Her Body is Not Your Business

It’s understandable why someone might actually be concerned for another human being’s health when they see someone extremely skinny or obese.

But regardless if a person falls into either of these categories, there’s never an excuse to chastise them or make rude comments.

We’re extremely familiar with fat-shaming, but there’s also skinny-shaming, as model Genevieve Barker would have us be aware of.

It’s never okay to say “Eat a burger” or call someone a derogatory name based on their body size.

Genevieve also argued against the notion that skinny-shaming is considered "empowering," since those that do so believe they are "speaking out for 'real women.'" 

"I am thin, I am a real woman!" she added.

Keep in mind that you don’t know if that person you are looking at does have an eating disorder or not. An eating disorder can affect any body, any age, any size, any gender.

If they do have an eating problem, then being ridiculed about their body may in fact trigger or worsen that issue.

The best thing to do when you see someone that you feel the urge to say something to about their size is ask yourself if it’s your place.

If it’s a friend or family member whom you are concerned about, you’re certainly not going to make snide remarks, you’re going to show concern and love.

If it’s a photo you saw on Instagram, it’s probably best to follow the age-old adage: If you don’t have anything nice to say…

Supermodels Have Troubled Body Images, Too

What are mere humans supposed to feel when even supermodels have body image issues?

According to Elle, model Cara Delevingne has left the fashion building!

Getty via Elle

Now, if the modeling business is making a supermodel (who makes millions and can pick and choose her jobs and be waited on hand and foot) rethink her occupation because of how it makes her feel, the public should maybe question how damaging modeling can be.

Modeling just made me feel a bit hollow after a while. It didn't make me grow at all as a human being. And I kind of forgot how young I was…I felt so old.

So it’s great that Delvingne is moving on and speaking out about the issue.

People magazine quotes Delvingne, "It is a mental thing as well because if you hate yourself and your body and the way you look, it just gets worse and worse.” 

Do you think she is sincere in speaking about these body image issues? Or is she just saying what the media likes to hear for a good soundbite?

What Makes Us Different, Makes Us Beautiful

Rachelle Friedman Chapman, 29, who was paralyzed at her bridal shower when she was playfully pushed into a pool, has stripped down for the cameras: Bride who was paralyzed at her bachelorette party strips down to just her lingerie and her catheter for powerful photoshoot she hopes will 'put a different face to disability.' 

What makes this photoshoot even more powerful besides the fact that she stripped down to lingerie is that she also showed her catheter.

I'm hoping it will inspire others to just focus on the things they love about themselves and not be so critical. I'm encouraging everyone to get on social media and mention something they love about themselves with the hashtag #WhatMakesMeSexy.

We all have something we want to hide or have just accepted as what we need to hide in order to appear “normal” in our society.

We all really want to be accepted and loved just as we are. It is totally human nature to want to receive that validation from others.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to accept what we see as our flaws, but we just need to keep working at it. 

I want to put a different face to disability. We all have flaws [and] we all have things going for us, and for the first time I'm not hiding my catheter. I'm not hiding anymore.

 To not have to hide ever again—what a blessing that would be.

My butt: The beauty of the before and after

Goodness, there has been an awful lot of stripping down going on lately by mothers. From the Dutch model Lara Stone, who posed nude post-baby for System Magazine, to Kim Kardashian’s greased up Paper cover, there is definitely no longer a need to pay for a Playboy subscription.

The Daily Mail UK says Kardashian explains, “As a role model I'm not saying anyone else should do that, but for me it was an art project and it taught me to do what you want to do.”

You can’t argue that point; it is good to feel empowered enough to act on your own desires and to not be shamed by others’ morals.

I used to do just that.

Before: Back in my modeling days

Then I got older and--wiser? I hid my body away. I covered up. I got more conservative as befits a mother, or so I thought.

And I lost some of my sense of self. I lost some sense of myself as a beautiful, sexual woman. I lost connection to a certain part of myself.

I've watched with interest as celebrities and everyday women claim empowerment through posing nude; it's made me ponder my stance and realize where I stand.

This past week, I've seen the expected parodies and responses to Kim Kardashian's butt: Chelsea Handler has been doing her own selfie-versions as part of the conversation and there’s even a Princess Jasmine version of the butt shot.

This whole posing-in-the-nude-to-make-some-point just might be getting oversaturated.

Of course, maybe that could be part of some kind of solution to how women are portrayed in media. If we see everybody and their mother (literally) in the nude, maybe we’ll get to the point as a culture where we’ll say, who cares?

Maybe we’ll get to the point where nobody will say, “Oh! But you’re a mother! You shouldn’t pose nude!”

After: 23 years and three children later

Maybe we’ll get to the point where we really will get to see the diversity and beauty in all different shapes and sizes and ages of bodies.

Maybe we’ll get to the point where every nude image of a woman doesn’t have to be sexualized and presented for a male gaze, but can just be a photo of a female celebrating her body.

Maybe we’ll get to the point where what we choose to do or not do with our bodies will be our decisions to make alone and no one will judge us for those decisions.

And hey, maybe the fathers will get in on the act, too. And we can all live in a happy-ever-after world with lots of different naked people all getting along and loving each other regardless of how perfect (or not) our bodies are.

Model Poses in Sandy's Destruction

Do people have no shame anymore when it comes to publicity?

Wait...this doesn't surprise me at all.

Publicity is all about doing something that gets attention. Model Nana Gouvêa got attention. Posing amid Sandy's destruction.

I like the Internet Memes that have sprung up showing Gouvêa inserted into different tragedies.

Alas, that just gives her more free publicity, which is probably what this was all about.

If this had been done in the name of Art (with a capital"A"), would it have made a difference?

Perhaps if there was a vision or a message being sent, I would think, yes.

What do you think? Can and should Art be made from devastation?

Living with Depression

Image of Sheila Hageman

Depression can be a very serious illness, which affects so many people in different ways.

I'm so relieved when I see depression being spoken about more openly in the news. The more we learn about depression and open the conversation to everyone, the more research and help will become available.

Here is my ireport for CNN on depression and how to live with depression we need to stop fighting it...

Read the story here...

Kate Upton's Body

I must be asleep at the proverbial who’s who in the modeling world wheel because when I kept seeing the latest Kate Upton is Fat headlines going by I had no idea who she was.

Today one headline from Fox News caught my attention enough to click through: Kate Upton blasts critics: 'I'm not going to starve just tobe thin.'

Oh! I said to myself—they’re talking about that woman from the Sports Illustrated cover.

Wait a minute…someone called her lardy?!

Skinny Gossip, a pro-skinny website, thinks she’s fat!

“Look, I’ll admit – I love In’n’Out as much as the next gurl, but it’s not supposed to be an everyday thing, Kate! And we can be sure that Kate is the rare model who poses with food – and then actually devours it. 

She doesn’t just look vulgar – she’s also never afraid to act the part…she is easily the most “porny” model to enter the mainstream in a very long time. She looks like she would work in the back of a motorcycle shop in Nashville and give (bad) blow jobs for $25.”

Wow. I know about the pro-anorexia sites out there that put super-skinny models and actresses and models on pedestals as beacons of what women should strive to be, but I didn’t know they also bashed fuller-figured ones as well.

And I say fuller-figured with a bit of a suppressed chuckle because we all know that Upton is by no means fat or full-figured even, she is voluptuous, which is quite different.

I’m glad that Upton laughed off the comments: “I’m not going to starve just to be thin. I want to enjoy life, and I can’t if I’m not eating and miserable," she said, according to The Sun.

But really, if there are women out there who would call a SI model “well-marbled,” what image of an ideal body type do they have in mind? Are we so used to seeing sickly-skinny models that one with a teensy bit of flesh is considered fat?

Israel Bans Underweight Models

Israel has made a bold statement to the world by banning underweight models.

Hopefully, this will be the start of more awareness being brought to the destructive world of modeling--not only for the models themselves, but for the young girls who wish to emulate them.

I think Israel has taken an amazing step in the right direction for all women.

Please check out my Huffington Post blog to read more!

Victoria’s Secret Model Kylie Bisutti Puts Her Clothes On

From The Hollywood Gossip:

“Kylie Bisutti, a Victoria's Secret lingerie model, recently quit that job because it conflicted with her hardcore Christian beliefs, and to save her body for her husband.

She will still model, but only in ways that honor the Lord.”

Bisutti was discovered at nineteen in a Victoria’s Secret modeling contest and has since modeled for them.

Kylie Bisutti was interviewed on Good Morning America where she talked about her epiphany when her 8-year-old cousin was watching her.

"I was doing my makeup in the mirror one day and she was watching me… She just looked at me and she was like, 'I think I want to stop eating so I can look like you.'"

"I didn't want to be that type of person that she thought she had to do that. Thousands of girls that think beauty is an outer issue, and really it's a heart issue."

Most comments have been positive for supporting Bisutti’s choice. There have been a few people who can’t understand why it took her so long to see the light. But we never know when we are going to change our minds about things like this.

I think it’s a strong message that lets women know it’s okay to do one thing and realize later you can change; we are always evolving.

"I'm definitely going to pursue modeling," she said. "I just want to be more wholesome and the jobs that I choose are always going to be honoring the Lord."

I do wonder about how Bisutti will determine what jobs will be “honoring the Lord.” Is modeling in any way honorable? She will still be representing an image to young women about the importance of external beauty even if she has more clothes on.

How do you feel? Do you think it’s acceptable and healthy to be a model as long as you’re wearing clothes? Is there really a difference?