Can't a Strip Club Help a Kid Out?

It’s the story about the strip club with a heart of gold, or something like that.

So, a Los Angeles-area little league needed $1,200 to keep their team up and running and a friendly donor came forward with the donation.

Only problem? The aforementioned philanthropist was Jet Strip gentleman's club and now the team is rejecting the generous offer.

Philip Caulfield of the New York Daily News reports that when the league’s chief learned where the money came from, he balked at the offer, which kind of goes against earlier reports that he knew where the money came from. But then the media picked up on the story and, you know, made it into a story, and then how was a little kids’ baseball team really going to be able to take the money without loads of controversy.

Supposedly, Jet Strip has been generous in the past and not wanted any recognition, but only to help. Some of these charities have turned down the club’s help, too.

I do find one mother’s comment about why it doesn’t matter where the money comes from quite sweet.

"Whoever is willing to get behind the kids in a positive way, you know, we have to be willing to support those people as well," local mom Tanya Dempsey told KTLA.”

And while I think that’s great in theory, I’m not quite sure how a bunch of baseball moms and kids would really be able to help support the Jet Strip.

What do you think? Should the team just take the donation and hope the media dies down, or is too late for that?

Another Bad Rap for Strippers by Billy Corgan

Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins thinks that a lot of artists today are willing to do anything to be noticed.

I would agree. In this culture where if you aren’t a part of the social-media-marketing-tweeting phenomenon, no one may even know you exist.

Trust me, I think most artists, be they musicians, or writers, or visual artists, wish it weren’t that way. But you have to let people know you have something to offer.

The problem, Corgan thinks, has to do with what the goal is. He thinks a lot of artists today have no larger goal with their work other than being famous.

Andrew Martin at Prefix Magazine writes, Billy Corgan Calls New Artists "Strippers," Rants About "Posers" and quotes Corgan:

"[Artists that break through now] have grown up thinking that being famous is the goal," he said. "Not to be respected - not to be dangerous." He compared breakthrough artists to prostitutes, saying, "[once you make that deal] you're just the fresh stripper."

"Don't call it rock and roll," Corgan said. "I was part of a generation that changed the world - and it was taken over by posers.

This really is an important topic. But I think Corgan misses the metaphor by describing these wannabes as “strippers.”

Yes, strippers expose themselves for money’s sake with perhaps no thought of a bigger goal in mind, but that is not always the case.

Poor strippers are being given another bad rap by being the much-maligned group that is only about money and selling one’s soul.

Why not compare these wannabes as Wall Street traders instead? Aren’t they all about selling their souls for money, too? What is their bigger mankind-saving mission?

Oh, wait—or that would just be a generalization and Corgan wouldn’t do that, would he? I mean, he’s all about changing the world and all; I’m sure he doesn’t stereotype people, right?

Women's Image in the Media

Most of the world by now understands that the way women are represented across media does not represent “real” women, but that has not stopped the trend to oversexualize women in the marketplace to sell products.

And although women make up more than 50% of America, they are only “17% of seats in the House of Representatives. They're 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs and 7% of directors in the top 250 grossing films” according to CNN.

CNN concludes: “We live in a sexualized society where the gap between fantasy and reality is vast and harmful.”

Isn’t this what women have been saying all along?

Perhaps some of the latest documentaries being played across the country will help bring the problem to the surface in a new way and for a new generation.

“Siebel-Newsom's documentary, Miss Representation, is the latest cinematic foray in the movement to challenge portrayals of beauty in "the media," a term used to describe all forms of mass communication, from the internet, TV, film, magazines, radio and advertising...While Miss Representation connects the media's impact to leadership, another documentary examines its influence on perceptions of health and body image. As with beauty, they're not always accurate, says Darryl Roberts, the director behind the America the Beautiful series.”

What do you think it will take to really change the way women are represented in our society?

Do you think the way women are represented in the media will change anytime soon?

You Can Strip, But Not You

This article by Jan Moir for the Daily Mail got me thinking—Stripping off for gold: How our super-fit Olympic hopefuls just can't keep their kit on.

As do so many American athletes, there seems to be a trend in stripping down for the cameras for publicity’s sake.

We expect and accept it from celebrities like actresses and models, but how does the public feel about elite athletes doing the same?

Do athletes posing nude denigrate the sport?

I’m not sure I really see the difference between popular athletes and celebrities. I mean, why should it be acceptable for only some people to make some extra bucks with their bodies and not others? Don’t stars and athletes already make a living off their “bodies”?

Look at Sports Illustrated’s annual swimsuit issue. If we’re really going to get upset about something, why not question that age old practice of saying looking at beautiful half-naked women is a sport.

Interview at My Wild Skies

My editor at Pink Fish Press, Sarah Martinez, interviewed me for her Blog, My Wild Skies.

Check out her interview and please leave comments if you are so inclined!

Thank you for your support!

Mila Kunis Talks About the Wrong Way to Lose Weight

Diane Mapes writes Mila Kunis, 'Black Swan' and how extreme diets warp your body for Today health on MSNBC.

Mapes addresses an important issue that I’ve often stressed to my yoga clients—it’s not good to lose weight too fast!

I’ve had female clients who wanted weight loss NOW! I always try to encourage women that rapid weight loss is not only not healthy for you, but can actually cause the exact opposite result of what you are trying to achieve.

“Already lean, Kunis dropped 20 pounds in order to play Natalie Portman's ballerina frenemy in "Black Swan." At 95 pounds, Kunis says "I was muscles, like a little brick house, but skin and bones."

Unfortunately, when she gained the weight back, Kunis says it ended up in completely different places.”

Isn’t this what every mother experiences?

We gain weight rapidly; our poor bodies stretch and moan. Then as quickly as the weight was gained, a vast majority of it is dropped out quite quickly (Well, if you consider ten hours of labor “quick”).

“Andrea N. Giancoli, a registered dietitian and spokeswoman for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, says redistributed weight isn't uncommon after drastic weight loss (and weight gain).

"What often happens with extreme weight loss and when you lose weight very quickly is that you lose muscle tissue," she says. "Unfortunately, when we gain the weight back, it comes back as fat."”

This phenomenon has a lot to do with why we see so much yo-yo dieting—ups and downs in weight loss and gain.

“If you're dieting, Giancoli advises you shoot for losing 1-2 pounds a week, which gives your body opportunity to adapt to the weight loss and minimizes the loss of lean tissue and muscle.”

Perhaps some women may not be happy that they won’t see the immediate results they desire, but in the long run (I know it’s sometimes hard to consider that), you’ll be much healthier and happier!

But I'm Going to Be a Doctor One Day!

Gawker explains Stripping To Pay Your Way Through Med School Definitively A Real Thing.

“ABC News points us to an editorial that claims nearly 10% of medical students in the UK, up from 6% in 2006, know someone who has participated in sex work in an effort to pay off the rising cost of medical school...

Past surveys have noted that pole and lap dancing are the most popular type of sex work of which students participate. Stripping is second and prostitution came third, according to the report.”

So where do people really stand on this issue?

Do you think it’s more permissible to be a stripper if a woman is using the money for a greater good?

I mean, if a woman is using her dollar bills to become a doctor, does that make it more acceptable than if she is just partying away her bills?

Stripping Down is Free Today for Kindle!

My memoir Stripping Down is available for free today and tomorrow for Kindle!

Please download a copy and enjoy!

I'd appreciate any reviews you could leave at Amazon or GoodReads!

Stripping as a Feminst Act

Please check out Great Debates, which is a new platform, where Huffington Post pits two expert bloggers against one another to tackle some of today's most pressing issues.

In their first Great Debate, Can Stripping Ever Be Feminist?, stripper-turned-author Sheila Hageman blogs that you can take your clothes off for men and still be a feminist, whilst women's rights campaigner Navprit Rai insists stripping can never be a feminist statement.

Why Strippers Become Trapped

My Fox Detroit has a piece, Why Some Exotic Dancers Become Trapped by Alexis Wiley, about how easily women can become trapped by the stripping life. A lot of the issues discussed are what I examine and offer help with in my book The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You?

“Kalisha Madden and Cherice Gordon have been missing for nearly three months. Both women are exotic dancers from Detroit. Many wonder if their lifestyle as strippers played a role in their disappearance. Often times, the lure of money puts these women in harm's way. FOX 2's Alexis Wiley takes a closer look at why it's so easy for some of these women to get trapped.”

Wiley interviews a few women who are dancers, but who had their glamorous expectations dashed by the true stripping world.

The message we see coming through is that regardless of the great money they are making, it really might not be worth it because it’s too easy to get distracted by the vices that go along with fast money.

I hear my own story in their words: "My first job was at Chuck E. Cheese, so I was like that looks a lot better than Chuck E," said Laura.

I thought the same about working at Dunkin’ Donuts and J.C. Penney.

The women discuss the dangers involved even if you’re playing by the rules, but even knowing this, they are not ready to leave the strip world.

"Once you're in, you're kind of stuck in because you start accumulating all these things that you didn't have before," said Laura. "You're kind of forced to keep going to work and paying these bills for this stuff that you didn't really need in the first place and it's just a trap."

The reporter also interviewed Anny Donewald, an ex-dancer.

"I did amateur night and I won $200, and when you're a 19-year-old college student, $200, that's a lot of ramen noodles."

But after six years, she knew she had to leave the world because she was feeling “dead.”

She went on to create Eve's Angels, which consists of women who go to clubs to offer support without judgment to strippers when they are ready to quit.

Should Breastfeeding Photos Be Kept Private?

Cafe Mom’s April Peveteaux asks: Why Are You Posting Breastfeeding Photos on Facebook, Anyway?

Her feelings are that while breastfeeding is wonderful and all, it should be all about baby and not about mom and her needs.

“Breastfeeding is an intimate act, so why are you sharing it online? I get it if you're a website dedicated to showing women the positive aspects of breastfeeding, and promoting the normalcy so we can all get over our hang-ups. But as an everyday mom just trying to feed your baby, why would you want to take your picture and post it? Breastfeeding is very personal, between you and your baby. Not you and your 3,000 Facebook friends. You don't post pictures of you and your partner in an intimate embrace, do you? And if you do, why in the world would you do that?

That's called over-sharing, people, and it's no wonder your friends get annoyed. Just like you don't want to see a picture of your FB friend in her bikini, maybe she feels weird about seeing your naked breast. (Note, if either of these scenarios is popping up because you're somewhere in public and a group photo is being taken -- all bets are off. I'm talking about posed, on purpose, intimate photos. There's a huge difference.)”

Hmm...I get what the writer is saying, but I think I kind of disagree.

Yes, breastfeeding is about providing the best for one’s baby, but there are obviously a lot of other emotions and issues attached to it for the mother.

And while nursing is an “intimate” act in one sense, it’s also just about eating. Why wouldn’t I post a photo of my child eating?

A lot of mothers may feel the need to also make a stand for the mothers who feel shamed about nursing and posting pics in a public forum can be a show of support, a way of saying—Hey! Look! I’m nursing and there’s nothing wrong about it!

And the thing I just don’t get is that people seem to think that when moms nurse that they’re sitting there with their shirt off giving a show. I’ve never seen a mother just letting it all hang out in public. When a baby is nursing, most of the breast is hidden.

All this controversy over nursing though, with moms being accused of being like strippers for nursing in public though...it’s making me want to show the difference to the world!

Do a little striptease in public and then nurse my baby. The world would see the difference!

Happy Birthday, Tempest Storm

David Moye reports on The Huffington Post about burlesque dancer Tempest Storm’s leap year birthday celebration.

What I find most fascinating is that she was dancing up to a few years ago.

“Tempest Storm's career trajectory was even longer than her contemporaries. Although she officially retired in 1995 at the age of 67, she occasionally danced on stage until June 2010, when she broke her hip at the Plaza Hotel in Las Vegas, according to the Las Vegas Sun.”

Watching this video of her really made me realize there is such a lovely vulnerability, sensuality, and openness to well-done stripteases that has so little to do with outright nudity.

Watching her dance brings me back to my days stripping and how much fun I had when I was allowed (and I allowed myself) to strip as performance and not just as body part showing.

Move Over Postpartum Depression

The Huffington Post has an interesting article on a newly studied depression in mothers—not your regular old postpartum, but weaning depression.

“One major contributing factor may be actual physiological changes taking place in the body. Breastfeeding stimulates the production of hormones such as oxytocin, known colloquially as "the love hormone." Mothers' moods may plummet in its absence.

In addition, many women may experience a profound sense of grief and loss when they wean.”

Reading this piece brings me a new sense of relief around some of the mood issues I’ve been dealing with of late. I’ve been sick for over a month now and have dealt with an exhaustion that bewilders me.

I’ve also been weaning my youngest, but very slowly, letting him take the lead.

Perhaps some of what I’ve been experiencing could relate to this weaning process, not only on an emotional level of sadness, but in fluctuations of certain hormones.

“As long as research looking at the "what" and "why" behind depression and weaning remains relatively scant, then, the best mothers may be able to hope for is that awareness of the potential connection spreads.”

Whenever I become aware of a possible connection to some aspect of my depression I feel a new sense of being able to make it through.

I hope this story will resonate with other women experiencing these shifts in mood during weaning and perhaps spark a new wave of research.

SInead O'Connor Wants to Pose for Playboy?

Leave it to Sinead O'Connor to cause a headline by claiming she'd like to pose for Playboy.

Regardless of why she would want to pose for this magazine, I find it more interesting what it brings up for me.

Judgments. Questions.

Wonderings of what it means to be a feminst in this day and age.

Check out my blog on The Huffington Post...

Stripper Cousin Makes Me Think About Nudity

From stripper mom to stripper cousin!

Alexis Tereszcuk reports on Radar about Kate Middleton’s twenty-one year old stripper cousin Katrina Darling.

“(She) is the second cousin once removed of Kate and Pippa Middleton. Katrina’s grandmother and the Middleton sisters’ great-grandmother, Lily, were sisters.

She calls herself the “Royal Family’s closest brush with soft porn,” and Katrina will be stripping on March 13 at her X-rated God Save the Queen show at WIP in SoHo.”

I guess it really is all about nudity and publicity, isn’t it?

A nude hat fashion show gets publicity. A nude semi-royal gets publicity.

It’s official. The world likes nudeness!

“I take my clothes off, but I don’t give away anything that should be kept for someone else,” she told the New York Post.

Well, I would think that’s subjective, isn’t it? Some people would think even showing a little leg to someone you’re not married to is sacrilegious.

I mean, is there an accepted amount of nudity anymore?

Can a stripper be modest?

Can a bikini model be prudish?

Is it okay to be topless on a beach but not in a magazine?

Does it matter what the nudity’s intent is?

How nude is too nude?

Nude Pregnant Model Wears a Hat

Thank you Daily Mail for this story—Hat's on! But everything else is off... Pregnant glamour model walks the runway naked at London Fashion Week—by Maysa Rawi.

To sum it all up for you, there’s this hat designer who is an unknown and, well, she really wanted some publicity, so, you know, she had a fashion show and she had her models wear hats and nothing else, and oh yeah, one of the models was eight-months pregnant.

And she’s the first one to say the nudity has no artistic meaning or value other than, getting people’s attention.

“Coles, 31, from Pontypool, South Wales, said she wanted to include Cahill, who is a friend from home, because it is rare to see pregnant women on the catwalk.”

Well, I suppose this is good in the sense that an artist is taking a cue from advertisers and doing what it takes to get people to take notice of her wares.

Hmm, should I call her an artist if she herself admitted just doing it for publicity’s sake?

And I don’t see anything too spectacular about the hats, so I imagine the initial burst of publicity will not result in anything momentous, but she did get the free publicity she was looking for.

As for the pregnant model? Cool for her. I bet she felt beautiful walking nude in all her Mama glory. I know whenever I’m pregnant, I feel very secure in my body image because I know people aren’t judging me for my weight gain.

Human Trafficking at a Strip Club?

An interesting story from Cape Times on iol News, “Mavericks dancers: We’re free to come and go.”

There have been allegations of human trafficking at Mavericks strip club in South Africa. A reporter interviewed three dancers and checked out their accommodations and the club.

Apparently women come to Mavericks from other countries for the good money.

“The spotlight has fallen on the behind-the-scenes activities of Mavericks strip club, with Western Cape High Court Judge Siraj Desai asking the Human Rights Commission to investigate the working conditions of exotic dancers at the club, saying they could constitute human trafficking.

This was after corporate permits for 200 foreign dancers were revoked by the Department of Home Affairs. Mavericks owner Shane Harrison invited the Cape Times to visit the dancers’ residential premises, where Zara NICHOLSON spoke to three women.”

The owner provides the dancers with their own room in a nice building with a pool; they do have to pay the club a monthly fee to work at Mavericks, which includes the boarding if they so choose.

Two of the three women interviewed are mothers. One is caring for severely handicapped boys and now can afford three nannies. Another one is putting herself through school to have a better life.

I suppose as long as exotic dancing offers women the opportunity to make quick cash when there are no other jobs available, we’re going to have women willing to strip.

I am pretty astonished at how much money these women must be making though to afford the lifestyles they refer to.

One dancer said, “I would not be able to afford the help I need for my kids in any other way. I am giving them a good life, we have a beautiful house with a garden and a pool,” she said.

These three dancers were picked to be interviewed by the owner of the club. Hmm...

Breastfeeding Mother Compared to a Stripper

Cole Nursing

WSAV reports on the latest breastfeeding kerfuffle.

A Georgia mother was compared to a stripper for breastfeeding her baby during church service.

Nirvana Jennette said, “I was told to go nurse in the bathroom and was told to cover up and go away. I knew the bond and importance of breastfeeding and that’s what I decided to do for my baby.”

And then she was asked not to return to the church.

I find it amazing that people will get so riled up by a woman nursing her baby, but will be okay with Sports Illustrated’s annual swimsuit issue that displays a woman almost nude on magazine racks where children of all pages pass by.

A nursing mother is nourishing her child; a sports magazine is basically calling looking at pretty naked women a “sport.”

I would much rather explain to a small child what a nursing mother is doing than what a swimsuit model is doing.

But the funny thing is that children never seem upset or confused at all if they see me nursing in public; it’s always only been adults.

A statewide nurse-in will be held in protest to raise awareness of breastfeeding Monday, March 5 from 10 AM to 2 PM.

For more information, visit the State Nurse-in Page on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/YOURSTATENURSEIN/ or sign the petition at http://www.change.org/petitions/establish-better-protection-for-breastfeeding-mothers.

Congrats to Redbook Magazine for Honoring All Mothers

Why CAN'T stripping be right for some moms?

An opinion piece on Fox news, Not your mother’s magazine: Redbook supports stripping, by Penny Young Nance, does not pay tribute to a hard-working stripper mom.

The writer is quite offended by Redbook Magazine’s two-page feature in the March issue on a mother who strips to afford to send her four-year-old daughter to a private school.

“Is Redbook seriously suggesting that stripping is a legitimate answer to an American family’s economic hardships?” Nance asks.

In these economic times, why shouldn’t this be a career choice for a mother if she feels good about it? It most definitely isn’t the right career decision for many, but for the few who want to give it a try, why should we belittle them?

Nance goes on to say: “Had the staff at Redbook done their research, they would know that the strip club industry has painful ramifications on society and leads to pornography addiction, gangs, drug use and sex trafficking — just to name a few.”

Well, I would be interested in knowing what research shows that stripping specifically leads to these societal ills. Where is the direct cause and effect link?

Why are we out to condemn women who choose to work as strippers?

Nance believes: “Instead of irresponsibly promoting the acceptance of stripping, Redbook should highlight the work of strong, compassionate women who counsel, support, and shelter strippers trapped in that dangerous life. It is these inspirational women who deserve two-page tributes in major magazines.”

While it would also be splendid to honor these women Nance mentions, she is speaking of the women who are “trapped.” What is so wrong about honoring the women who take their own decisions into their own hands and choose to be strippers and do not feel trapped but rather empowered?

Not every stripper feels trapped. Not every woman has the same feelings about sexuality, sensuality and their expression.

Can we support women, especially mothers, as we all make our own difficult choices?

Strip Clubs Should Support a Proposed Pole Tax

Pantagraph reports that a strip club tax has been proposed by a state senator in Illinois.

“Under legislation pending in the Illinois Senate, operators of adult entertainment facilities would pay a $5 fee to the state for each person who enters their establishments, with the proceeds going to fund rape crisis centers and other sexual assault assistance organizations.”

I applaud State Sen. Toi Hutchinson’s idea. She adds up that since topless clubs are supplying “sex and alcohol,” which can sometimes be triggering factors to abuse that they should be willing to aid the plight of abused women.

Of course, I also understand the Illinois Club Owners Association’s opposition to this legislation.

"What do the clubs have to do with abused women?" Ronan said. "I don't want to make light of it, but we just don't get the connection."

Other states have tried similar legislation, but have never succeeded in their implementation.

I mean, if we’re going to tax things that might be dangerous and put that money toward helping groups that might be affected by similar things, we can actually probably help a lot of people.

Cigarette taxes to go toward aiding youth without health insurance or on cleaning up our environment?

Junk food taxes to help battle the problem of childhood obesity?

The question then becomes—where does the taxing end?

From the strip clubs viewpoint though I would think there’s a positive way to view the legislation. Instead of fighting it, why not champion it? Show the world that strip clubs aren’t all bad? That although there is alcohol and the fantasy of sex sold, there are also decent people who want to do good in the world in existence in that same environment.