Time Magazine Provokes Conversation with Breastfeeding Mom Cover

Here’s mom, 26-year-old Jamie Lynne Grumet, breastfeeding her son on Time magazine’s cover.

It certainly got the attention of moms everywhere. The article accompanying the somewhat controversial photo is all about attachment parenting and has a profile of Dr. William Sears.

While I think the cover was designed precisely to stir up strong emotions from both camps, I don’t have a problem with the cover photo.

I think the headline: Are You Mom Enough? is more controversial, but once again, controversy is where it’s at if you want to get noticed today.

The big question becomes what kind of conversation this photo will open.

Hopefully, there won’t just be lots of attacks and silly comments from people, but maybe there will be some setting aside of preconceived notions and judgments from moms on both sides of the issue so we can examine how our ideas of attachment parenting versus “modern” parenting are just that—ideas.

Can we finally set aside what “method” of parenting is right or wrong and simply find a way to support all parents in raising their children in the best way each family sees right for them?

"Glam-Me" National Moms Night Out Event

 I'll be speaking at the Mommy's Links sponsored event "Glam-Me" Girls Night Out tonight.

Celebrating NATIONAL MOMS NIGHT OUT, focusing in WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT!

Thursday, May 10, 2012
6:00 PM TO 10:00 PM
The Society Studios
317 Rutledge Street
Brooklyn, NY 11206
(Between Harrison Avenue and Broadway)

And just for being my friend and all, you can purchase discounted tickets today as a VIP guest!

I hope to see you there!

Why is Porn Seen as the Best Option for these Moms?

Perhaps because Mother’s Day is right around the corner, there are a lot of controversial moms in the news this week.

Another porn star/mother is Alana Evans, who appeared on Dr. Drew’s HLN show May 1st and was reported on the Huffington Post.

"Porn saved my life. It gave me a way to be with my son, to be with him every day after school," Evans said. "It gave me enough to take care of myself to take care of him, to pay our bills without being on welfare and stay off public assistance."

“Evans even came to the defense of "Octomom" Nadya Suleman, who shortly after filing bankruptcy, has reportedly signed on to star in a masturbation video for extra money.

"Any woman who's willing to do whatever she has to to take care of her children -- even if that means doing porn -- good for her," Evans said. "Other people may not agree with it, but ... in reality she is putting her kids first."”

I totally support women doing what they need to do to make ends meet as long as they feel good about what they are doing and not harming anyone.

Perhaps the big issue that isn’t being addressed is that porn is the best option these women see for themselves as a way to make enough money to support their kids and spend time with them.

Why is that? Why are there not better options for working mothers?

Can a Porn Star Be a Good Mom?

20/20’s theme Friday was “True Confessions,” which wouldn’t be complete without an adult entertainer of some sort.

ABC News introduces us to Natalie Oliveros, mom to 10-year-old Luchino, who is a porn star know as Savanna Samson.

"My life means nothing without, without him," Oliveros said. "Everything that I've done in my life, all the choices I've made, will one day benefit him instead of being a shameful thing for him."

We also have “Octomom” Nadya Suleman in the news this week saying that she might consider doing porn in order to provide for her children: Octomom Nadya Suleman Reevaluates Porn.

So the question everyone’s discussing: Can an adult entertainer be a good mother?

Well, let’s take a look at what really matters—is the mother providing for her family, raising her children to be good people, and being true to herself?

If a mother can say yes to all these questions, then I don’t see what the problem is. Being an adult entertainer is a legal job. Yes, it’s a job that requires a level of openness with one’s sexuality that not all people have, but if the woman is not harming others, why should it matter?

"I'm just an entertainer, and this is how I choose to entertain," Oliveros said. "And, morally speaking, that's what's confusing about me, is that I do have morals. And yet, it's contradictory, I guess, by the industry I'm in."

We all have different morals and those morals even change over time. But that’s just it—they are our morals, no one else’s to decide for us.

As adults, we all have “secrets” we don’t come right out and share with our children when they are too young to understand. And if we’re parents, we’ve all pretty much probably had sex at some point in our lives. Sex and children kind of go hand-in-hand.

So to jump to the conclusion that just because someone has sex for money on film that they can’t be a good parent just doesn’t add up. To attach our own “values” surrounding sexuality and what it should look like is unfair.

We all make choices and yes, there may be repercussions for adult entertainers in the form of more explaining that needs to be done for our children. But in the long run, sexuality is a complicated issue no matter whether we are or have been strippers or porn stars or are just moms who have more traditional careers.

Gypsy Rose Lee: A Burlesque Performer and a Mom

What a wonderful reminder by Amanda Crum that a woman can have it all.

In “Gypsy Rose Lee: Portrait Of A Burlesque Mom: Icon proved women can do it all” in WebProNews, Crum highlights Gypsy Rose Lee in a new and enlightening way.

Besides being a burlesque entertainer, Lee was a mother, even traveling with her son while she performed across the country.

“Burlesque performers are often still criticized and misconstrued for what they do, sadly, especially if they have children. Lee, who died of lung cancer in 1970, is a strong reminder to everyone that women can be free with their sexuality and still be witty, intelligent, wonderful mothers.”

What a needed reminder for us all today as former porn stars are being fired from teaching jobs because of their pasts.

Perhaps some critics may say that there is an overall difference between burlesque performers of yore and modern day porn stars and strippers, but I disagree.

As with anything, there is something to be said for not judging a book by its cover. To simply group all people of one occupation into one category is extremely short-sighted.

And for those who would say there is a wrong message being sent by a mother who has in the past (or even present) performed in some sexually-free way, I would simply question why adults cannot have separate lives outside their children.

If a parent is living their life with integrity and teaching by example what it is to be a good and loving person then why should it matter what they do or did for a living?

We are sexual beings; remember, that’s how we came to have children in the first place.

Heidi Klum Poses Nude? Boring!

Thank you Jenni Maier at Crushable for telling it like it is when it comes to naked celebrities: Heidi Klum’s Nude Photo Shoot Makes UsWonder If Going Naked Is The New Wearing Clothes.

Heidi Klum recently posed nude for the new beauty brand Astor, wearing nothing but confidence and colorful body paint. A few years ago this photo would have shocked the country, caused us to loosen our apron strings and exclaim, “good gracious, the supermodel’s not wearing any clothes.”

But now everyone from Jessica Simpson to a woman known best as Octomom’s stripping down to get more media coverage. If everyone’s taking off their clothes to get attention, it kind of defeats the point of posing nude. Cool, you have a body. It’s not that shocking. Even if you’re pregnant, it’s not that shocking.

It’s so true that the whole shock value of posing nude has passed. Actually, I think the excitement of nude women has long vanished. I remember my days posing nude for photographers outside in New York City. There were many times I’d be standing there buff as a naked mole rat and most people would walk right by without batting an eyelash.

True, it was New York, but still…

I guess now that just about everyone poses nude it’s just not that exciting anymore. I’m not sure what the next celebrity trend will be to get attention. Perhaps doing something of value?

Nah—let’s not get crazy!

Women Who Love Themselves Will Conquer the World

I love this blog post, Fatkini2012, on Gabifresh.

 

This is what I’m talking about when I say women need to love the bodies they have and just be bold and beautiful.

 

As always, I truly encourage you guys to get to the beach (or a pool) this summer--don't let body shame keep you from having a good time! I don't expect everyone to feel comfortable in a two piece, but hopefully I can inspire some of you to take the plunge. I can't tell you how freeing it is to just have fun without worrying about what other people think.

 

How amazing would this world be if all women felt free enough to wear whatever they wanted and love their bodies as is.

 

Do you think that effect would spill over into other areas of life? The freer and more physically okay we feel about ourselves might spill over into us feeling awesome about all our talents?

 

Fatkinis for all! Grey hairs take pride! Wrinkles be damned!

Watch out boardrooms and schools and financial empires…we are coming for you with all our awesomeness in all its various forms!

Let’s just love ourselves, ladies! And conquer the world!

Pink Fish Press Reflects on Writing and Publishing

The publisher of Stripping Down, Pink Fish Press, is highlighted on Elena Hartwell's blog Arc of a Writer today.

Check out what my publisher Renda Dodge and my editor Sarah Martinez have to say about writing and publishing.

And tune back in on May 1st for an interview with me in Arc of a Writer!

Teacher/Former Porn Actress Fired

Here we go again.

The latest teacher to be fired for having a past—Stacie Halas.

According to the Huffington Post, “A Southern California science teacher was fired Wednesday night for performing in a pornographic video, school district officials said.”

Halas had performed as a porn actress before becoming a teacher, so I find it difficult o understand legally how this can impact her career as a teacher now.

The problem apparently stems from the fact that some students became aware of a video available online. 

Perhaps the problem lies with the students and the parents who were not more aware of what their children were doing on the Internet.

It seems we slide into dangerous territory when we begin deciding that a woman’s past occupation should determine her present situation. All accounts are that she was a good teacher.

Just because women were once employed in the adult entertainment business doesn’t mean they can’t go on to pursue other work.

You’d think that people would be happy to see that porn actresses and strippers can make something of themselves with their clothes on.

There should be no disgrace in our pasts.

And there should be no discrimination just because some of that past “work” can be found on the Internet.

Man and Woman Strip Down at Airport: One Gets Arrested; One Must be Mad

Thank you, Gothamist, for sharing the latest person willing to strip down in the name of, well, stripping down: Man Protests TSA Screening By Stripping Naked, Gets Arrested.

John Brennan took a stand against the TSA’s screening process by making it easier for the agents to see he meant no harm. Unfortunately for Brennan, his performance ended in his arrest for indecent exposure and disorderly conduct.

I find it interesting, as does Gothamist, that when a woman did the exact same thing last week at Denver International Airport, she was taken to a hospital for a mental health evaluation.

Brennan allegedly refused repeated orders to put his clothes on, and later told authorities he is a frequent flier who "disrobed as a form of protest against TSA screeners who he felt were harassing him." According to the Portland law enforcement report, "Mr. Brennan's actions caused two screening lanes to be closed and while some passengers covered their eyes and their children's eyes and moved away from the screening area, others stepped out of the screening lanes to look, laugh and take photos." 

So I’m just kind of curious what the differences were in these two strippers’ circumstances. Is it simply that a woman stripping down in public as a form of protest must be mad while a man doing the same must be a pervert?

And for all the hubbub about parents covering their children’s eyes I must ask—why? Haven’t kids seen plenty of naked humans before? It’s not like the naked people were involved in sexual acts. I would much rather my children see some naked protesters in real-life situations than airbrushed bikini models on magazine covers at the grocery store.