Thursday, May 05, 2005

More Than Mom

It is time for me to start my own life up again. I am ready to do this. I know that it isn’t going to be easy and that I am not going to be able to be perfect in everything I do, but I am going to get started.

I do not want to be or have to be the perfect mother, teacher and writer. I am a good mother, teacher and writer. This will be enough for me. I accept that I cannot perform perfectly at all times in all roles.

I will cut myself some slack. Just because I have always felt the need to be perfect at everything I do does not mean I cannot change my mind today. Perhaps the key to my long-term depression is that deep down I am always expecting perfection of myself, but never attaining it. I will work to quiet this conflict within me.

I will still be a mom even if I work outside the home more than I do now. I am not doing anything wrong by needing more in my life besides raising Genevieve. By taking care of my own creative needs I will be modeling how to be a strong and loving woman and mother.

So, there it is. Let me be more than just a mom.

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