Erotic Ballerina Addicted to Drugs Finds Memoir

From xo Jane: Caitlin Thomas writes in WHAT IT'S REALLYLIKE: I'M A DRUG-ADDICTED STRIPPER: Empowerment comes in the front door when I can make rent in a singular evening. Yet, it leaves through the back door when I blow it all on pills.

I like this woman’s honesty, but it does make me wonder what the correct response is from the reader.

Should we be happy that she’s coherent enough to string together words?

Should we rub our hands together with glee because we knew all along that strippers were all a bunch of druggies?

Should we think it’s so cool and edgy to write about one’s own vices while in the midst of them with that oh-so-cooler-than-thou-attitude of superiority?

Or do we examine the role of memoir as it is used here to hopefully enable this woman to see her demons out in the open and perhaps start dealing with them before it is too late?

Personal writing can be used to help people in the midst of traumatic experiences process the experience and see it for what it is. Thomas’ simple act of reflecting on her experience, which she admits is stereotypical in most people’s eyes, will hopefully allow her to understand herself better and deeper. 

Stripping Down: A Memoir - Free for Kindle!

Pink Fish Press is doing a special holiday giveaway of all their titles. 

If you don't have my memoir, Stripping Down, here's your chance to get it for free for Kindle! 

Here's a look at all the other great titles from Pink Fish Press!

Just head over to Amazon and they all can be yours for free!

TAKING FLIGHT

      by Adrian R. Magnuson  

Jeremy Walsh's parents assume he's been abducted by the elderly man he met on a cross-country flight, but it's the other way around.   

Share in the journey of two unlikely companions who meet in midair: 13-year-old Jeremy, sent against his will by his career-absorbed father to spend the summer with his bipolar mother in New York, and Harry Herndon, elderly, one-legged and afflicted with mid-stage Alzheimer's, who escapes the confinement of home for what may be his last adventure. Outcasts of sorts, they begin their cross-country getaway, trailed by Harry's wife and Jeremy's parents, each of whom threaten to cut their journey short. The story that follows is a race against time and circumstance as the two quickly bond over their mutual love of birding while experiencing the joys and growing pains of Taking Flight in their own, very different, ways.

STRIPPING DOWN

      by Sheila Hageman

"I feel the weight of the hammer from the dusty workbench in my sweaty palm and hit the padlock. My heart thumps in my bony chest. I listen for the humming sound of my mother's car backing into the driveway. I hit again. I listen. The lock pops open."  

At twelve years old, everything changed for Sheila with the discovery of her estranged father's porn collection. Found locked away in a corner of the basement, the glossy images ignite in her an unrelenting desire for attention and adoration. Now, reflections on her past as a stripper permeate her thoughts as she takes on the new roles of mother, caregiver and wife. While helping her baby daughter take her first steps, she nurses her mother through the final stages of breast cancer. This powerful and beautiful story is a moving meditation on a woman's life through her body, motherhood and loss.  

Spiraling through memories and torn between the woman she is becoming and the woman she has been, Sheila Hageman is continually Stripping Down.

THESE THINGS I KNOW

      by Jessica Karbowiak

Jessica Karbowiak's beautiful short stories and essays chronicle the narrator's growth from a space of victimization, to observer and ultimately redemption. Its theme of learning how to live in the world covers the author's own personal tragedies, historical accounts, surreal short stories on acceptance and self-worth and finally becoming whole—even as a damaged creature.  

The collection is gorgeous, challenging, peculiar and experimental. As much about the writing as the narrative, the author bends perception by lyrically manipulating her words and their meanings into a unique reading experience. These Things I Know is equal parts art piece, narrative and memoir, and will fill readers with a sense of wonder and hope as they turn each page.

NO ONE EVER ASKED ME THAT: Conversations on the Afterlife

      by Catherine Levison

What are the purposes of imagination? Catherine Levison was intrigued by topics like this from an early age. Seeking more meaningful conversations, she developed a series of questions to bypass small talk and enable others to speak comfortably on deep issues. Not only did her approach generate unforgettable conversations, it had a profound effect on those she spoke with. This book compiles interviews, held over the course of more than a decade with a diverse group of people, from monks, to teachers, to dish washers. The results are thought-provoking, often surprising and you will find yourself wondering why no one ever asked you that.

GUIDEBOOK FOR WORKING WITH SMALL INDEPENDENT PUBLISHERS

      By Terry Persun

There are only a handful of corporate publishers and literally thousands of independent presses. For authors looking to publish, the choices can be daunting. This guidebook explains the pros and cons of making the choice to work with small publishers, explains the independent press process, and offers a valuable sample marketing plan. With years of publishing experience, author Terry Persun helps navigate the world of small, independent publishers in this concise and illuminating guidebook.

Exposing Family Secrets

Here's a link to my appearance on CBS 2's NY News the other night: Can Exposing Family Secrets Help The Healing Process?.

Arne Duncan Strips Down to Save Our Kids' Education!

It has come to this, World: Secretary Of Education Forced To Take Up Stripping To Put Nation Through School.

Even the Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, is Stripping Down now, but it’s in the name of paying for kids’ education, y’all!

Saying it was his only real option to earn much-needed cash, U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan told reporters Tuesday he had been forced to start working as an erotic dancer at the local strip club Peaches in order to put the nation’s students through school.

Ok, yes…this article appears in The Onion. But they really got the stripper dialogue down!

“Taking off your clothes in front of strangers isn’t for everyone, but I’m confident in my body, and regardless, I need to get the money somehow,” said Duncan, who performs under the stage name Velvet. “I’m not planning on doing this forever, just until all 49.8 million kids in our public elementary and secondary schools can graduate. Then I can go back to my regular job.”

There really are strippers out there in the clubs saying this very thing with just a few slight differences.

As a former stripper I can sit here and say that yes, a lot of us strippers can justify our jobs even when we don’t especially like what we are doing. Hey! We’ve got to support the kids, right?

Of course, I would think that goes for most people who don’t like or don’t feel 100% great about their work.

This brings up a real issue when it comes to strippers and a great place for the rest of us to practice compassion—if we were to imagine strippers (or insert a person/worker who you think is doing something immoral) as moms trying to put their kids through school, feed the family and support the household, could we have more compassion and understanding for them?

Perhaps we all “Strip Down” in some way in our lives when we need to—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Ban on Public Nudity Needed?

As a woman who has posed nude in public places and gone close to nude on public beaches, I understand people’s desire to be free of clothing. And I also understand the whole freedom of expression angle.

CNN reports on San Francisco’s ban on public nudity: San Francisco approves public nudity ban; protesters strip down.

“Supervisor Scott Wiener, who introduced the ordinance, disputed claims that the measure violates freedom of expression.

 "We're a city that believes in freedom, and we've always believed in freedom and free expression," Wiener told CNN affilite KGO. "But taking your pants off at Castro and Market and displaying your genitals to everyone, that's not free expression."

 But some nudists have filed a lawsuit claiming the ban violates their First Amendment rights.”

I can understand why public nudity could be a problem when there are kids around or when people are abusing the right, but overall I don’t have a problem with it.

If a person really just feels more comfortable nude and they’re not out there swinging things around or anything, what’s the big deal? Nude is our natural state after all.

I don’t think there are too many people who really want to go around naked in public anyway.

Do you think there needs to be a ban on public nudity?

Dressing Up is the New Stripping Down

There’s so much to love about this article on NBC News: From farmer to supermodel: China's latest fashion sensation is 72-year-old granddad.

It seems Liu Qianping, a retired farmer, was having fun trying on some of his granddaughter’s clothes for her shop when she decided to take some photos. What got passed around in fun turned into a viral sensation.

Now Grandpa is the model for his granddaughter’s online store.

“Most special is that I could do something for my little granddaughter. I feel fulfilled," Qianping said.

I love seeing people having fun with life and trying new things and not caring what others think. And when those people end up being celebrated and “seen,” it just makes me light up.

Stripping Down for the Camera

Cameron Diaz from STV

 According to STV, Cameron Diaz enjoys stripping down and posing for the camera.

She told The Sunday Times newspaper: ''It's empowering. I'm not some young girl with the photographer going, 'Will you take your clothes off?' I'm like [mimes stripping], 'How does this look?'

That is an interesting difference to point out. As a former model, I do know that I felt more comfortable posing in the nude for some photographers than I did fully dressed for others. The sense of empowerment comes from doing what I felt comfortable with and what I felt empowered to do.

Do most women think it’s okay for other women or themselves to pose nude or in a provocative way as long as the woman feels empowered by it?

Diaz went on to explain ''I think every woman does want to be objectified. There's a little part of you at all times that hopes to be somewhat objectified, and I think it’s healthy.''

What do you think about what Diaz says? I’m not sure that I would agree that “every woman” wants to be objectified. I think I understand what she is trying to say though—that many women want to be seen as beautiful, which might be different than wanting to be objectified.

Is there a way for women to have it all when it comes to feeling beautiful for themselves and being objectified by men?

Can these two desires actually work together? Or are those two different ends that cannot meet?

A Girl's Need to Feel: Purposeful, Accomplished and Special

I was a huge fan of Little House on the Prairie when I was a girl; I read all the books by Laura Ingalls Wilder and then watched and rewatched the television series.

Another one of the series’ star came out with a memoir, MSNBC reports: Former child star reveals mom’s cruelty in memoir: "Little House on the Prairie" actress’ success fueled by pride, pressure from hermother.

Melissa Francis played Cassandra Cooper Ingalls on the hit television series. In an excerpt from her book, Diary of a Stage Mother's Daughter: A Memoir, she talks about her childhood and her relationship with her mother.

“The day I won that part may have been the highlight of Mom’s life. Our two years on Little House on the Prairie were without question her happiest. There was no reason for me to talk back, or for her to take a scissor to my favorite shirt in front of me in response. I cried on cue, the adoration on the set enveloped me. Rebukes from Mom were short-lived, lest I show up for work uncooperative. But in truth, we were both so happy there was nothing to struggle over. She woke me at 5 am to make an early call and we worked well into the evening, but I loved the sense of purpose an acting job gave me, as well as the sense of accomplishment, and, of course, feeling so very special.”

What strikes me is how much what she says in the final line resonates with what I have written about and how I have described my experience in my teens: but I loved the sense of purpose an acting job gave me, as well as the sense of accomplishment, and, of course, feeling so very special.

Reading this in someone else’s words just makes me realize how important those needs are for some girls. And I’m wondering what we can learn from this description of young womanhood.

How do we give our girls ways to meet those needs, but in healthy ways?

How can we help our daughters to feel purposeful, accomplished and special through age-appropriate and beneficial rituals or activities?

I am not knocking acting for young girls; I think there are many good aspects of it. But I want to find ways for my daughter to feel all these empowering feelings without having to “perform.”

Baring All For Our Children

Please visit Alicia Kamm's new website, Born Ready Baby. She interviewed me for a piece, Mom Bares All: Now & Then.

Baring all, stripping down, seems like such an important task for women today. Especially as mothers. I want my daughter to not enter the world without knowledge or to be stunned when she loses her innocence.

It's a wobbly line I walk as I figure out how and when to talk to my daughter about my past. But I know it's so important to be honest and to present her with a good role model.

Celebrity Baby Scoop reports on actress Melissa McCarthy about how she deals with talking to her own young daughters about her issues in Melissa McCarthy: I Don’t Want To Pass On Negative Body Image To Daughters.

Mom-of-two Melissa McCarthy opens up about her weight in the latest issue of Good Housekeeping. ”Sometimes I wish I were just magically a size six and I never had to give [my weight] a single thought,” the Bridesmaids star admits. 

“But I am weirdly healthy, so I don’t beat myself up about it – it wouldn’t help, and I don’t want to pass that on to my girls,” she adds.

As moms we are so hyper-vigilant about not passing on our issues to our daughters, which I think is good.

If we're aware enough to understand what will probably affect our children, hopefully we're conscious enough to also be working on our issues for ourselves, too.

Are there any issues or bad habits that you worry about passing on to your children?

Proud to Be Wearing Clean Underwear

When it comes to positive body image advice, it sometimes seems like there's nothing new under the sun to add.

While that may be true, you never know when someone will spark a new can-do attitude in someone who's never come across that idea before. Or sometimes, just the way someone else presents a time-tested tip can be just what you need to hear.

Here's a  list of helpful hints from Yahoo Shine: 15 Ways to Get a Killer Body Image.

I like number 1:

1. Before you leave your apartment in the morning, take a moment to strike a ridiculous (-ly attractive) pose in the mirror. It's silly, but it's good to take a moment and remember how hot you are when you're just out of the shower and freshly primped for the day. 

Except I don't know if I always feel that attractive in the morning. Especially not when I'm just throwing on clothes to get out of the house on time with three kids.

And today I have a cold, feel depressed and achy. Let's see if I can somehow make myself feel beautiful even when I feel like crap and my primping consisted of putting on clean underpants and brushing my teeth.

What can we learn from the above photo of me as compared to the model in the pretty blue sweater at the start of this blog?

Well, first of all, I really need to wipe off the kids' fingerprint smudges from my bedroom mirror. And secondly, I may not look so "hot" in this photo. But seeing as I managed to clothe myself, deliver my kids to school, and come home to a heated house, I guess I'm feeling pretty good about myself today.

Sometimes body image takes a backseat to being proud of ourselves for just getting up and out there even when we're not feeling so "hot."

Yoga Girl

I stumbled on this video Yoga Girl, which brightened up my day when I was feeling stressed.

I've just been trying to figure out where yoga fits in with my life in the world today and how to modernize it and make it more applicable to my own life and myself as a woman.

This is a pretty funny take on a lot of the issues I have about yoga and women.

 

Dj Dave and Barney Kook bust an R and B inspired ballad dedicated to Yoga Girls all over the world.

Model Poses in Sandy's Destruction

Do people have no shame anymore when it comes to publicity?

Wait...this doesn't surprise me at all.

Publicity is all about doing something that gets attention. Model Nana Gouvêa got attention. Posing amid Sandy's destruction.

I like the Internet Memes that have sprung up showing Gouvêa inserted into different tragedies.

Alas, that just gives her more free publicity, which is probably what this was all about.

If this had been done in the name of Art (with a capital"A"), would it have made a difference?

Perhaps if there was a vision or a message being sent, I would think, yes.

What do you think? Can and should Art be made from devastation?

Lap Dancing is Not an Art Says New York Court

The AP reports that the courts have decided and the verdict is...lap dancing is not an art!

I had a feeling that his might be the finding, but what surprises me is how close the vote was; the vote was split 4 to 3.

It looks like Nite Moves strip club is going to have to cough up the back taxes they owe or get to choreographing those lap dances better. Maybe throw a few tutus on the dancers. You know, high-brow it up a bit.

What do you think? Should stripping or lap dancing be considered an art?

The Sun's Page 3 Topless Women Issue

Can you imagine the outrage if an American daily newspaper decided to start publishing photos of topless women inside their pages?

The UK's Sun has something called Page 3 Women, which is just that. Every day. Every page 3. A topless woman.

It seems like such a sad representation of our society that in this day and age topless women would adorn a news daily.

And I'm not a man-hater or anti-topless women. I think the nude body is a beautiful thing.

But I think there's a place for everything. And a daily newspaper that little girls might pick up and glance at is not the place for representing women as simply objects.

Check out my blog for the UK's Huffington Post on this issue: Former Topless Model Advocates Highlighting Women's Talents and Abilities in the Sun.

Living with Depression

Image of Sheila Hageman

Depression can be a very serious illness, which affects so many people in different ways.

I'm so relieved when I see depression being spoken about more openly in the news. The more we learn about depression and open the conversation to everyone, the more research and help will become available.

Here is my ireport for CNN on depression and how to live with depression we need to stop fighting it...

Read the story here...

Sexual Contracts Open Up the Conversation

My segment from Huff Post Live on sexual contracts ended up on the homepage of AOL.

Check out my interview: Has She Found the 'Key to Better Sex’?: Sheila Hageman claims a small relationship technique will lead to life-changing improvements -- and it can work for anyone. Method supposedly reinvigorates marriages

Stripping as Art? Life as Art!

I had a fun interview with Thom Hartmann on The Big Picture about whether stripping is an art.

I absolutely think that stripping can be an art, I really do.

There were times when I would really get into character and feel incredibly sexy and beautiful and put on an amazing performance.

But there were other days, other stages, where I felt belittled and demeaned where I could barely move my body.

I do think stripping can be done as an art, just as anything can be actually.

Unfortunately, we're all so busy just trying to earn our salary and make a living that we often lose touch with approaching living itself as an art.

Life can be done as an art. That is what I strive for.

When and Where is Breastfeeding OK in the Public's Opinion?

I wrote about Professor Adrienne Pine's breastfeeding in class for the Huffington Post: Breastfeeding Professor's Non-Incident Makes Headlines: When Will Moms Be Allowed to do it all in Order to Have it All?

Yahoo's headline made me think this professor was using the classroom as political statement: "Feminist Anthropology Professor Blasted for Breastfeeding During Class," but nothing could be farther from the truth.

Professor Adrienne Pine had a dilemma on the first day of her Sex, Gender and Culture class at American University in Washington, D.C when her baby had a fever and couldn't go to daycare. She didn't want her students to miss the introductory class, so she brought along her child to it. Her child did fine for awhile, but when she got cranky, she breastfed for a few minutes until the baby fell asleep.

Professor Pine never meant to make a statement. She was just trying to teach her class. Unfortunately, some students went to the college's newspaper, where they were all too eager to make it a story. Despite Pine's attempts to explain the situation and show what a non-issue this was, it has turned into headline news...

Read the rest at The Huffington Post...

Can Anything Be Art?

Painting by Richard Phillips from The Huffington Post

There's a Zen saying that goes something like this: How you do anything is how you do everything.

If that is true, is it not possible for just about anything to be done as "Art"?

After my latest Huffington Post blog The Art of the Lap Dance: As Told by a Former Strip Tease Artist, I’ve been thinking about this whole idea of art.

I mean, really—who gets to decide what art is or not?

Then I ran into this piece today: Lindsay Lohan, Adriana Lima Paintings By Richard Phillips: Are They Really Art?

The writer Michael Hogan asks some great questions about how we determine what is art or not in relation to Richard Phillips’ huge painting of celebrity women:

“You can call it a sad commentary on the way we live now, but is that on him or on us? If Phillips is holding up a mirror to our environment and all we want to do is smash it, whose fault, really, is that?”

Do you think it’s possible for anyone to do anything and have a grand “arty” explanation for it and that makes it art?

Or do you think Art (notice the capital “A”) must meet certain other standards?

Stripping Down #1 on Amazon for Free Kindle ebooks in Memoir

Image of Stripping Down Cover

Stripping Down is currently #21 in all free Kindle ebooks and #1 in memoir!

Thanks for your support everyone!

You can still download a free copy until Midnight!

Please download and let your friends know!