Miley Cyrus as Body Image Advocate?

In a world full of politically correct celebrities all trying to say the right thing for the right press, you have to admire Miley Cyrus for being true to who she is today.

Photo by Mark Seliger via Marie Claire

In her interview with Marie Claire, she speaks about the difficulties of “being” Hannah Montana.

From the time I was 11, it was, 'You're a pop star! That means you have to be blonde, and you have to have long hair, and you have to put on some glittery tight thing.' Meanwhile, I'm this fragile little girl playing a 16-year-old in a wig and a ton of makeup. 

While we are quick to judge celebrities who dare complain about their seemingly charmed lives, it’s good to be reminded that even those in the spotlight struggle with the same issues as those of us in the shadows.

I was told for so long what a girl is supposed to be from being on that show. I was made to look like someone that I wasn't, which probably caused some body dysmorphia because I had been made pretty every day for so long, and then when I wasn't on that show, it was like, Who the fuck am I?

I can relate to what she says. Who amongst us has not ever presented ourselves to the world one way and then wondered who we really are when we step off the stage (literal or metaphorical).

What do we do this information? Can we change ourselves by not changing ourselves to be who we think others want us to be?

Perhaps if we have role models stepping up to those pressures for us, we can.

Strippers' Rights

In her New York Times Op-Ed, Stop Stealing From Strippers, Antonia Crane explains well the injustices done to strippers and defends strippers' rights.

Lauren Kolesinskas via NYTimes.com

She’s one of the only other stripper/writers I’ve seen address the pay-discrepancy between what people think strippers make and what they actually do. Her main point for this essay is to point out how unfair it is for strippers to have to give away so much of their income.

Strip clubs have provided me and many other dancers with steady income for our entire adult lives. I’m thankful to have enjoyed decades as a paid entertainer. But we deserve the same protections and respect given to any employee in any other work force. We are night laborers who have found a way to offer fantasy, entertainment, intrigue and human contact in an impersonal culture. We want to see a safe and sexy dance floor in every strip club in America. And we deserve to keep our tips.

I’ve fallen prey to all of the pay-outs that Crane describes: the percentage of our earnings that have to be given to the club, to the manager on duty, to the DJ and even to the “house mom.”

That these payouts are accepted practice in clubs all across America is truly unfair and exploitive. While many may disagree with the stripping profession, exotic dancers still deserve to have workplace protections just like any other profession.

Pregnant and Naked? How About Pregnant and Dressed in Walmart Clothes?

I’m Pregnant…See?

No, I’m not pregnant, but these celebrities are. Guess how I know? Yeah, because they’re naked.

Naya Rivera, of Glee fame, posed for Yahoo! Style according to Celebrity Baby Scoop.

And Kim Kardashian took a selfie to quiet her naysayers who said she was faking her pregnancy.

Vogue writer Patricia Garcia thinks Kardashian is now a “Role Model for Pregnant Women Everywhere.”

Although from the comments section, I would say that most readers disagree heartily with that term being applied to a naked pregnant woman.

Look, I’m all for women posing nude, pregnant or not, if it makes them feel good and empowered. I’ve been known to do it myself (although not while pregnant, which I actually kind of regret).

But at this point, when it’s been done to death, and we’ve already seen the aforementioned celebrities nude or all glammed up, it’s not like it’s really such a shock anymore.

I’d really actually rather see a pregnant celebrity pose in some clothes from Walmart or something along those lines.

Photo of pregnant Sheila Hageman wearing cheap maternity clothes

Now that would be different! We would see them in a different light. They would be taking a risk.

As viewers, we would have the opportunity to feel like they were really trying to relate to the “real” woman (and by that, I don’t mean that they aren’t real, I just mean it in the terms of them having different photographic experiences possible to them than the majority of pregnant women).

BuzzFeed Staffers Face Their Body Fears Head On

A lot of women have browsed through a Victoria’s Secret catalog and felt less than stellar about themselves.

We know. We talk about it. We write about it.

We don’t often talk about how men feel when seeing a Calvin Klein ad though.

Leave it to the BuzzFeed staff to face these issues square in the body.

After the BuzzFeed female staffers posed for We Tried On Victoria’s Secret Bathing Suits And This Is What Happened, the men got in on the act with We Re-Created Famous Calvin Klein Underwear Ads And This Is What Happened.

While reading the comments the ladies made, I really felt the women were being honest and I felt they were really looking at the experience.

Nina said:

Honestly, I wish we could go back to wearing old-timey full-coverage swimsuits. I also have fairly large boobs and it’s really hard to find a suit that lets me move around and NOT flash people. I assumed these models just got made up, put on the swimsuit, struck a pose and got the shot. Easy. But it wasn’t easy. The sand was really hard and hurt my knees. It was freaking cold that day and I did not want to wet my hair in the ice water of the Pacific. I struggled to make my body even somewhat resemble the model’s, no matter how much I sucked in. 

Looking at these models was just a constant reminder that never in my adult life have I been that skinny or white, so I can’t pretend that I relate. It sucks because there are different ways to represent “bikini bodies” and beauty in general, but we’re force-fed one image. I wish I could see someone like me in a magazine, but I’m still waiting.

While I want to believe the men are speaking honestly, there was more of a level of snark like this was all just a big joke.

Logan said: 

Almost every single male underwear model looks like he was sculpted by someone trying to create the ideal man. The funny thing is, when I look at these ads, I don’t even notice the underwear. It’s just more like, damn. How do you get that ripped? 

The confidence behind my pose was certainly tough to fake. I had a fairly “natural” pose, but a thousand questions popped into my head while I was doing it: How do my arms look? Do I have that line in my stomach? Can you see my flat butt from this angle? How’s my package lookin’? WHAT DO I DO WITH MY FACE? I was really afraid that my arms would look scrawny, my legs would look really white, and my stomach would be…awkward. 

A great way to feel insecure is to compare your body to that of an underwear model. Or to anyone else, for that matter. You just have to learn to appreciate your own body, which is tough, but necessary. I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way.

But, of course, for the women, the Victoria’s Secret brand is much more of a presence in their lives than the Calvin Klein ads are for the men.

Because it’s not just VS that can seemingly taunt women with high expectations of what it means to look like a woman—it’s every magazine on the grocery store stands, it’s every newsstand, it’s every billboard. It’s the culture.

For men, it’s much more—once in a blue moon. So it’s more of a joke. It’s more of a humorous exercise in imagining what it would feel like to really feel the need to look like one of those men.

But they know at the end of the day, it’s all just a joke. Men have not been ingrained to compute their value or their worth based on their looks.

Boy/Girl. Blue/Pink. Yawn! Let's Get Real!

My kids are constantly surprising me in opposing directions.

When I suggested to my son that he play with dolls with his sister, he was quick to point out “Dolls are for girls!”

He certainly didn’t get that from me. (And yo, those superhero action figures are dolls!)

Then the other day, he reached for a pink version of something (I honestly don’t remember what it was; I’m lucky I remember their names), and my daughter shouted, “You can’t pick that one! It’s pink!”

And he stepped up to the plate and announced, “I can like pink!”

And I was like, “Yeah!”

Now we’re talking! I’ve always told my three children that just because society labels everything boy—blue and everything girl—pink, doesn’t mean that has to be the way we see it.

The big box store Target agrees. They are going to move forward with phasing out gender-based signage in both the toys and bedding section.

The majority of people are happy, proclaiming this a step forward in the fight to remove gender-specified items from our consciousness.

Some people argue that Target is just giving into the latest politically correct fad.

Come on! We all know it’s silly to label certain toys “girl” or “boy.”

Why would we want to box kids into being what the world expects?

I want my kids breaking molds and being whomever they wish to be—whether it be in pink or blue (or purple or green, etc. you get the point…)!

Can We Have Positive Body Image Even With Surgery?

Iggy Azalea: ‘Body image is such a complicated thing’--the title says it all.

What’s even more complicated is how we can be positive role models for an issue that we ourselves feel so complicated about.

Let’s break it down into simple terms: Iggy Azalea is a controversial Australian rapper who said, “I don’t think positive body image means always having to be 100 per cent natural.”

She’s had a breast augmentation and a nose job.

After she was already famous.

So, it’s not like she was trying to make herself fit some stereotype in order to be seen and celebrated. And there was certainly no way of her fans not noticing the changes. So, she didn’t try to hide her surgeries.

The question becomes, why?

If one has already become successful (looking the way one looks naturally), why would one want to change that look?

“I try to be body-positive, whether you’re just loving your natural self or you want to make changes…It’s important we have that conversation, because we have this Photoshop conversation a lot of the time, but it’s a bit more invasive or taboo for people to talk about the surgical ways we sometimes enhance ourselves. That’s very relevant to girls who are looking to you, or aspiring to you. As much as people should know you’re Photoshopped, they should know if you’re surgically enhanced. It’s too unfair [otherwise].”

I applaud Azalea’s honesty. And I get that people do see this whole beauty ideal as some sort of competition in a way.

Who can be thinnest? Who can be most beautiful?

But is the answer to give in to the pressures? Whether of society’s or our own making?

For young girls, knowing the truth does not always equal an ability to rationalize that they do not need to meet those beauty standards.

They may intellectually understand a photo is photoshopped or a model has had work done, but what they see is the finished product.

They see what they want to be, and they’ll do anything to get there.

The Beauty Race is a dangerous game indeed.

When Stripping Feels Like Your Only Option

“Kim” wrote an opinion piece for The Guardian, I work at the US Senate. I shouldn't have to dance at strip clubs to feed my son.

This is a powerful story that highlights how and why some women who wouldn’t normally strip find themselves in situations where stripping becomes the best option they see available.

Kim details her very rough childhood and her amazing struggle to stand on her own two feet as a young woman. Being a single mother, she cannot afford to pay her bills every month unless she strips.

I’m a single mother and I struggle to support my son on the $10.33 an hour I make at one of the most exclusive clubs in America – the US Senate. I’m a cashier employed by the British-owned contractor that runs the cafeterias in the Senate office buildings. But even though I serve some of the wealthiest and most powerful people in the world, I can’t afford to buy my son school supplies or clothes…

When I realized that I couldn’t survive on what I was making at the Senate, I made a difficult decision. Faced with eviction notices and unpaid bills, I decided to dance at a strip club a few nights a week to earn extra money. It was the only job I could find that let me work a flexible schedule and earn a living wage.

I was not in such a desperate situation when I began stripping at 18, but in my naïve mind at the time, I felt a sense of there being no other avenues for me to turn to.

Obviously, that wasn’t true for me, but I believed it and so it became my reality for awhile..

Kim sounds as though stripping really is one of her only viable options to make the money she needs, working the hours she needs.

I don’t want to be a stripper: it can be demeaning to dance for men who show no respect for women. I only do it out of necessity, because I have to support my son…when [the senators] sit down with the primary voters and listen to their problems, I hope they’ll be thinking about my story too – and the tough decisions the workers who serve them every day have to make for the people they love.

I wish I had an answer for Kim and other women like her who feel stripping is their only saving grace.

Right now, all I have to offer are words of encouragement and support that it does get better and will get better.

You are doing what you need to for yourself and your family. Hold your head high and know that you are valuable and valued.

Thank you for sharing your story, Kim.

Photography Projects Embrace Diverse Bodies and Truths

Bodies have always been seen as artful and beautiful. They have also been seen as canvasses for the stories we have to tell. And now, with such amazing technology available to many, we are seeing and hearing stories that we didn’t hear before.

For example, I am loving the abundance of photographers taking photographs of mothers pre and post baby.

There will never be too many.

Let these photos of moms celebrating their bodies become as commonplace as models in bikinis on magazine covers in supermarkets.

The latest project I learned about is Divine Mothering by photographer Liliana Taboas Cruz.

Cruz’s photos of mothers on her blog also include interviews with her models, which allow the viewer to put a personality and story to the images.

Two other photographers, Paula Akpan and Harriet Evans, use models of differing body types, genders and race to express the different ideas and stereotypes that people are tired of hearing in the "I'm Tired" project.

The mission of this project is “to highlight the significance and lasting impact of everyday micro-aggressions and stereotypes.”

Art is all around us now. Images and stories flood our virtual lives.

Artists are taking advantage of the possibilities to address social issues and reach audiences all over the world.

Each project spawns the artist in others. Each celebration of diversity allows the next generation to feel more vocal and capable of telling their own truths and stories.

We are moms and these are our bodies

Mum Photographs Women's Bodies Pre- And Post-Birth To Paint An 'Honest Picture Of Motherhood' on The Huffington Post UK by Amy Packham introduces readers to photographer Natalie McCain.

She captures mothers in all their body glory in The Honest Body Project. These women radiate out true beauty and power.

"I want to help other mums come to this realisation and change their inner voice to self love. When you change your inner voice, your entire world changes."

How wonderful to be able to help other women celebrate and appreciate their bodies just as they are.

Fat is just a word

I guess I have more work to do.

My six-year-old son just walked up behind me writing this post and when he saw these photos he said, “Oh my gosh! That woman is so fat, her fat is coming out of her shirt.”

“That’s not nice to say, that someone is so fat,” I said.

And he looked at me quizzically.

I’m sitting here wondering what is correct.

I don’t want my children to just be politically correct and feel like they can’t speak of what they see and use words that they know.

Fat isn’t inherently a bad word.

And that seems to be partly what Brazilian photographer Miarana Godoy is saying with her photos of large-sized women in lingerie.

Women reclaim the word 'fat' in Empowering Me body positive photo series details Godoy’s project: “The photographer went on to explain that she wanted to highlight that being fat doesn't mean a person is unhealthy, and pointed out that thinner people also experience health problems.”

You can't tell if someone is healthy by looking at them. Regardless of whether they are fat or thin. You cannot tell just by looking at them.

Photos can tell any story. The real story lies behind the images. In our lives. And whether we are healthy or not should not become some new standard to self-acceptance either.

We don't want to lose one way to judge ourselves simply to be replaced by another.

We need to love ourselves no matter what. Fat. Skinny. Healthy. Unhealthy.

And while I know my son would never say something to someone’s face about being “fat,” I want to make sure he knows that a person’s size has nothing to do with his or her worth.

Team Flappy Arm

Thank you, Jezebel, for Women Are Still Wondering If It’s OK to Show Arm Flab in the Summer by Tracy Moore.

#TeamFlappyArm

A photo posted by Sheila Hageman (@sheilamhageman) on Aug 5, 2015 at 5:37am PDT

I wish I could say I read her essay and shook my head and said to myself, Oh no! Don’t women know they don’t need to worry about these thing anymore!

But instead I read with that distinctive sensation of knowing I could have written those same words.

In fact, when I read:

And this, I think, it was bugs me more about advice to women to control their bodies and image for others pleasure or approval. The way women are burdened not only with looking good, with eradicating all signs of wear and tear, but also the burden of not making the world unpleasant for others by looking bad. Who suffers when a jiggly arm waves goodbye? Who suffers at the sight of a varicose vein or an untoned thigh? Who really suffers?

I actually raised my arm and waved to see if I could feel that flabby swing.

I quickly lowered my arm as I imagined a stupid social media beauty challenge beginning—a video of yourself waving that proves your arm doesn’t flap: #ArmNoFlappy. I would be #TeamFlappyArm.

And I also know that feeling, though I hate to admit it, of wanting to protect others from me. I know that feeling of not wanting to gross out others by my “unfeminine” qualities.

Like—I better cover up my butt and belly with a towel as soon as I step out of the pool, so as to not make anyone feel uncomfortable with my less than model-perfect abs and ass.

How sad for me that I cannot completely break free of the need to either look a certain way or at least hide myself if I don’t measure up to the standard.

It’s so ingrained. No need for anyone else to body shame me.

I body shame myself.

Knocking Out Body-Shaming

Ronda Rousey, the undefeated UFC Women's Bantamweight Champion, makes a stand against body-shamers. People Magazine reports UFC Champ Ronda Rousey Is Putting the Body-Shamers to Shame –Again.

Some online commentators feel the need to point out that they find Rousey too masculine-looking. We’ve got echoes of the body shaming Serena Williams went through this month. Williams hit back with a bikini shot where she looked anything but masculine.

Rousey explains her attitude her body in an interview:

I grew up thinking that because my body type was common [i.e., athletic], it was a bad thing…Now that I'm older, I've really begun to realize that my body has developed for a purpose and not just to be looked at.

Perhaps if we instill this sense of what our bodies can do rather than what they can look like into young girls, we’ll have a new breed of young women rising up.

Celebrating Diversity! (But are we still seeing the same traditional beauty underneath it all?)

Elizaveta Bulokhova shows us again that no matter what our disabilities or scars are, we can still celebrate ourselves in Model poses in front of the camera for the first time since losing 95% of her jaw to cancer - along with the baby son she was told to terminate before undergoing chemo.

After learning that she had osteosarcoma in her jawbone when she was 24 and pregnant, the model went through with the pregnancy that she was advised against. She had 95% of her jaw removed, gave birth to a healthy baby and has now posed for the first time since the surgery in a collection of stunning imagery, which does not try to hide her scars, but instead—embraces them.

We keep seeing more and more of these body positive messages—love ourselves as we are. And this is truly empowering.

I would add one hesitation at pure feelings of joy: in almost all of these celebrations of diversity, whether it be disability or size or gender-identification, the one steadfast similarity amongst many of these celebratory photo shoots is that the women photographed somehow still fall into a traditional definition of beauty in some way.

Oftentimes the women are models or former models and have either a classically beautiful face or all their curves in just the right places and amount.

Where are the photo shoots of non-traditionally beautiful women in the modern media? Women who maybe didn’t start out drop-dead gorgeous, but still have a right to celebrate…

Who are you calling fat?

Do you feel angry when a thin woman whines, “I’m so fat!”?

Probably, if you think she’s just looking for some praise about how great she really looks.

If you thought that woman might have an eating disorder or body dysmorphic disorder, you’d probably feel compelled to reassure her that she looked good.

Now, how about if someone called you fat?

How would that make you feel? What would be your reaction?

Comedian Chelsea Handler opened up about her experience in: 'He told me I was fat': Chelsea Handler proudly poses in a mismatched bikini as she reveals ex criticized her figure.

I love Handler’s response: "You know, I had a boyfriend who told me my boobs were too big and that I was fat. And then, I looked in the mirror."

She’s become well-known for her love of posting topless shots on Instagram and other social media.

What was most interesting at Daily Mail were the responses to the Handler article. A long series of misogynistic, body-shaming crap…

Not a bad bod but whenever she opens her mouth she ruins it.

Fishing for compliments on social media again I see.

and your ex was right, you still look chubby

Not interested in her at all!

I think she is generally un appealing due to her personality and face. Her body is very average.

She appears to be a healthy weight to me. But this is really about her needing public affirmation so she can feel good about herself.

It is astonishing how the Internet makes people feel so bold as to say the most ignorant comments. I would love to see those same commentators say any of those things to Handler’s face.

I’m sure she’d have a witty response at the ready.

How have you reacted when someone called you fat? Please share!

@MailOnline @chelseahandler #BodyPositive #Fat

What Makes Us Different, Makes Us Beautiful

Rachelle Friedman Chapman, 29, who was paralyzed at her bridal shower when she was playfully pushed into a pool, has stripped down for the cameras: Bride who was paralyzed at her bachelorette party strips down to just her lingerie and her catheter for powerful photoshoot she hopes will 'put a different face to disability.' 

What makes this photoshoot even more powerful besides the fact that she stripped down to lingerie is that she also showed her catheter.

I'm hoping it will inspire others to just focus on the things they love about themselves and not be so critical. I'm encouraging everyone to get on social media and mention something they love about themselves with the hashtag #WhatMakesMeSexy.

We all have something we want to hide or have just accepted as what we need to hide in order to appear “normal” in our society.

We all really want to be accepted and loved just as we are. It is totally human nature to want to receive that validation from others.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to accept what we see as our flaws, but we just need to keep working at it. 

I want to put a different face to disability. We all have flaws [and] we all have things going for us, and for the first time I'm not hiding my catheter. I'm not hiding anymore.

 To not have to hide ever again—what a blessing that would be.

Healthy (and Unhealthy) Bodies Come in All Sizes

Lena Dunham is receiving kudos for sharing a paparazzi photo of her running for an episode of Girls on Instagram. 

She’s makeup free and proudly running. She said:

Not usually one to post a paparazzi shot but this fills me with pride. Basically my whole life I have hated running and run like a wounded baby Pterodactyl. It was embarrassing and honestly I did not trust myself to escape a burning building or even move briskly towards a buffet. @jennikonner is directing the season finale of Girls and decided that as Hannah evolved so would her run, so she got me a training session with Matt Wilpers from Mile High Run Club. Within an hour I had a different relationship to this formerly torturous activity. I felt strong, swift and proud. I'm not about to embrace that triathlon life but it's a true joy to continue getting more connected to my body and its powers. (Extra motivation provided by @manrepeller for @outdoorvoices.) #moveforyourmind

The reason people are praising the shot is because she’s not a waif, but is happily jogging along in exercise wear that proudly displays her body.

Much like the image of plus-size model Erica Schenk that appeared on the August cover of Women’s Running and has been touted for showing that a heavier-set woman can still be fit.

Proudly displaying women of all sizes exercising can go a long way in allowing women who have a myriad of body types feel more comfortable and “allowed” to put on their exercise duds and get out there and moving.

It also goes to show that just because someone is heavier, it doesn’t mean they aren’t healthy.

Of course, the opposite is true. Just because someone is thin, it sure as heck doesn’t mean they could even run for the bus. Take me for instance, I’m relatively thin right now, but seriously out-of-shape.

Perhaps I should post a photo of me in exercise gear huffing and puffing?

3 Body Positive Tips for Talking to Your Kids

Actress Kate Winslet is a body-positive advocate. In Us Weekly’s Kate Winslet: No Women in My Life Were Positive About Body Image, It Was "Very Damaging," readers learn that she felt she never received positive messages as a child.

When I grew up, I never heard positive reinforcement about body image from any female in my life…I only heard negatives. That’s very damaging, because then you’re programmed as a young woman to immediately scrutinize yourself and how you look.

Winslet is being careful to only pass on positive body image messages to her children, which is what I try to do.

USWeekly.com

Here are a few tips on how to speak to your kids about body image from the very start:

1. Don’t be afraid to let your kids see your body naked. If the media keeps showing highly-polished versions of humans for the public’s consumption, we need to make sure kids see what un-photoshopped bodies look like, too, so they grow up with healthy expectations of what different bodies look like.

2. Don’t focus on what your kids look like. Especially with my daughter, I was hyper-vigilant that other people and I didn’t focus on her looks when we complimented her. I still do the same thing, for my boys also. I focus most often on my kids’ personal achievements and positive attributes like intelligence, being a kind person and doing good in the world.

3. Don’t ignore body image issues as they arise. I’m always looking for teachable moments: when my daughter was young and commented on her Wonder Woman figurine’s overly-ample-sized bosom, I talked about how not all women look like that. We talked about how it made her feel and that we need to be aware that what is presented to us as a body “ideal” is not always realistic or attainable.

Always trust your gut when speaking to your kids and try to be as honest as possible while encouraging positive body imagery for your kids.

Naked Parenting

My husband and I have always felt comfortable with our naked bodies in front of our children—one daughter and two sons.

Being nude around them was never a planned, fleshed-out idea, but just more of what felt right and natural as a family.

Just doing a normal naked thing

We have never shied away from our kids seeing us naked because we want them to grow up with a healthy idea of bodies in all forms.

Jess Spiring writing for the Daily Mail explains Why I let my daughters see me (and my family and friends) stark naked: Bonkers? No, Jess says it's the best way to stop them growing up hating their own bodies.

via Daily Mail Online

I couldn’t agree more.

Of course, coming from an ex-stripper, it probably isn’t such a surprise that I believe nudity is OK.

We let them take the lead in what feels comfortable to them. And even though we never try to hide our nakedness, all the kids seem pretty healthy so far. They don’t run out in public and strip off their clothes.

And now that my daughter is reaching puberty, she’s setting her own limits of who can see her naked.

I also always make a point about respecting other people’s bodies and their wishes. If my youngest son wants to poke me in the belly button and it’s bugging me, it’s a great opportunity to teach him respect about other’s wishes when it comes to their bodies.

“That’s bothering me. Please stop,” I say to him when his exploration of my belly button feels intrusive. “Always stop touching someone’s body when they say to.”

It’s never too early to instill in children a sense of naked bodies being normal and natural in private. And to have respect for ourselves and others and to learn about boundaries, about ways that are okay to touch and see and how to love our bodies and others’ with respect and safety.

Body Image Talk is Great, But How Much Better When We (Hopefully) Don’t Need to Do It Anymore

I am all for positive body image and helping others feel good about themselves no matter how they look.

On a good day, I can totally rock that feeling myself.

But on bad days, I curse my wrinkly belly and flabby butt. Like Eva Longoria, I want my twenty-year-old body back.

Photo of Eva Longoria via mysanantonio.com

Not my twenty-year-old life—just the body.

Then I feel guilty for not just loving myself as is, then the guilt multiplies and becomes anger.

I’m happy to see so many actresses and other celebrity people being honest in the news.

File under “Women who get it”: Patricia Arquette: There's more to women than looks in the Belfast Telegraph.

Photo of Patricia Arquette via belfasttelegraph.co.uk/

Arquette articulates this issue well:

I don't want to do anything to my face. But I also reserve the right to do that if I choose to, you know? And without apologising to a million strangers, because even having a conversation about, 'You don't look natural, you did something weird to your face,' we are making it about the way women look…It's none of your f**king business what they look like.

I love that she speaks so honestly about not knowing if one day she might want to change how she looks surgically, but how that is totally up to her.

As long as we put so much emphasis on a woman’s looks, we are only going to move women’s right forward so much.

It’s great that we’re in the cultural phase of openly speaking about all aspects of body image, but I do look forward to (hopefully in my lifetime) the time when we won’t need to talk about it anymore…

Target's Trophy Shirt is Not the Problem

Have you heard about the Target shirt that says “Trophy” in bold white letters across a black tee?

It’s causing a controversy because, you know, women aren’t trophies.

Oh, you knew that already?

So it’s supposed to be a “fun wink” according to Target’s official statement on the issue.

It is never our intention to offend anyone and we always appreciate receiving feedback from our guests. The shirt you’re describing is part of a collection of engagement and wedding shirts that are available in our women’s and plus size departments. The collection also included shirts that say ‘Team Bride,’ ‘Mrs.’ and ‘Bride.’ These shirts are intended as a fun wink and we have received an overwhelmingly positive response from our guests.

My head just kind of aches with the attention this shirt is getting (and yes, I see the irony as I am talking about it now, too).

I mean, I would never wear the shirt because I think it’s stupid. I think a shirt that says “Bride” or “Mrs.” is stupid though too.

There’s even a Change.org petition started over the shirt. 

Personally, I don’t see much use of putting so much energy into fighting a stupid novelty tee-shirt.

Does it promote rape culture? Does it demean women?

Or should everyone just chill out with the politically correct nonsense?

I mean, why are there are no petitions to ban Hooters restaurants? Or the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition?

Those are things that are just as much out there in young girls’ view.

It is not the gag tee-shirt that is the problem, it is the “real,” non-joke items that are marketed and accepted as normal.