain ''I think every woman does want to be objectified. There's a little part of you at all times that hopes to be somewhat objectified, and I think it’s healthy.''

What do you think about what Diaz says? I’m not sure that I would agree that “every woman” wants to be objectified. I think I understand what she is trying to say though—that many women want to be seen as beautiful, which might be different than wanting to be objectified.

Is there a way for women to have it all when it comes to feeling beautiful for themselves and being objectified by men?

Can these two desires actually work together? Or are those two different ends that cannot meet?

Living with Depression

Image of Sheila Hageman

Depression can be a very serious illness, which affects so many people in different ways.

I'm so relieved when I see depression being spoken about more openly in the news. The more we learn about depression and open the conversation to everyone, the more research and help will become available.

Here is my ireport for CNN on depression and how to live with depression we need to stop fighting it...

Read the story here...

Stripping as Art? Life as Art!

I had a fun interview with Thom Hartmann on The Big Picture about whether stripping is an art.

I absolutely think that stripping can be an art, I really do.

There were times when I would really get into character and feel incredibly sexy and beautiful and put on an amazing performance.

But there were other days, other stages, where I felt belittled and demeaned where I could barely move my body.

I do think stripping can be done as an art, just as anything can be actually.

Unfortunately, we're all so busy just trying to earn our salary and make a living that we often lose touch with approaching living itself as an art.

Life can be done as an art. That is what I strive for.

Why is Porn Seen as the Best Option for these Moms?

Perhaps because Mother’s Day is right around the corner, there are a lot of controversial moms in the news this week.

Another porn star/mother is Alana Evans, who appeared on Dr. Drew’s HLN show May 1st and was reported on the Huffington Post.

"Porn saved my life. It gave me a way to be with my son, to be with him every day after school," Evans said. "It gave me enough to take care of myself to take care of him, to pay our bills without being on welfare and stay off public assistance."

“Evans even came to the defense of "Octomom" Nadya Suleman, who shortly after filing bankruptcy, has reportedly signed on to star in a masturbation video for extra money.

"Any woman who's willing to do whatever she has to to take care of her children -- even if that means doing porn -- good for her," Evans said. "Other people may not agree with it, but ... in reality she is putting her kids first."”

I totally support women doing what they need to do to make ends meet as long as they feel good about what they are doing and not harming anyone.

Perhaps the big issue that isn’t being addressed is that porn is the best option these women see for themselves as a way to make enough money to support their kids and spend time with them.

Why is that? Why are there not better options for working mothers?

But I'm Going to Be a Doctor One Day!

Gawker explains Stripping To Pay Your Way Through Med School Definitively A Real Thing.

“ABC News points us to an editorial that claims nearly 10% of medical students in the UK, up from 6% in 2006, know someone who has participated in sex work in an effort to pay off the rising cost of medical school...

Past surveys have noted that pole and lap dancing are the most popular type of sex work of which students participate. Stripping is second and prostitution came third, according to the report.”

So where do people really stand on this issue?

Do you think it’s more permissible to be a stripper if a woman is using the money for a greater good?

I mean, if a woman is using her dollar bills to become a doctor, does that make it more acceptable than if she is just partying away her bills?

Stripping as a Feminst Act

Please check out Great Debates, which is a new platform, where Huffington Post pits two expert bloggers against one another to tackle some of today's most pressing issues.

In their first Great Debate, Can Stripping Ever Be Feminist?, stripper-turned-author Sheila Hageman blogs that you can take your clothes off for men and still be a feminist, whilst women's rights campaigner Navprit Rai insists stripping can never be a feminist statement.

Should Breastfeeding Photos Be Kept Private?

Cafe Mom’s April Peveteaux asks: Why Are You Posting Breastfeeding Photos on Facebook, Anyway?

Her feelings are that while breastfeeding is wonderful and all, it should be all about baby and not about mom and her needs.

“Breastfeeding is an intimate act, so why are you sharing it online? I get it if you're a website dedicated to showing women the positive aspects of breastfeeding, and promoting the normalcy so we can all get over our hang-ups. But as an everyday mom just trying to feed your baby, why would you want to take your picture and post it? Breastfeeding is very personal, between you and your baby. Not you and your 3,000 Facebook friends. You don't post pictures of you and your partner in an intimate embrace, do you? And if you do, why in the world would you do that?

That's called over-sharing, people, and it's no wonder your friends get annoyed. Just like you don't want to see a picture of your FB friend in her bikini, maybe she feels weird about seeing your naked breast. (Note, if either of these scenarios is popping up because you're somewhere in public and a group photo is being taken -- all bets are off. I'm talking about posed, on purpose, intimate photos. There's a huge difference.)”

Hmm...I get what the writer is saying, but I think I kind of disagree.

Yes, breastfeeding is about providing the best for one’s baby, but there are obviously a lot of other emotions and issues attached to it for the mother.

And while nursing is an “intimate” act in one sense, it’s also just about eating. Why wouldn’t I post a photo of my child eating?

A lot of mothers may feel the need to also make a stand for the mothers who feel shamed about nursing and posting pics in a public forum can be a show of support, a way of saying—Hey! Look! I’m nursing and there’s nothing wrong about it!

And the thing I just don’t get is that people seem to think that when moms nurse that they’re sitting there with their shirt off giving a show. I’ve never seen a mother just letting it all hang out in public. When a baby is nursing, most of the breast is hidden.

All this controversy over nursing though, with moms being accused of being like strippers for nursing in public though...it’s making me want to show the difference to the world!

Do a little striptease in public and then nurse my baby. The world would see the difference!

Stripping Down: A Memoir - Now Available

Stripping Down is now available on Amazon, for the Kindle and for the Nook.

“I feel the weight of the hammer from the dusty workbench in my sweaty palm and hit the padlock. My heart thumps in my bony chest. I listen for the humming sound of my mother’s car backing into the driveway. I hit again. I listen. The lock pops open.”

At twelve years old, everything changed for Sheila with the discovery of her estranged father’s porn collection. Found locked away in a corner of the basement, the glossy images ignite in her an unrelenting desire for attention and adoration. Now, reflections on her past as a stripper permeate her thoughts as she takes on the new roles of mother, caregiver and wife. While helping her baby daughter take her first steps, she nurses her mother through the final stages of breast cancer. This powerful and beautiful story is a moving meditation on a woman’s life through her body, motherhood and loss.

Spiraling through memories and torn between the woman she is becoming and the woman she has been, Sheila Hageman is continually Stripping Down.

Advance Praise for Stripping Down:

“It removes the varnish from the surface of one woman’s life to see what dances below. This is not a romanticized tale of easy redemption—e.g. unhappy girl stripper becomes happy woman, yogini, and mother; rather, it takes you on a sincere and complicated journey—a long drive to the self.”

--Elena Georgiou

“I admit I didn't expect what I found in Hageman's beautiful prose. This is not another stripper memoir. It's a powerful meditation on the body, on family, and ultimately on self-love.”

-- Kerry Cohen, author of Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity

“Stripping Down is more than a tale of an ex-stripper. It’s an author’s exploration of her relationships, insecurities and decisions—however unsavory. With complete candor, Hageman reveals how she danced naked for money and adoration, her infidelities, mixed feelings about motherhood, and the toll her mother’s battle with breast cancer took on her. Hageman's story is told without pretense or excuse, allowing for a vulnerability and honesty rarely seen, resulting in her most courageous act of all-an emotional stripping.”

--Corbin Lewars, author of Creating a Life: The memoir of a writer and mom in the making

“Sheila Hageman's Stripping Down is that brilliant, impossible, difficult, and intensely satisfying book that tells the truth about the body–an enterprise, according to Virginia Woolf, that is well-nigh impossible. The province of womanhood and daughterhood, wellness and illness, concealment and exposure are examined with an intensity and honesty that's truly rare. A necessary and important book.”

--Louise DeSalvo Author of Writing as a Way of Healing

Can You Spell E-x-h-i-b-i-t-i-o-n-i-s-t?!

John Semley from AV Club Toronto exposes the latest stripping niche—spelling and stripping!


I give you the Toronto Strip Spelling Bee created by Montreal author Sherwin Sullivan Tjia.

This competitive event that happens whenever the author feels like it sounds like an event I could really get behind (a little tushie joke there!). It’s such an interesting mix of sexy and smart.

Tija explains in the interview that some of the people who attend are exhibitionists, but there are others who just need a little prodding to have fun. And it’s all in good sport—people only strip down to their underwear.

I love the concept of nudging people into fun. This is how Tija describes it:

“What I’ve discovered is that there are people that want to show their bodies to the world. But if you ever told them to do a striptease, they would say, “No.” They’d feel vain, or that people would judge them. But within the framework of a spelling bee, where you’re forced to do this when you get a word wrong, but they’re also orchestrating it—it’s like ... I went to art school because I didn’t have the discipline to be self-propelling at the time. Sometimes you need people to crack the whip, to get you to do the things you really want to do.”

And my favorite part? Usually when the still-clothed winner comes to collect their trophy, they usually strip down anyway.