Body Positive and Proud

Big Gal Yoga shows that anyone, any size, can practice yoga and even be flexible.

Valerie discovered yoga the same way I did, in a college class.

She was hooked.

And now, she shares photos of herself and her body positive message to encourage everyone to practice yoga, no matter what body type they may have.

She exudes a serene vibe and I feel like she really believes her message.

Another woman encouraging us with her body positive and breaking expectations style is Molly Soda, an artist sharing photos of what she looks like in what some might say are unflattering circumstances.

Soda is shattering the selfie expectation, which is usually of women trying to look their very best, by showing the parts of her that many women try to hide, like body hair and an unmade-up face.

The more women who share their “truths,” the more we will all feel more comfortable to embrace and share our own realities without distortion.

Plastic Surgery as the Golden Ticket

In certain circles, it's totally normal to get lip-fillers and Botox even before one has graduated out of one's teens.

I remember meeting a young woman in her early twenties who was flabbergasted that I had not had anything done, what with me being in my forties and all.

She explained that everyone, everyone, she knew had at least Botox done.

Granted, she was a stylist's daughter and lived in New York City and worked in the fashion industry, but still...everyone.

Jezebel points us to Kylie Jenner's website today, but saves us from having to pay to receive the information promised by this title: My feelings on plastic surgery: The Whole Truth.

The gist of it--yup, she'd done lip fillers before she was eighteen.

And now, the whole truth part about how she feels about the possibility of plastic surgery: "Never say never."

So basically, she hasn't gone under the knife yet, but she's self-aware enough to recognize the world she lives in and the person she is and that, hey, you know, "Never say never."

Oh, and her website, is going to teach us how to look good without plastic surgery, but, you know...never say never.

My brain hurts a little bit.

Those are some #thighbrows you have there

No more #thighgaps or #bikinibridges or #thighbrows, please.

In case you're wondering, the photo above demonstrates the "thighbrow." See that little crease where the thigh kind of folds and makes a...brow?

You're welcome.

It's amazing the ridiculousness of some of these body fads or trends or stupid photos that have been appearing as "thinspiration" or even some of them as "body positive."

We do not need anymore; thank you very much.

Unless you can think up something even sillier than #thighbrow.

A Three Baby Belly Looks Like This

Lena Dunham, actress, writer and director extraordinaire, has created a hashtag for people to share their “beautiful lonesome photos”: #beautifullylonesome.

I know that I should celebrate my motherhood belly "stripes," but it is an ongoing process. #beautifullylonesome #strippingdown #nofilter @lennyletter @lenadunham

A photo posted by Sheila Hageman (@sheilamhageman) on Aug 20, 2015 at 7:09pm PDT

She has long been a positive body image supporter and has no fear of exposing herself through her art.

Dunham is also beginning a newsletter called Lenny, which will include stories from a feminist slant.

Tag @lennyletter & me in YOUR beautifully lonesome pics please and we'll share some standouts on @lennyletter's insta...#beautifullylonesome

What does #beautifullylonesome mean exactly?

It could be so many different things—even for those of us surrounded by loving family and friends, we all feel lonely sometimes.

@LenaDunham

To be able to find the beauty within that loneliness, within a sadness that can strip us away from the things we love, can be a challenge on most days. But we need to keep trying.

To be able to look at ourselves boldly, naked and without regrets or apologies, is freedom.

We can strip down, see others’ beauty, and hopefully, eventually, see ours as well.

I’m still trying to come to terms with my three-baby belly. I feel ashamed of its wonkiness on my bad days, guilty for not loving myself more completely on my better days.

I know that I should celebrate my “stripes” that I have earned, and I know that my body brought three little humans into this world, but I still can’t help feeling the way I do.

I can simply keep trying, everyday, to accept and love myself a little more.

BuzzFeed Staffers Face Their Body Fears Head On

A lot of women have browsed through a Victoria’s Secret catalog and felt less than stellar about themselves.

We know. We talk about it. We write about it.

We don’t often talk about how men feel when seeing a Calvin Klein ad though.

Leave it to the BuzzFeed staff to face these issues square in the body.

After the BuzzFeed female staffers posed for We Tried On Victoria’s Secret Bathing Suits And This Is What Happened, the men got in on the act with We Re-Created Famous Calvin Klein Underwear Ads And This Is What Happened.

While reading the comments the ladies made, I really felt the women were being honest and I felt they were really looking at the experience.

Nina said:

Honestly, I wish we could go back to wearing old-timey full-coverage swimsuits. I also have fairly large boobs and it’s really hard to find a suit that lets me move around and NOT flash people. I assumed these models just got made up, put on the swimsuit, struck a pose and got the shot. Easy. But it wasn’t easy. The sand was really hard and hurt my knees. It was freaking cold that day and I did not want to wet my hair in the ice water of the Pacific. I struggled to make my body even somewhat resemble the model’s, no matter how much I sucked in. 

Looking at these models was just a constant reminder that never in my adult life have I been that skinny or white, so I can’t pretend that I relate. It sucks because there are different ways to represent “bikini bodies” and beauty in general, but we’re force-fed one image. I wish I could see someone like me in a magazine, but I’m still waiting.

While I want to believe the men are speaking honestly, there was more of a level of snark like this was all just a big joke.

Logan said: 

Almost every single male underwear model looks like he was sculpted by someone trying to create the ideal man. The funny thing is, when I look at these ads, I don’t even notice the underwear. It’s just more like, damn. How do you get that ripped? 

The confidence behind my pose was certainly tough to fake. I had a fairly “natural” pose, but a thousand questions popped into my head while I was doing it: How do my arms look? Do I have that line in my stomach? Can you see my flat butt from this angle? How’s my package lookin’? WHAT DO I DO WITH MY FACE? I was really afraid that my arms would look scrawny, my legs would look really white, and my stomach would be…awkward. 

A great way to feel insecure is to compare your body to that of an underwear model. Or to anyone else, for that matter. You just have to learn to appreciate your own body, which is tough, but necessary. I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way.

But, of course, for the women, the Victoria’s Secret brand is much more of a presence in their lives than the Calvin Klein ads are for the men.

Because it’s not just VS that can seemingly taunt women with high expectations of what it means to look like a woman—it’s every magazine on the grocery store stands, it’s every newsstand, it’s every billboard. It’s the culture.

For men, it’s much more—once in a blue moon. So it’s more of a joke. It’s more of a humorous exercise in imagining what it would feel like to really feel the need to look like one of those men.

But they know at the end of the day, it’s all just a joke. Men have not been ingrained to compute their value or their worth based on their looks.

Photography Projects Embrace Diverse Bodies and Truths

Bodies have always been seen as artful and beautiful. They have also been seen as canvasses for the stories we have to tell. And now, with such amazing technology available to many, we are seeing and hearing stories that we didn’t hear before.

For example, I am loving the abundance of photographers taking photographs of mothers pre and post baby.

There will never be too many.

Let these photos of moms celebrating their bodies become as commonplace as models in bikinis on magazine covers in supermarkets.

The latest project I learned about is Divine Mothering by photographer Liliana Taboas Cruz.

Cruz’s photos of mothers on her blog also include interviews with her models, which allow the viewer to put a personality and story to the images.

Two other photographers, Paula Akpan and Harriet Evans, use models of differing body types, genders and race to express the different ideas and stereotypes that people are tired of hearing in the "I'm Tired" project.

The mission of this project is “to highlight the significance and lasting impact of everyday micro-aggressions and stereotypes.”

Art is all around us now. Images and stories flood our virtual lives.

Artists are taking advantage of the possibilities to address social issues and reach audiences all over the world.

Each project spawns the artist in others. Each celebration of diversity allows the next generation to feel more vocal and capable of telling their own truths and stories.

We are moms and these are our bodies

Mum Photographs Women's Bodies Pre- And Post-Birth To Paint An 'Honest Picture Of Motherhood' on The Huffington Post UK by Amy Packham introduces readers to photographer Natalie McCain.

She captures mothers in all their body glory in The Honest Body Project. These women radiate out true beauty and power.

"I want to help other mums come to this realisation and change their inner voice to self love. When you change your inner voice, your entire world changes."

How wonderful to be able to help other women celebrate and appreciate their bodies just as they are.

Fat is just a word

I guess I have more work to do.

My six-year-old son just walked up behind me writing this post and when he saw these photos he said, “Oh my gosh! That woman is so fat, her fat is coming out of her shirt.”

“That’s not nice to say, that someone is so fat,” I said.

And he looked at me quizzically.

I’m sitting here wondering what is correct.

I don’t want my children to just be politically correct and feel like they can’t speak of what they see and use words that they know.

Fat isn’t inherently a bad word.

And that seems to be partly what Brazilian photographer Miarana Godoy is saying with her photos of large-sized women in lingerie.

Women reclaim the word 'fat' in Empowering Me body positive photo series details Godoy’s project: “The photographer went on to explain that she wanted to highlight that being fat doesn't mean a person is unhealthy, and pointed out that thinner people also experience health problems.”

You can't tell if someone is healthy by looking at them. Regardless of whether they are fat or thin. You cannot tell just by looking at them.

Photos can tell any story. The real story lies behind the images. In our lives. And whether we are healthy or not should not become some new standard to self-acceptance either.

We don't want to lose one way to judge ourselves simply to be replaced by another.

We need to love ourselves no matter what. Fat. Skinny. Healthy. Unhealthy.

And while I know my son would never say something to someone’s face about being “fat,” I want to make sure he knows that a person’s size has nothing to do with his or her worth.

Team Flappy Arm

Thank you, Jezebel, for Women Are Still Wondering If It’s OK to Show Arm Flab in the Summer by Tracy Moore.

#TeamFlappyArm

A photo posted by Sheila Hageman (@sheilamhageman) on Aug 5, 2015 at 5:37am PDT

I wish I could say I read her essay and shook my head and said to myself, Oh no! Don’t women know they don’t need to worry about these thing anymore!

But instead I read with that distinctive sensation of knowing I could have written those same words.

In fact, when I read:

And this, I think, it was bugs me more about advice to women to control their bodies and image for others pleasure or approval. The way women are burdened not only with looking good, with eradicating all signs of wear and tear, but also the burden of not making the world unpleasant for others by looking bad. Who suffers when a jiggly arm waves goodbye? Who suffers at the sight of a varicose vein or an untoned thigh? Who really suffers?

I actually raised my arm and waved to see if I could feel that flabby swing.

I quickly lowered my arm as I imagined a stupid social media beauty challenge beginning—a video of yourself waving that proves your arm doesn’t flap: #ArmNoFlappy. I would be #TeamFlappyArm.

And I also know that feeling, though I hate to admit it, of wanting to protect others from me. I know that feeling of not wanting to gross out others by my “unfeminine” qualities.

Like—I better cover up my butt and belly with a towel as soon as I step out of the pool, so as to not make anyone feel uncomfortable with my less than model-perfect abs and ass.

How sad for me that I cannot completely break free of the need to either look a certain way or at least hide myself if I don’t measure up to the standard.

It’s so ingrained. No need for anyone else to body shame me.

I body shame myself.

Knocking Out Body-Shaming

Ronda Rousey, the undefeated UFC Women's Bantamweight Champion, makes a stand against body-shamers. People Magazine reports UFC Champ Ronda Rousey Is Putting the Body-Shamers to Shame –Again.

Some online commentators feel the need to point out that they find Rousey too masculine-looking. We’ve got echoes of the body shaming Serena Williams went through this month. Williams hit back with a bikini shot where she looked anything but masculine.

Rousey explains her attitude her body in an interview:

I grew up thinking that because my body type was common [i.e., athletic], it was a bad thing…Now that I'm older, I've really begun to realize that my body has developed for a purpose and not just to be looked at.

Perhaps if we instill this sense of what our bodies can do rather than what they can look like into young girls, we’ll have a new breed of young women rising up.

Who are you calling fat?

Do you feel angry when a thin woman whines, “I’m so fat!”?

Probably, if you think she’s just looking for some praise about how great she really looks.

If you thought that woman might have an eating disorder or body dysmorphic disorder, you’d probably feel compelled to reassure her that she looked good.

Now, how about if someone called you fat?

How would that make you feel? What would be your reaction?

Comedian Chelsea Handler opened up about her experience in: 'He told me I was fat': Chelsea Handler proudly poses in a mismatched bikini as she reveals ex criticized her figure.

I love Handler’s response: "You know, I had a boyfriend who told me my boobs were too big and that I was fat. And then, I looked in the mirror."

She’s become well-known for her love of posting topless shots on Instagram and other social media.

What was most interesting at Daily Mail were the responses to the Handler article. A long series of misogynistic, body-shaming crap…

Not a bad bod but whenever she opens her mouth she ruins it.

Fishing for compliments on social media again I see.

and your ex was right, you still look chubby

Not interested in her at all!

I think she is generally un appealing due to her personality and face. Her body is very average.

She appears to be a healthy weight to me. But this is really about her needing public affirmation so she can feel good about herself.

It is astonishing how the Internet makes people feel so bold as to say the most ignorant comments. I would love to see those same commentators say any of those things to Handler’s face.

I’m sure she’d have a witty response at the ready.

How have you reacted when someone called you fat? Please share!

@MailOnline @chelseahandler #BodyPositive #Fat

What Makes Us Different, Makes Us Beautiful

Rachelle Friedman Chapman, 29, who was paralyzed at her bridal shower when she was playfully pushed into a pool, has stripped down for the cameras: Bride who was paralyzed at her bachelorette party strips down to just her lingerie and her catheter for powerful photoshoot she hopes will 'put a different face to disability.' 

What makes this photoshoot even more powerful besides the fact that she stripped down to lingerie is that she also showed her catheter.

I'm hoping it will inspire others to just focus on the things they love about themselves and not be so critical. I'm encouraging everyone to get on social media and mention something they love about themselves with the hashtag #WhatMakesMeSexy.

We all have something we want to hide or have just accepted as what we need to hide in order to appear “normal” in our society.

We all really want to be accepted and loved just as we are. It is totally human nature to want to receive that validation from others.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to accept what we see as our flaws, but we just need to keep working at it. 

I want to put a different face to disability. We all have flaws [and] we all have things going for us, and for the first time I'm not hiding my catheter. I'm not hiding anymore.

 To not have to hide ever again—what a blessing that would be.

Healthy (and Unhealthy) Bodies Come in All Sizes

Lena Dunham is receiving kudos for sharing a paparazzi photo of her running for an episode of Girls on Instagram. 

She’s makeup free and proudly running. She said:

Not usually one to post a paparazzi shot but this fills me with pride. Basically my whole life I have hated running and run like a wounded baby Pterodactyl. It was embarrassing and honestly I did not trust myself to escape a burning building or even move briskly towards a buffet. @jennikonner is directing the season finale of Girls and decided that as Hannah evolved so would her run, so she got me a training session with Matt Wilpers from Mile High Run Club. Within an hour I had a different relationship to this formerly torturous activity. I felt strong, swift and proud. I'm not about to embrace that triathlon life but it's a true joy to continue getting more connected to my body and its powers. (Extra motivation provided by @manrepeller for @outdoorvoices.) #moveforyourmind

The reason people are praising the shot is because she’s not a waif, but is happily jogging along in exercise wear that proudly displays her body.

Much like the image of plus-size model Erica Schenk that appeared on the August cover of Women’s Running and has been touted for showing that a heavier-set woman can still be fit.

Proudly displaying women of all sizes exercising can go a long way in allowing women who have a myriad of body types feel more comfortable and “allowed” to put on their exercise duds and get out there and moving.

It also goes to show that just because someone is heavier, it doesn’t mean they aren’t healthy.

Of course, the opposite is true. Just because someone is thin, it sure as heck doesn’t mean they could even run for the bus. Take me for instance, I’m relatively thin right now, but seriously out-of-shape.

Perhaps I should post a photo of me in exercise gear huffing and puffing?

3 Body Positive Tips for Talking to Your Kids

Actress Kate Winslet is a body-positive advocate. In Us Weekly’s Kate Winslet: No Women in My Life Were Positive About Body Image, It Was "Very Damaging," readers learn that she felt she never received positive messages as a child.

When I grew up, I never heard positive reinforcement about body image from any female in my life…I only heard negatives. That’s very damaging, because then you’re programmed as a young woman to immediately scrutinize yourself and how you look.

Winslet is being careful to only pass on positive body image messages to her children, which is what I try to do.

USWeekly.com

Here are a few tips on how to speak to your kids about body image from the very start:

1. Don’t be afraid to let your kids see your body naked. If the media keeps showing highly-polished versions of humans for the public’s consumption, we need to make sure kids see what un-photoshopped bodies look like, too, so they grow up with healthy expectations of what different bodies look like.

2. Don’t focus on what your kids look like. Especially with my daughter, I was hyper-vigilant that other people and I didn’t focus on her looks when we complimented her. I still do the same thing, for my boys also. I focus most often on my kids’ personal achievements and positive attributes like intelligence, being a kind person and doing good in the world.

3. Don’t ignore body image issues as they arise. I’m always looking for teachable moments: when my daughter was young and commented on her Wonder Woman figurine’s overly-ample-sized bosom, I talked about how not all women look like that. We talked about how it made her feel and that we need to be aware that what is presented to us as a body “ideal” is not always realistic or attainable.

Always trust your gut when speaking to your kids and try to be as honest as possible while encouraging positive body imagery for your kids.

Body Image Talk is Great, But How Much Better When We (Hopefully) Don’t Need to Do It Anymore

I am all for positive body image and helping others feel good about themselves no matter how they look.

On a good day, I can totally rock that feeling myself.

But on bad days, I curse my wrinkly belly and flabby butt. Like Eva Longoria, I want my twenty-year-old body back.

Photo of Eva Longoria via mysanantonio.com

Not my twenty-year-old life—just the body.

Then I feel guilty for not just loving myself as is, then the guilt multiplies and becomes anger.

I’m happy to see so many actresses and other celebrity people being honest in the news.

File under “Women who get it”: Patricia Arquette: There's more to women than looks in the Belfast Telegraph.

Photo of Patricia Arquette via belfasttelegraph.co.uk/

Arquette articulates this issue well:

I don't want to do anything to my face. But I also reserve the right to do that if I choose to, you know? And without apologising to a million strangers, because even having a conversation about, 'You don't look natural, you did something weird to your face,' we are making it about the way women look…It's none of your f**king business what they look like.

I love that she speaks so honestly about not knowing if one day she might want to change how she looks surgically, but how that is totally up to her.

As long as we put so much emphasis on a woman’s looks, we are only going to move women’s right forward so much.

It’s great that we’re in the cultural phase of openly speaking about all aspects of body image, but I do look forward to (hopefully in my lifetime) the time when we won’t need to talk about it anymore…

Body Positivity in the Age of Trolls

Be this size; be that size.

Be thin; be skinny; be healthy; be curvy.

This is good; this is bad. No, wait…I mean, the right amount of thin, but not too skinny.

Curves, yes, but just in the right places.

Lord, help us!

How’s a woman supposed to be on the Internet without questioning her body type?

Body issues? Try Instagram on for size by Julia Carpenter points out how Instagram has been great for body positivity, but the trolls still abound.

This just makes me think about my friend Wendy Wisner’s latest blog post Crazy Commenters on Social Media (Or,What is Wrong With the World?). As a writer on parenting sites, she’s had a crazy amount of negative talkback in the comments.

The anonymity of the Internet seems to make people feel bold behind their computer screens. Things that most people would never say out loud becomes easy to spout at a distance.

Perhaps the only way around this negativity is to not read comments at all? But then we miss the opportunity of receiving the positive messages, too.

I for one am happy to hear criticism about my work in any form if its aim is to point out ways to improve upon the work, but when people attack a person based on their opinions, that’s really taking it too far.

Whatever happened to…if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?