Stripper Millionaires--Not!

The New York Post’s December 11th article by Eric Torbenson and Annie Karni—Shaking that moneymaker for 10 grand a night: Jiggle joint’s millionaire strippers share their naughty $ecrets—is pretty disappointing.


First of all, none of the strippers mentioned are “millionaires” by any means, so they stick that in the title and just perpetuate the myth of the uber-wealthy high-class gentlemen’s club stripper.

One stripper, Tali, explains how she made $10,000 from a guy because she told him her his name. And that he just wanted to talk about his troubled marriage.

But from what I’ve experienced, I kind of question Tali saying, “He wanted to know what I thought from a woman’s point of view.”

The thing is that strip club customers don’t think of strippers as “women” per se. It’s more like strippers represent pretty sounding boards that men want to reflect back what they already think.

I remember men talking about what shrews their wives were, like I’d totally get it because I was a stripper and hence must be really “cool” with men being chauvinistic pigs.

If I ever questioned them on their complaints (yes, I know that ruined my tips, but sometimes you’ve got to speak up, even in a strip club), they looked at me like, oh my god, she’s one of them! (“Them” being real women.)

And second of all, what “naughty secrets”?

Is it really any surprise to non-strip club customers that the strippers who make the most money are the ones who are “flirty and persuasive”? Not the ones who have the nicest bodies?

“It’s actually about having an appealing personality and spending your free time reading up on current events so you can engage men in conversation for hours while they fork over money because they feel a personal connection.”

Umm, yeah.

That’s what the serious customers are there for—the illusion that a pretty girl likes them. Just don’t break the illusion by questioning why their wives should have dinner on the table when they walk in the door—just trust me on that one.

Oh, the Drama of Breasts!

The Orange County Register’s Jo Ashline reports on yet another breastfeeding debacle—Nascar driver bashes public breastfeeding, apologizes.

Nascar driver Kasey Kahne expressed himself through a tweet when he saw a mother breastfeeding in public:

"Just walking through supermarket. See a mom breast feeding little kid. Took second look because I was obviously seeing things. I wasn't! I don't feel like shopping anymore or eating."

His tweet did the obvious—offended many and also found supporters of breastfeeding being gross.

Ashline pointed out my beliefs in beautiful words:

“Many responded by pointing out that NASCAR has a reputation of exploiting breasts in campaign ads, and that female fans of the popular racing circuit often dress in a way that leaves little to the imagination, concluding that it's okay for a woman to flaunt her breasts in front of a man as long as they aren't being used for what they were intended: to feed and nurture a child.”

Kahne took to Twitter once again and tried to clean up his ignorance:

"I understand that my comments regarding breastfeeding posted on Twitter were offensive to some people. For that, I apologize. It was in no way my intention to offend any mother who chooses to breastfeed her child, or, for that matter, anyone who supports breast feeding children. I want to make that clear.

In all honestly, I was surprised by what I saw in a grocery store. I shared that reaction with my fans on Twitter. It obviously wasn't the correct approach, and, after reading your feedback, I now have a better understanding of why my posts upset some of you.

My comments were not directed at the mother's right to breastfeed. They were just a reaction to the location of that choice, and the fashion in which it was executed on that occasion.

I respect the mother's right to feed her child whenever and wherever she pleases."

Hmm…sounds mysteriously like some PR person jumped up and typed up a nice response for Kahne. Smoothed out the wrinkles. Tried to tone down any offense.

This all really makes me want to go out in public somewhere and nurse!

Nursing Mothers Unite!

Perezitos applauds the national nurse-in at Target today thanks to a Texas mother who was asked to move to a fitting room when she was discreetly nursing at a local store.

Michelle Hickman vented on Facebook and a mission was begun. The nursing moms who visited over 100 stores across the country found the Target employees ready (and obviously prepped) for them.

All Target employees were friendly and welcoming, but that comes as no surprise. DO you really think they would risk offending a large market share? Not to mention it’s absolutely legal to nurse in public in 45 states!

What’s the most disturbing thing I’ve seen from the reports is that there were a bunch of people (seems like mostly men) who think nursing in public is gross.

Umm…hello?

These are probably the same men who think hooters on display in every other situation should be applauded. It seems some men want boobs to only be their sexual play things and displayed in ways that appeal to their sensibilities—what a shocker.

The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It)

Good news—my Decision-Making Guide and Self-Discovery Journal that will help women to further value their own identities through their quest to understand their motivations for stripping is now available through Smashwords.


You can view a free sample or purchase an e-book version of The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It) in just about any format you can dream of.

For women interested in developing their own life narratives, they will explore how writing their lives and discovering their selves is all part of an ongoing process. The dots are connected between the bonds of body, beauty, and self with which modern women struggle, so that readers may be able to look to themselves for answers to questions of identity.

The print version will be available through Amazon soon!

Giving Birth in Black and White

IVillage has an incredible photo of a baby being born.


The photo by Lynsey Stone, titled "I Love You Baby!" shows a mother and father birthing the baby and is an entry in the National Geographic Photo Contest 2011.

When I first saw the photo I thought it might be fake. It just looks so staged and the mother seems to be playing the part of a woman in labor as opposed to actually experiencing the birth.

I mean, did she hold the baby in while a stylist made sure there were no signs of sweat on her, no hair out of place, no blood or other birth-related real stuff in the shot?

Is this really beautiful or just another example of how we are letting the world into every aspect of our lives as long as it’s been prettied up?

Stripper Moms Paying the Bills

The Huffington Post’s Emma Gray reports on Phone Sex Moms: In Tough Economic Times, More Mothers Turn To Sex Work.


Well, there are always going to be customers, so it makes sense that moms would get in on the money action.

“ABC News reported that over the last year and a half, as the recession has continued to take a toll on employment opportunities, the number of women who have young children engaging in sex work has risen 400 percent. This figure comes from ratracerebellion.com, an organization dedicated to finding mothers at-home work. The numbers seem a bit shocking, but then again, hasn't sex work always been considered a "recession-proof" occupation?”

There are lots of benefits to working at home for moms obviously, but I would think it might dampen a sexy talk if there was a baby crying in the background, unless of course, there was guy into that somewhere…

I think there are definitely women looking into this kind of work who might not have considered it during a better job market. It’s for that exact reason that I wrote The Pole Position: Is Stripping For You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It), which is soon to be released by Every Day Create.

In these uncertain economic times, one of the job possibilities young women (and even moms!) may be curious about is stripping, even though they may never have imagined themselves taking their clothes off for cash before. THE POLE POSITION answers technical, emotional, financial, and moral questions to reveal the truth behind the fiction.

•Are high-end Gentlemen’s Clubs in the city as glamorous as I’ve heard?

• Will my local dive-club be dangerous and demeaning?

• Will I be expected to perform “extras” for the managers?

• Is leaving the stripping world as difficult as some say?

• Am I prepared for the difficulties involved?

• How do I really feel about stripping?

THE POLE POSITION: Is Stripping for You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It) is a Decision-Making Guide and Self-Discovery Journal that will help women to further value their own identities through their quest to understand their motivations for stripping. For women interested in developing their own life narratives, they will explore how writing their lives and discovering their selves is all part of an ongoing process. The dots are connected between the bonds of body, beauty, and self with which all modern women struggle, so that readers may be able to look to themselves for answers to questions of identity.

Each of the 9 chapters is followed by ten questions for review with space to journal answers, which will help women explore their motivations, strengths, and possible weaknesses for survival in the business.

I wonder what other moms’ opinions are about this. How would you feel if you found out your mom friend was making money talking dirty late at night? Or even stripping?

Children in the News

When I see a story like this one on Yahoo, it just makes my mind wobble in shock.

A school has been accused of putting a 9-year-old autistic student in a duffel-like bag as punishment for acting out. The drawstring was pulled tight, alleges his mother, who came upon the scene when she was called to the school.

“At a meeting with school district officials, the bag was described as a "therapy bag," Baker said, though she wasn't clear exactly what that meant. She said her son would sometimes be asked to roll over a bag filled with balls as a form of therapy, but she didn't know her son was being placed in the bag. She said school officials told her it was not the first time they had put him in the bag.”

How could anyone, especially educators, ever put a child into a bag?

This has eerie similarities to the story yesterday about a Chicago father who posted a photo on Facebook of his daughter bound and gagged with duct tape.

Trust me, I know when a child misbehaves there’s a great urge to make them stop. And I’ve been on the edge of sanity sometimes and not known what to do. But help me here, there aren’t really people who think any of this is an okay practice, are there?

I think we’d all agree on the duct tape being so wrong that it’s even frightening to look at the photo. But a school that places autistic children in bags? This can’t be an acceptable practice in anyone’s mind.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little...What?!

The Telegraph is reporting that kids have been banned from making a “star” sign with their hands while singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star because the gesture resembles sign language for vagina and they don’t want anyone to be offended.


One mom said: "It seems a little politically correct. These are innocent little children just making a sign to show a star. No-one would give it a second thought. Now every parent may worry their child may be making an offensive gesture when they're singing this song."

Okay, my big question…why is the word vagina “an offensive gesture”? It’s just a vagina. It’s a body part.

If a sign language user actually saw these kids making little star-like shapes with their hands that in some way resembled the sign for vagina, I think they might think it was kind of cute and funny, but offensive? Hardly.

My daughter at brunch with friends a few weeks ago was showing that she had a kitty scratch on her middle finger. Were my friends offended? No. Amused at her innocence? Yes.

Moving on…

First a Stripper, Next...a Murderer!

KOMO News reports that “A judge in Anchorage has dismissed a murder indictment against Mechele Linehan, who was accused of conspiring to kill her former fiance. Linehan, a former Anchorage stripper who eventually settled in Olympia was convicted in 2007 of killing Kent Leppink, who was shot on an isolated trail 11 years earlier.”

My big question is why does every article related to this story have to point out that Linehan had been a stripper?

It’s like a woman’s past, even if it has nothing to do with her present, needs to be dragged up every time she is mentioned. In this particular case, are we supposed to make some kind of association between strippers and murderers? Like, well, she was a stripper, so you know, that kind of explains it all—she’s immoral, so…she’s a murderer!

It’s not a big jump to make, right? A woman who will take off her clothes for a living will have no problem also arranging a murder.

Watch out folks…I’m on the loose!

Margaret Cho Rocks It!

I love how Margaret Cho can just cut through the crap and get to the heart of a thing.


On her blog today she talks about the whole Lindsay Marilyn Monroe Playboy spread.

While she puts Lindsay in her place with humor regarding the $5,000 purse, and $10,000 cash in said purse, she takes an interesting approach to the photo shoot.

“The sadness I feel about Lindsay has more to do with the media’s casting of her as Marilyn Monroe, swaddled in red velvet, sad eyes and vermillion lips, and a framing of her story as if it has already ended. These magazines constantly show her as if she is already dead and I feel scared and freaked out and mad like why can’t they just give this kid a fucking chance?”

For some reason our society still loves to cast women as the ultimate sex-bomb victim, as if that role is the highest honor to bestow upon a woman.

Why can’t we have iconic sexy female figures in glasses and studying literature?

Why can’t we honor a woman’s sensuality in some other form than bikini model, tragic sex icon, or waif?

Say It Loud and Proud...Vagina!

I’m sorry I’m just finding the article Sperm Trumps Vagina. WTF? by Dr. Lissa Rankin now; it’s awesome!


She totally captures how I feel about the old double-standard of how it’s okay to talk about penises, but not vaginas

I remember a few years ago, when my step-nephew reached his hand down to his wet swim trunks and exclaimed, “I touched my penis!”

Have you ever heard a 4-year-old girl be this proud to announce to the world that she touched her genitals?

I don’t even remember my mom ever naming my vagina for me. It was referred to as “down there” or that place where I pee from. I remember describing it once to my mom as the front of my bottom.

When I had a daughter I decided I would never be afraid to speak up about down there. I made sure to use the name vagina to get her used to it. Let her know it has a name. Vagina.

I mean we take the pride to name little girls’ other parts—knee, elbow, fingers, toes. Why not—vagina?

This is your vagina. It’s where babies are born from.

Maybe one day she’ll reach in her pants and proudly say, “I touched my vulva.” And I will beam poolside.

Of course, I think cute names are okay, too. In everyday speak, we call the vagina the nina.

And I never squirm from explaining the answers to her questions. She already knows that she will one day get a period, too. And a week ago, she decided it was time to practice. So she put a panty liner in her panties for the night.

How can I expect my daughter to feel healthy and comfortable about her body if her mother doesn’t? I strive every day to find new ways to accept how I feel about my body. Every part of it.

To Strip Or Not To Strip

Me, a few weeks before Tommy

Interesting piece by Ronnie Koenig, Baring the Belly: Why I posed nude while pregnant on Babble.


Koenig examines her feelings about her body throughout her life and determines that all women should pose nude while pregnant.

I won’t go so far as to suggest that—there are some women whom I’m sure are just fine without posing nude in their lifetimes. And, of course, Koenig is only speaking of a healthy, beautiful, loving experience with a qualified photographer.

I do kind of regret not having nudes of me while pregnant. It would be pretty cool to compare my body back when I was in perfect shape (but thought I was fat) with my blossoming belly (and thighs) of my pregnant body.

But I actually adored my body while pregnant. I wore tighter-fitting clothes and sexier outfits when I was pregnant. I felt freed from any perfect standards I forced myself into when not pregnant. It was quite exhilarating to dress trying to accent my belly rather than hide it.

Now that I’m no longer pregnant, I’m back to my old ways. Wearing loose-fitting jeans and shirts and doing my best to cover myself up again.

Perhaps what moms should do is photograph themselves right after giving birth. I did this just because I knew my belly would have to get better eventually and I’d be able to look back and say, thank goodness.

Hmm, why would I want to save photos of my poor, wrinkly flesh after having been stretched to the limit for nine months and then suddenly deflated? Perhaps as evidence of all the sacrifices I made for my children.

Two weeks post-partum belly. My belly button totally popped out and it looked like a nose.

These are my war wounds; and I'm not ashamed.

Women Living Large

I love Kristen Houghton’s, author of “And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness,” post on Huffington Post today: Weight: Why One Size Doesn't Fit All.

Houghton is clearly a Stripper Mom as she explains how she used to be the “fat girl,” but that it’s something that most people don’t know about her. She doesn’t go around announcing it to everyone she meets, but she sees that it does affect her today and she’s not ashamed to “admit” her past.

She was fortunate enough to meet an inspiring professor in college who helped her to embrace the body she had as she worked on creating a new relationship to herself; it is through that process that she ended up losing the excess weight.

It definitely seems like times are changing for women when I look around. There obviously is still a bias toward slender women in the media, but I think there’s change brewing.

Ah…I foresee a world where women can live as themselves, being just who they are, looking the way they look, and feeling good about themselves.

We won’t be afraid of our pasts, our presents, or our futures.

Christmas Wishes

The Christmas spirit wants to fill me, wants to deck my halls, wants to skip through fields of Christmas trees.

And my children wouldn’t mind if the Christmas spirit paraded me through a toy store with credit card in hand.

But as most people are this year, we’re trying to reign in the joy, well, not the joy, but the spending.

The old age question arises, which would you rather have as a child? A bunch of small gifts or one big special thing that you really want?

I’m trying to find a happy medium—a special something that’s kind of spectacular and a bunch of cool, inexpensive doo-dads. That’s what I think I would have liked. There’s just something so spectacular about seeing a big old pile of shiny boxes under the tree in the morning.

We all want to know that our needs are going to be met.

And it’s just kind of cool when we discover that (sometimes, not always) our desires will be heard and met, too.

JWoww's Greatest Dream

Gossip Cop quotes Jersey Shore’s JWoww on posing for Maxim magazine’s January 2012 issue as being “probably my highest accomplishment.”


My immediate reaction is of ridicule, but we have certain definitions of success that (hopefully) change a bit as we age, huh?

I remember when I was in my twenties that getting a part in a show or just imaging my big dreams of landing a part in a movie coming to fruition were my biggest aspirations.

It’s interesting what we see as being our highest accomplishments when we’re in our twenties, isn’t it?

It’s a bit sad that many women (the old me included) see appearing on a magazine cover in a bikini as our greatest achievement.

I know though that there are many women who do not need the hindsight of experience to realize there are many greater aspirations.

The question maybe should be, what can we do as a society to encourage women to hold greater dreams from their childhoods forward?

Are People Involved in Porn Inherently Bad?

Perez Hilton reports on Perezitos about how an “Ex Gay Porn Actor Tried To Teach High School, But Fox News Put An End To That!”


This man, Kevin Hogan, who was in three gay porn films eventually moved on to another career—English teacher. And now that parents and the school has found out about his past, there is outrage.

Perez Hilton thinks it goes to him being gay, but I would strongly disagree with that. To me, it sounds like the problem is that he chose to be in porn at all. He is now on paid leave.

I want to know why what someone did in their past, which isn’t illegal, has any bearing on who they are today and what they are capable of. Even better, even if someone was involved in something illegal, why should that matter if they are a different person today?

I am proud of who I am today, but I refuse to hide my past. Yes, I was a stripper. Yes, there are photographs of me in the world.

But I am a good mom. And I am a good English teacher. But no, I was not born those things. It is my past that created the woman I am today.

Our pasts help define us, but do not have the final word. Who we are today is what matters; what we have created from our pasts and what we’ve decided to give to the world is what matters.

Multitasking Moms

Joan Raymond in MSNBC’s Vitals’ Section looks at new research that shows moms are multitasking about ten hours more a week than dads and not so happy doing it.

“Moms are more likely to get stuck with labor-intensive housework or childcare activities, while dads generally multitask by talking to several people at once or performing self-care. Dads are also more involved in kids' recreational activities.”

This is something most moms I know are experiencing firsthand. I wouldn’t say it’s even anything the dads are meaning to do, in fact, most dads I know are extremely hands-on and involved in the household responsibilities But perhaps it’s true that the dads tend to focus on the more “fun” household tasks where the moms feel responsible for the nitty-gritty details like switching out too-small clothes for bigger ones, washing dishes, and making sure he diaper bag has everything needed in it before the family walks out the door.

“To help ease the strain, the authors suggest sharing the load by getting dad more involved in the mundane aspects of home and child care.”

How does your family handle the challenges of balancing out daily mundane household chores?

Celebrity Momster

I started a new blog to gripe about celebrity moms at Celebrity Momster.

I am very liberal and all about letting everyone be themselves and do their thing, but there’s still this urge I have to point at others and say, oh my god!

And those people are often celebrity moms.

Sometimes it’s just fun to say, Suck It!

Ex-Porn Star Can Read!

I’m not surprised that an ex-porn star, Sasha Grey, reading to children in a public school is being reacted to negatively.

What I am surprised about is that no one has shown any surprise that an ex-porn star can actually read! I mean, come on, anyone involved in the adult business must be illiterate, too, right?

The hypocrisy that this news bite shines light on seems to go completely unnoticed.

Why does it matter what this woman used to do for a living? She was invited because she’s a mainstream actress now. Why can’t we let go of people’s pasts?

And why is it such a big deal that she used to have sex on film? If you hadn’t noticed, people are having sex all over the world! Guess what? It’s what creates babies and you know, perpetuates the species and all.

How can we be so judgmental about how a person chooses to have sex when it isn’t harming anyone else?

The woman came and read to students in a classroom. She did not promote her former sex tapes. She did not have sex with the children.

She read books.

Get over it already.

We Learn From Others’ Strengths

The truth that when we are feeling down we should look to others, give to others, has always resonated with me. Of course, it can be hard to look outside ourselves when we are in certain depressed states.


As a mother who can never take a day off, it can feel even harder and more unfair, even when we know we have it pretty good.

Karon Brown’s story was the inspiration I needed today. She is a former crack dealer, stripper, drug user and—a mother.

She has been through recovery more than once, but now finds herself in a good place. She is an addiction counselor and she is writing.

Every time a stripper or former stripper proves to do something positive with their lives, I glow a bit.

Every time the old stereotypes about strippers fall down for a moment, I sigh a happy moment of relief.

Stripper. Drug dealer. Druggie. You name it. Everyone’s got something in their past that others may look down on. But isn’t what matters what one thinks of oneself? And isn’t what will be remembered the good that we make of our entire lives, not just one moment?

Have a Stripperific Halloween!

Is-halloween-too-scary-or-too-sexy

Since when is Halloween the opportunity for kids to let out their inner stripper?


Perhaps we lived in a different era back when I was a kid in the 70’s. There were no “Halloween” stores for buying premade costumes. Either your mom sewed together a sad-looking bunny costume for you or you took a sheet and cut out a few eye holes.

A quick walk through the Halloween store at the Westfield Shopping Center in Milford with my three children was more like a let’s-get-the-hell-out-of-this-sex-shop rampage.

There were aisles and aisles of slutty this and slutty that. Fishnet stockings, stripper stilettos, and every Slutty McSlutty outfit you could imagine. And the short skirts and suggestive attire was not kept to just the adult costumes—no, even the Strawberry Shortcake outfit for a girl had a certain cheesecake appeal to it.

Thank god my kids were more freaked out by the over-the-top grotesque and scary outfits to notice all the slut fierceness surrounding them.

Cole softly murmured, “Let’s get out of here; let’s get out of here…” and I was more than happy to oblige.

Since when does everybody want to pretend to be a stripper on Halloween? And why?

Minka Kelly's Stripper Mom and Archie Comics

There are lots of recaps floating around the Internet this week about the actress Minka Kelly’s Las Vegas Stripper Mom.

The gist of her thoughts toward her “gorgeous” mother was that she wished she’d been more of a mom rather than a friend, but Kelly doesn’t seem to harbor any bad feelings about her mother having been an exotic dancer.

I’m hoping my daughter will be as easily forgiving. Of course, I’m not working as a stripper now, but as Genny is becoming more aware of the world around her, I know I will need to address the issue eventually.

She actually just discovered Archie comics a few weeks ago when I bought some at a tag sale. She’s already loving Betty and Veronica. I’m trying to remember what I made of all their boy-craziness when I began reading them as a girl. I think I was about her same age when I started.

Well, perhaps the Archies will be a good preview for her about how girls and boys can be silly sometimes. As far as I know, there aren’t any stripper moms in Archies though. Not so far at least.


Photo courtesy of Susie B of Freedigitalphotos.net.

Baby’s Growing Up

I’ve been so busy that I’ve barely had time for blogging. Genny and Cole’s school has phase-in this week, but next week they’ll be back on their regular schedule.

Tomorrow is baby’s first birthday.

I’ve really been struck lately, meaning the last few months, how many amazing things are going on with my children. I keep wanting to record all the little changes, but the days keep getting away from me before I can save these mementos.

Like Cole is now speaking not only in sentences, but paragraphs. His favorite words are: actually, nope, and zoombah, as in: “I love you Mommy, zoombah.”

Genny is convinced I don’t love her, but I do like her. If I gave her chocolate every Wednesday though, then that would mean I love her.

And Thomas climbed up the entire flight of stairs before we realized it. He can walk holding on to the living room table.

And me? I’m trying to do too much as usual. Teach for two colleges, get my manuscript ready for publication, work on my other three or seven major writing projects, plan out the possibility of starting a small press.

And, oh yeah—get used to the fact that no matter what I seem to do, my stomach just wants to poof out like a mushroom. And remind myself that I shoudn’t care about something like that anymore.

Gape Seed: A Poetry Anthology

I received my contributor copies of Gape Seed: A Poetry Anthology by Uphook Press.

My first book!

I have a poem titled "Leaving Me" included.

I'll let you know about upcoming readings.

If you'd like to purchase a signed copy, just let me know!

Excuse Me While I Have Sex, I Mean—Nurse My Baby…

It’s the old double-standard, or is it?



After I read about James Hazell, a BBC radio host, comparing breastfeeding in public to him having sex with his wife in a restaurant, I had to look into what his comments were. I felt outraged if what I heard was true, that women shouldn’t be allowed to breastfeed in public because, just like sex, it’s something that should be done in private.



After reading this article, I feel his comments may have been taken slightly out of context. While it is true that he doesn’t feel comfortable with public nursing, his comment about sex was in response to a woman saying breastfeeding was: “the most natural thing in the world.”



While I agree, Hazell’s comment makes sense in context: “Next time you are out having a meal at a restaurant, on the basis that it [breastfeeding] is the most natural thing in the world, I will come in there with my wife and then make love right in front of you. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, and that is fine, but there are a lot of natural things we don’t do in public.”



Yes, Mr. Hazell, I see your point. The “it’s natural” argument could open the door for people doing many socially-unaccepted things in public (masturbation, picking one’s nose, farting loudly, etc.), but when it comes to breastfeeding, it’s about nourishing a child; it’s not about satisfying some personal compulsion or something that could be put on hold until later.



When a child is hungry, he or she needs to eat. When one feels like having sex, one can (hopefully) wait until a room becomes available.

Stripping Down

I’m sorry I haven’t blogged here in awhile; I’ve been busy with my new blog Every Day Create.


I have great news though—my memoir Stripping Down is going to be published by Pink Fish Press.


I’ll give you more details soon!

A Stripper Mom at 48

Danielle Staub: Good-Bye ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’, Hello Strip Club

Danielle, 48, has just signed a three-year contract with Scores Gentleman’s Club in NYC, TMZ reports, along with NSFW photos of Danielle on a stripper pole.

I’ve never seen the show The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but I’ve heard little flashes of it in the news.

I’m kind of impressed that Scores hired a 48-year-old mom as a stripper. Sure, they only did it for publicity sake, but still.

And I’m pretty amazed that Danielle Staub is confident enough to strip in Scores at 48-years-old.

I worked at Scores when it first opened. I was actually there on its opening day.

Scores is like the Cirque du Soleil of strip clubs—flashy, gimmicky, and full of people you kind of want to look at because they’re so beautiful and exotic, but kind of don’t want to look at because they’re so unreal-looking as to be a bit bizarre.

Perhaps Staub will fit right in.

Porn found in bin Laden hideout, officials say

I have to admit I find it humorous to imagine US officials studying the porn found in Bin Laden’s hideout for secret messages.

The U.S. has found so much pornography in the possession of al-Qaida operatives during previous raids that it spurred investigations into whether porn photos were being used to send coded messages, a former U.S. counterterrorism official told NBC News.

It is moments such as these when I stop and wonder who is in possession of naked photos of me.

Could naked photos of me be carrying secret messages across enemy lines?

Nah, probably just being used for “artistic” purposes!

Every Day Create!

I'm happy to launch my new website today: Every Day Create!

My life is so chaotic right now: 3 kids, teaching, writing.

I decided I need to create a goal to keep me centered every day.

I've had such good success this year with my commitment to work on my writing every day, so I figured, what if I applied that commitment to other areas?  Like my well-being! It’s just as important.

I believe we have the power to create our lives, but I have a hard time living into that.

One of my life challenges has always been not feeling like I’m allowed to fully live, really be myself—because I’m a bit worried people will see the real me, and well, not like me.

What if no one likes me? So what?!

I give myself permission to create my self out loud!

I devote myself to creating that self I’ve always wanted to be—bold, outrageous, joyful, and fun!

I’ll give myself (and you, if you so choose to accept the challenge) goals each week to create something totally new and unique. We won’t be staying in out comfort zone.

Join me.

Create your own daily goal every day, or use mine, or just watch what unfolds in the background until you’re ready to join in.

Every morning I’ll shoot my vlog, make my daily intention known to you—get it out of my head and into the world.

I’ll report back to you in the evening by blog to let you know how I did on following through.

Share your creation goals, too. Either vlog it or blog it in the comments section of my vlog.

Or you can just ditto if you’re going to try my goal of the day. The important thing is that you put it out there so you have someone else besides yourself counying on you.

Be sure to check back in later to let us all know your progress.

So that’s the general idea for now. I’ll tweak things as we go.

But I don’t want to wait to get started anymore.  I hold back on so many things because I always want things to be perfect.

No more!  Time to grab life and begin.

Let’s do it! Every day create!

Madonna is to Strippers like Sprinkles Are to Ice Cream

There's a short piece on Salon by Christine Macdonald today that really brought me back to the old days.

She's a former stripper turned writer and she talks about dancing to Madonna.

A part of me wants to shout out--What?!  YOU strippeed to Madonna, too?!  What a coincidence!  I did, too!

And her descriptions are so dead-on.  I danced to "Like a Prayer" also! 

I vogued on stage, too! 

And, I felt so cool and sexy doing it.  Madonna really brings out your inner-stripper.

But most importantly, Macdonald's writing reminds me that I was not and am not the exception.  There were and are a lot of other intelligent strippers (and ex-strippers, thank you very much) out there.

And you know what else?  There are good people still in the world...

I saw a lady driving by our house this week, pull over, get out of her car, pick up a leaf basket that was blown into the road, and carry it up into a lawn.  She paused, looked back at the road as if she were considering how windy it was, and then brought the basket further up into the lawn.

Then she got in her car and drove away. 

I actually said out loud as she drove away, "You've restored my faith in humanity."

Smart strippers and considerate drivers.  What a world!

Stripper Wisdom Graphic Memoir Excerpt

I have an excerpt from a graphic memoir I'm working on in Xenith Magazine.

Check out "My Other Nudie Jobs: Nude Housekeeper!"

Jet Fuel Review Spring Issue

I have a poem in Jet Fuel Review's premier issue.

Check it out here!

Prime Mincer

I have a graphic memoir piece published in Prime Mincer's debut issue.

I received my contributor copies--it's a very well-done literary journal.

If you'd like to purchase, please click through my Amazon button!

Mom, 3 children die when van goes into Hudson River

I know when I get overwhelmed with being a mother I sometimes feel like ending it all.  My depression can bubble up and rage through me.  I can feel like driving away and never coming back.

It can be a very scary feeling of being out of control.  Fortunately for me, I have a supportive husband and other support systems in place.  I know if I ever feel really crazed that there are people to turn to for help.

Unfortunately, for this mother, she was not able to find a way through her torment.

I don't know anything else besides what is in this article on MSNBC.  There was a domestic dispute.  Then she drove her car with her four children away, letting out the ten-year-old on the way to the river.  He then ran to the fire station and alerted them to what their mother was doing.

What makes this story hit me even harder is that her three children that died were all right about the same ages as my children.

To think of their final moments is to imagine my own three children in a situation like that.  I cry just imagining this.

I don't say this often, but my thoughts and prayers go out to this family, their friends, the whole town.  Our whole world.

No one should ever have to feel so hopeless. 

And before all the voices of, "Oh, what a horrible mother!  How could she?!" start exploding--I'd just like to ask that we stop and imagine how deeply disturbed this poor woman must have been to have been able to commit this act.

My heart goes out to them all.  May they rest in peace.

The Fertile Source

Check out my poems at The Fertile Source, a literary ezine devoted to fertility-related topics.

At the end of the poems there's a link to an interview with me by Tania Pryputniewicz.

Enjoy!

New Stripper Mom

Baby born outside Arlington strip club was first delivery for rescue crew

This is a delivery to remember.

Mom-to-be and Dad-to-be were zipping to a Texas hospital when they got pulled over for speeding. After the delay (and might I add, no police escort to the hospital) they got back on the road to head for the hospital.

Labor was progressing quickly and when they called 911, they were instructed to pull over into the nearest parking lot. That just so happened to be a Flashdancers strip club parking lot.
Hmm…there were NO other parking lots to choose from?

The father’s best coaching included this bit of wisdom:

“She kept saying, ‘The baby’s coming, the baby’s coming!’ And I was like, ‘No, it’s not, not unless you open your legs,’” Martinez said. “That was the line I kept getting teased about.”

Luckily, the paramedics arrived and delivered baby in the ambulance.

“Then we kind of breathed a big sigh of relief,” Wynn said, “and then I realized I had a lot of paperwork to do.”

My Other Nudie Jobs

Check out my graphic memoir piece called "My Other Nudie Jobs: Cocktail Waitress," at Foliate Oak Literary Journal.

I was having a lot of fun working on these graphic memoir pieces, but the dining room table where I was working has now become a changing table for the baby.

Just another way my children prevent me from being creative!

I'm getting the itch to start writing some more though; baby may just have to get chnaged on the floor.

Breast Milk Ice Cream

Nothing says yummy like breast milk ice cream.

According to The Examiner website there’s an ice cream shop serving up homemade ice cream infused with local women’s breast milk.

And what’s this flavor called? Why, Baby Gaga, of course.

I wonder if American ice cream parlors could get away with this. And would there be a market for it?

I suspect there are plenty who would line up for this icy treat.

Just as the customers slapped their five-dollar-bills down for a splash of breast milk in their drinks at The Hideaway strip club in Stamford twenty years ago. Yup, it was the old lactating-stripper-mother-squirts-milk-shots-into-your-glass trick.

That’s one thing I haven’t tried yet. Making money off my breast milk. I don’t think Thomas would approve.

Skating Lessons

Genny and I had a girls’ day on Sunday. I hoped a little alone time might help us bond a little.

It’s unbelievable how many issues came up for me as I skated in slow ellipses.

First of all, Wonderland of Ice is where I used to go when I was a girl, so I was hyperaware of everything that’s changed and even more of what hasn’t changed over the decades.

I could see myself in the preteen girls huddled and giggling, more concerned about how they looked on the ice than whether they were having fun or not.

The music made me want to boogie, which of course got my hips shaking and made me self-conscious of my movements. Do I ice dance like a stripper?

I tried to keep my body from moving so as not to embarrass my daughter, but I think I did myself a disservice—as I often do in the name of public decency.

Why am I always so concerned about what others think of me? It’s not like I wanted to gyrate my hips, I just wanted to glide and shake. I’m afraid I’m bottling my sense of self because of worries of what others will think of me.

Genny was having a marvelous time as all these thoughts raced through my mind. Of course, she was doing ice-shuffling and I was unable to ever leave her side, so I really didn’t have the opportunity to let my body open up on the ice.

But I also thought of how much I do love to perform. Although I’ve never taken ice skating lessons, I have a sense of wanting to imitate the moves. I feel that I would be good with a few lessons.

I don’t want to do triple axles or anything, but I’d love to be able to turn a little, spin, glide, embellish with my arms.

And then here comes my inner critic again.

You’re too old. You’d embarrass yourself. Why start something new now? Who has the time? Why bother doing something if your aim is not to be the best?

I would love to have a hobby. My life just doesn’t afford me the time.

If I could, I’d love to take ice skating lessons. And I’d love to wear a cute little skating outfit with a skirt. I’d twirl and beam. Not for anyone else (honestly, I wouldn’t want anyone else to watch), but for the joy of dressing up, playing, and gliding to the rhythm my body so desperately wants to join.

Religion focus of custody fight involving former exotic dancer turned devout Jew

Now there’s a headline I never thought I’d see: Religion focus of custody fight involving former exotic dancer turned devout Jew.
But as I read the article what I find most interesting is that there’s a question about this woman’s ability to raise her son since she was an exotic dancer, but there’s no issue about the father having been a strip club manager.

“The question here is who is the better decision-maker,” the father’s attorney, Joel Brodsky, said in his brief opening statements before Cook County Circuit Court Judge John Thomas Carr Wednesday. Brodsky said before the hearing that he intends to bring up Margolina’s days as an exotic dancer — and her subsequent conversion to devout Judaism — to show the court that she “tends toward extremes.”

Now if that isn’t a double standard, I don’t know what is.

Taking My Bra Off

I just finished teaching my online writing class and realized how much I like teaching. I mean, it’s not like I just realized it, but I had one of those classes where I just have so much fun.

Even though I have a cold and a scratchy throat, or actually maybe because I feel sick, I was more “myself” somehow than I always am. It’s like, when I’m not feeling well, I give myself permission to be a bit goofy and let my real personality out instead of trying to be a “teacher.”

And I think my students had a fun time, too, which is pretty important when you’re dealing with a lesson on formal outlines and plagiarism.

This wasn’t even what I was going to talk about tonight, but somehow this is what came out.

I was going to talk about how I really felt like Stripper Mom tonight. When we sit down to dinner lately, I usually take off my bra so it’s easier to nurse Tommy at the table. No pulling down my bra cup or having to keep adjusting.


Tonight I had a bit of difficulty shimmying my arms down the tight sleeves to free my arms from my bra straps. I saw myself in the kitchen mirror as I wrestled my arms out, bare breasts looking strange with my family reflected in the background.


And I thought how kind of silly it was—me taking off my bra for dinner and no one in the family even batting an eye at this strange little pre-dinner ritual.


It’s kind of like: What does your mom do right before dinner?


Take off her bra and pop out her boob and nurse the baby…and yours?