Women Living Large

I love Kristen Houghton’s, author of “And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness,” post on Huffington Post today: Weight: Why One Size Doesn't Fit All.

Houghton is clearly a Stripper Mom as she explains how she used to be the “fat girl,” but that it’s something that most people don’t know about her. She doesn’t go around announcing it to everyone she meets, but she sees that it does affect her today and she’s not ashamed to “admit” her past.

She was fortunate enough to meet an inspiring professor in college who helped her to embrace the body she had as she worked on creating a new relationship to herself; it is through that process that she ended up losing the excess weight.

It definitely seems like times are changing for women when I look around. There obviously is still a bias toward slender women in the media, but I think there’s change brewing.

Ah…I foresee a world where women can live as themselves, being just who they are, looking the way they look, and feeling good about themselves.

We won’t be afraid of our pasts, our presents, or our futures.

Christmas Wishes

The Christmas spirit wants to fill me, wants to deck my halls, wants to skip through fields of Christmas trees.

And my children wouldn’t mind if the Christmas spirit paraded me through a toy store with credit card in hand.

But as most people are this year, we’re trying to reign in the joy, well, not the joy, but the spending.

The old age question arises, which would you rather have as a child? A bunch of small gifts or one big special thing that you really want?

I’m trying to find a happy medium—a special something that’s kind of spectacular and a bunch of cool, inexpensive doo-dads. That’s what I think I would have liked. There’s just something so spectacular about seeing a big old pile of shiny boxes under the tree in the morning.

We all want to know that our needs are going to be met.

And it’s just kind of cool when we discover that (sometimes, not always) our desires will be heard and met, too.

JWoww's Greatest Dream

Gossip Cop quotes Jersey Shore’s JWoww on posing for Maxim magazine’s January 2012 issue as being “probably my highest accomplishment.”


My immediate reaction is of ridicule, but we have certain definitions of success that (hopefully) change a bit as we age, huh?

I remember when I was in my twenties that getting a part in a show or just imaging my big dreams of landing a part in a movie coming to fruition were my biggest aspirations.

It’s interesting what we see as being our highest accomplishments when we’re in our twenties, isn’t it?

It’s a bit sad that many women (the old me included) see appearing on a magazine cover in a bikini as our greatest achievement.

I know though that there are many women who do not need the hindsight of experience to realize there are many greater aspirations.

The question maybe should be, what can we do as a society to encourage women to hold greater dreams from their childhoods forward?

Are People Involved in Porn Inherently Bad?

Perez Hilton reports on Perezitos about how an “Ex Gay Porn Actor Tried To Teach High School, But Fox News Put An End To That!”


This man, Kevin Hogan, who was in three gay porn films eventually moved on to another career—English teacher. And now that parents and the school has found out about his past, there is outrage.

Perez Hilton thinks it goes to him being gay, but I would strongly disagree with that. To me, it sounds like the problem is that he chose to be in porn at all. He is now on paid leave.

I want to know why what someone did in their past, which isn’t illegal, has any bearing on who they are today and what they are capable of. Even better, even if someone was involved in something illegal, why should that matter if they are a different person today?

I am proud of who I am today, but I refuse to hide my past. Yes, I was a stripper. Yes, there are photographs of me in the world.

But I am a good mom. And I am a good English teacher. But no, I was not born those things. It is my past that created the woman I am today.

Our pasts help define us, but do not have the final word. Who we are today is what matters; what we have created from our pasts and what we’ve decided to give to the world is what matters.

Multitasking Moms

Joan Raymond in MSNBC’s Vitals’ Section looks at new research that shows moms are multitasking about ten hours more a week than dads and not so happy doing it.

“Moms are more likely to get stuck with labor-intensive housework or childcare activities, while dads generally multitask by talking to several people at once or performing self-care. Dads are also more involved in kids' recreational activities.”

This is something most moms I know are experiencing firsthand. I wouldn’t say it’s even anything the dads are meaning to do, in fact, most dads I know are extremely hands-on and involved in the household responsibilities But perhaps it’s true that the dads tend to focus on the more “fun” household tasks where the moms feel responsible for the nitty-gritty details like switching out too-small clothes for bigger ones, washing dishes, and making sure he diaper bag has everything needed in it before the family walks out the door.

“To help ease the strain, the authors suggest sharing the load by getting dad more involved in the mundane aspects of home and child care.”

How does your family handle the challenges of balancing out daily mundane household chores?

Celebrity Momster

I started a new blog to gripe about celebrity moms at Celebrity Momster.

I am very liberal and all about letting everyone be themselves and do their thing, but there’s still this urge I have to point at others and say, oh my god!

And those people are often celebrity moms.

Sometimes it’s just fun to say, Suck It!

Ex-Porn Star Can Read!

I’m not surprised that an ex-porn star, Sasha Grey, reading to children in a public school is being reacted to negatively.

What I am surprised about is that no one has shown any surprise that an ex-porn star can actually read! I mean, come on, anyone involved in the adult business must be illiterate, too, right?

The hypocrisy that this news bite shines light on seems to go completely unnoticed.

Why does it matter what this woman used to do for a living? She was invited because she’s a mainstream actress now. Why can’t we let go of people’s pasts?

And why is it such a big deal that she used to have sex on film? If you hadn’t noticed, people are having sex all over the world! Guess what? It’s what creates babies and you know, perpetuates the species and all.

How can we be so judgmental about how a person chooses to have sex when it isn’t harming anyone else?

The woman came and read to students in a classroom. She did not promote her former sex tapes. She did not have sex with the children.

She read books.

Get over it already.

We Learn From Others’ Strengths

The truth that when we are feeling down we should look to others, give to others, has always resonated with me. Of course, it can be hard to look outside ourselves when we are in certain depressed states.


As a mother who can never take a day off, it can feel even harder and more unfair, even when we know we have it pretty good.

Karon Brown’s story was the inspiration I needed today. She is a former crack dealer, stripper, drug user and—a mother.

She has been through recovery more than once, but now finds herself in a good place. She is an addiction counselor and she is writing.

Every time a stripper or former stripper proves to do something positive with their lives, I glow a bit.

Every time the old stereotypes about strippers fall down for a moment, I sigh a happy moment of relief.

Stripper. Drug dealer. Druggie. You name it. Everyone’s got something in their past that others may look down on. But isn’t what matters what one thinks of oneself? And isn’t what will be remembered the good that we make of our entire lives, not just one moment?

Have a Stripperific Halloween!

Is-halloween-too-scary-or-too-sexy

Since when is Halloween the opportunity for kids to let out their inner stripper?


Perhaps we lived in a different era back when I was a kid in the 70’s. There were no “Halloween” stores for buying premade costumes. Either your mom sewed together a sad-looking bunny costume for you or you took a sheet and cut out a few eye holes.

A quick walk through the Halloween store at the Westfield Shopping Center in Milford with my three children was more like a let’s-get-the-hell-out-of-this-sex-shop rampage.

There were aisles and aisles of slutty this and slutty that. Fishnet stockings, stripper stilettos, and every Slutty McSlutty outfit you could imagine. And the short skirts and suggestive attire was not kept to just the adult costumes—no, even the Strawberry Shortcake outfit for a girl had a certain cheesecake appeal to it.

Thank god my kids were more freaked out by the over-the-top grotesque and scary outfits to notice all the slut fierceness surrounding them.

Cole softly murmured, “Let’s get out of here; let’s get out of here…” and I was more than happy to oblige.

Since when does everybody want to pretend to be a stripper on Halloween? And why?

Minka Kelly's Stripper Mom and Archie Comics

There are lots of recaps floating around the Internet this week about the actress Minka Kelly’s Las Vegas Stripper Mom.

The gist of her thoughts toward her “gorgeous” mother was that she wished she’d been more of a mom rather than a friend, but Kelly doesn’t seem to harbor any bad feelings about her mother having been an exotic dancer.

I’m hoping my daughter will be as easily forgiving. Of course, I’m not working as a stripper now, but as Genny is becoming more aware of the world around her, I know I will need to address the issue eventually.

She actually just discovered Archie comics a few weeks ago when I bought some at a tag sale. She’s already loving Betty and Veronica. I’m trying to remember what I made of all their boy-craziness when I began reading them as a girl. I think I was about her same age when I started.

Well, perhaps the Archies will be a good preview for her about how girls and boys can be silly sometimes. As far as I know, there aren’t any stripper moms in Archies though. Not so far at least.


Photo courtesy of Susie B of Freedigitalphotos.net.

Baby’s Growing Up

I’ve been so busy that I’ve barely had time for blogging. Genny and Cole’s school has phase-in this week, but next week they’ll be back on their regular schedule.

Tomorrow is baby’s first birthday.

I’ve really been struck lately, meaning the last few months, how many amazing things are going on with my children. I keep wanting to record all the little changes, but the days keep getting away from me before I can save these mementos.

Like Cole is now speaking not only in sentences, but paragraphs. His favorite words are: actually, nope, and zoombah, as in: “I love you Mommy, zoombah.”

Genny is convinced I don’t love her, but I do like her. If I gave her chocolate every Wednesday though, then that would mean I love her.

And Thomas climbed up the entire flight of stairs before we realized it. He can walk holding on to the living room table.

And me? I’m trying to do too much as usual. Teach for two colleges, get my manuscript ready for publication, work on my other three or seven major writing projects, plan out the possibility of starting a small press.

And, oh yeah—get used to the fact that no matter what I seem to do, my stomach just wants to poof out like a mushroom. And remind myself that I shoudn’t care about something like that anymore.

Gape Seed: A Poetry Anthology

I received my contributor copies of Gape Seed: A Poetry Anthology by Uphook Press.

My first book!

I have a poem titled "Leaving Me" included.

I'll let you know about upcoming readings.

If you'd like to purchase a signed copy, just let me know!

Excuse Me While I Have Sex, I Mean—Nurse My Baby…

It’s the old double-standard, or is it?



After I read about James Hazell, a BBC radio host, comparing breastfeeding in public to him having sex with his wife in a restaurant, I had to look into what his comments were. I felt outraged if what I heard was true, that women shouldn’t be allowed to breastfeed in public because, just like sex, it’s something that should be done in private.



After reading this article, I feel his comments may have been taken slightly out of context. While it is true that he doesn’t feel comfortable with public nursing, his comment about sex was in response to a woman saying breastfeeding was: “the most natural thing in the world.”



While I agree, Hazell’s comment makes sense in context: “Next time you are out having a meal at a restaurant, on the basis that it [breastfeeding] is the most natural thing in the world, I will come in there with my wife and then make love right in front of you. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, and that is fine, but there are a lot of natural things we don’t do in public.”



Yes, Mr. Hazell, I see your point. The “it’s natural” argument could open the door for people doing many socially-unaccepted things in public (masturbation, picking one’s nose, farting loudly, etc.), but when it comes to breastfeeding, it’s about nourishing a child; it’s not about satisfying some personal compulsion or something that could be put on hold until later.



When a child is hungry, he or she needs to eat. When one feels like having sex, one can (hopefully) wait until a room becomes available.

Stripping Down

I’m sorry I haven’t blogged here in awhile; I’ve been busy with my new blog Every Day Create.


I have great news though—my memoir Stripping Down is going to be published by Pink Fish Press.


I’ll give you more details soon!

A Stripper Mom at 48

Danielle Staub: Good-Bye ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’, Hello Strip Club

Danielle, 48, has just signed a three-year contract with Scores Gentleman’s Club in NYC, TMZ reports, along with NSFW photos of Danielle on a stripper pole.

I’ve never seen the show The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but I’ve heard little flashes of it in the news.

I’m kind of impressed that Scores hired a 48-year-old mom as a stripper. Sure, they only did it for publicity sake, but still.

And I’m pretty amazed that Danielle Staub is confident enough to strip in Scores at 48-years-old.

I worked at Scores when it first opened. I was actually there on its opening day.

Scores is like the Cirque du Soleil of strip clubs—flashy, gimmicky, and full of people you kind of want to look at because they’re so beautiful and exotic, but kind of don’t want to look at because they’re so unreal-looking as to be a bit bizarre.

Perhaps Staub will fit right in.

Porn found in bin Laden hideout, officials say

I have to admit I find it humorous to imagine US officials studying the porn found in Bin Laden’s hideout for secret messages.

The U.S. has found so much pornography in the possession of al-Qaida operatives during previous raids that it spurred investigations into whether porn photos were being used to send coded messages, a former U.S. counterterrorism official told NBC News.

It is moments such as these when I stop and wonder who is in possession of naked photos of me.

Could naked photos of me be carrying secret messages across enemy lines?

Nah, probably just being used for “artistic” purposes!

Every Day Create!

I'm happy to launch my new website today: Every Day Create!

My life is so chaotic right now: 3 kids, teaching, writing.

I decided I need to create a goal to keep me centered every day.

I've had such good success this year with my commitment to work on my writing every day, so I figured, what if I applied that commitment to other areas?  Like my well-being! It’s just as important.

I believe we have the power to create our lives, but I have a hard time living into that.

One of my life challenges has always been not feeling like I’m allowed to fully live, really be myself—because I’m a bit worried people will see the real me, and well, not like me.

What if no one likes me? So what?!

I give myself permission to create my self out loud!

I devote myself to creating that self I’ve always wanted to be—bold, outrageous, joyful, and fun!

I’ll give myself (and you, if you so choose to accept the challenge) goals each week to create something totally new and unique. We won’t be staying in out comfort zone.

Join me.

Create your own daily goal every day, or use mine, or just watch what unfolds in the background until you’re ready to join in.

Every morning I’ll shoot my vlog, make my daily intention known to you—get it out of my head and into the world.

I’ll report back to you in the evening by blog to let you know how I did on following through.

Share your creation goals, too. Either vlog it or blog it in the comments section of my vlog.

Or you can just ditto if you’re going to try my goal of the day. The important thing is that you put it out there so you have someone else besides yourself counying on you.

Be sure to check back in later to let us all know your progress.

So that’s the general idea for now. I’ll tweak things as we go.

But I don’t want to wait to get started anymore.  I hold back on so many things because I always want things to be perfect.

No more!  Time to grab life and begin.

Let’s do it! Every day create!

Madonna is to Strippers like Sprinkles Are to Ice Cream

There's a short piece on Salon by Christine Macdonald today that really brought me back to the old days.

She's a former stripper turned writer and she talks about dancing to Madonna.

A part of me wants to shout out--What?!  YOU strippeed to Madonna, too?!  What a coincidence!  I did, too!

And her descriptions are so dead-on.  I danced to "Like a Prayer" also! 

I vogued on stage, too! 

And, I felt so cool and sexy doing it.  Madonna really brings out your inner-stripper.

But most importantly, Macdonald's writing reminds me that I was not and am not the exception.  There were and are a lot of other intelligent strippers (and ex-strippers, thank you very much) out there.

And you know what else?  There are good people still in the world...

I saw a lady driving by our house this week, pull over, get out of her car, pick up a leaf basket that was blown into the road, and carry it up into a lawn.  She paused, looked back at the road as if she were considering how windy it was, and then brought the basket further up into the lawn.

Then she got in her car and drove away. 

I actually said out loud as she drove away, "You've restored my faith in humanity."

Smart strippers and considerate drivers.  What a world!

Stripper Wisdom Graphic Memoir Excerpt

I have an excerpt from a graphic memoir I'm working on in Xenith Magazine.

Check out "My Other Nudie Jobs: Nude Housekeeper!"

Jet Fuel Review Spring Issue

I have a poem in Jet Fuel Review's premier issue.

Check it out here!