#AndIAmBeautiful

#bellybuttonchallenge 

#loveyourbody 

#bellybutton

#fuckit


#sexytummy 

#whocares 

#challenge 

#daily 

#fuckbellybuttonchallenge 

#bellychallenge

This is just a small sampling of the hashtags that go along with social media beauty challenges and the challenges meant to disrupt their hold on our attention.

Daily Mail reports on the latest phenomenon in Eggs-tremely skillful: Quirky social media crazes have become secrets to winning in Chinese beauty pageant.

The egg collarbone challenge

Social media beauty challenges have proliferated recently. From thigh gaps to coin or egg balancing in one’s collarbones to The Belly Button Challenge, which involves touching one’s belly button by reaching around one’s waist, these challenges are meant to highlight how thin someone is.

These challenges are everywhere, from Chinese beauty pageants to Instagram—the latest being “A new Instagramchallenge has thousands of teens posting dramatic videos of themselves 'lookingugly'.”

The latest social media challenge has teens smearing their faces with makeup in the name of body-positivity — but the videos are actually just insulting…The hashtag #DontJudgeChallenge was trending on Instagram earlier Monday where there are over 85,000 thousand posts using the hashtag.

Of course, just as we have all these negative social media body challenges, we also have lots of people challenging the challenges with some challenges actually worth doing.

Daily Mail reports in 'I have acne and braces but I'm beautiful': Teens hit back against make-up shaming challenge on social media by exposing their flaws in stunning bare-faced selfies.

Teens are actually showing their flaws and tagging them #BeautyInAllChallenge. They’re saying, this is me, pimples and all. And I am beautiful.

Today I’m starting a hashtag to encourage everyone to my #AndIAmBeautiful social media challenge:

Take a photo or video of yourself with one hand over your heart to represent the message coming from your heart and give a reason that has nothing to do with physical appearance about why you are beautiful, and label it #AndIAmBeautiful.

#AndIAmBeautiful because I care deeply about people...

Sexy is Funny

Female strippers are thought of usually as either hot, sexy, gorgeous women or skanky, slutty whores. 

Male strippers are thought of as what by the general public? Are there the same polar opposite opinions?

What about funny?

Channing Tatum’s co-star in Magic Mike XXL, Joe Manganiello said:

Male stripping is funny, it just is. You would have to work so hard to work around the comedy, the innate comedy of male stripping…

 It says a lot that we see men stripping as funnier much easier than we do women stripping.

I think that the humor for audiences comes from the awkwardness we may experience at seeing men do something that is seen as “womanly.” Being sexy has always been a female’s territory.

I think there is something inherently funny about public nakedness in general.

If I tried now to do what I did back then, I would not be able to keep a straight face. Trying to “be sexy” is quite funny.

One photo shoot I did for a foot fetish magazine was actually hysterical. The shoot took place in a real studio with photographers, lighting, and sets. I worked with two other models. We started dressed, eating grapes on a velvet couch. We ended nude, legs entwined, displaying our toes to the camera. My improvisation of feeding grapes to the others from my clenched toes was a hit. It was outrageously funny to me, but the other models really seemed into it. The blonde sucked on my toes and moaned. I did my fake head-back orgasm, but I think hers was real.

In some ways, it’s so simple as a stripper or model to put on that fake sexy face and pretend to be so hot and bothered. It was easy to make men think the look was real.

Perhaps that is also where part of the “funny” came from for me. What kept me going when the men were jerks was knowing that they were giving me money for pretending to feel and be something I wasn’t really experiencing or being.

We would laugh backstage at how easy it was to make men believe we were real.

Looking back now, I see I really was an actress playing a part most of the time.

It makes sense that I would be confused about who I really was after leaving my other life.

What was real and what was fake got all mixed up.

Team USA wins Women’s World Cup, but Loses in their Paychecks

Interesting factoid floating around on the Internet today is how much less female soccer players earn than their male counterparts.

In “Winning Women's Soccer Team Paid 40 Times Less Than Men Who Lose,” Jezebel reports:

…the National Women’s Soccer League salaries range from $6,000 to $30,000 and teams often have a salary cap of $200,000. The Men’s League Soccer league salary cap clocked in at $3.1 million last year, and the total payout for the women’s World Cup will be just $15 million compared to the men’s $576 million sum. 

The knowledge of gender pay inequality is obviously nothing new in any field, but with the victory of the women’s soccer team in the Women’s World Cup, it’s brought to the forefront again.

How is this wage gap allowed to still exist?

It seems fitting that the only area women consistently earn more money than men is in the modeling business.

One commenter on the Daily Mail was happy enough to explain the difference:

Easy...demand. That is the same reason WNBA players make a fraction of what NBA players do. I'd rather look at women in skimpy outfits and watch men play basketball instead of the other way around.

I guess that explains it.

Magic Mike XXL Male Strippers Celebrated

Magic Mike XXL hit theaters and now there’s a plethora of male stripper parodies and remakes hitting the Internet.

  

One Chicago talk show, You &Me This Morning, had their male co-hosts trained by a male stripper and they put together a remake of the Magic Mike XXL trailer.

Conan crashed a Ladies’ Night Out viewing of Magic Mike XXL and hilarity ensued.

What I find most interesting is how lightly a movie about male strippers is received. Men with “dad bodies” are quick to make parodies and everyone is able to laugh about it.

Imagine if there was a stripper movie along the lines of Magic Mike that was all about female strippers.

Would we be seeing parodies made by “average” women? Would we all be able to laugh about it?

Would we see large groups of men renting limos to go hang out together at the theatre?

The two just don’t really compare.

There is no equivalent to male stripper shows in the female stripper world. Yes, there is burlesque, but even that is treated differently.

Is it all about the power mechanics at work?

Male strippers are more often celebrated and applauded. We are not seeing a lot of talk about how male strippers are whores or anything of the kind.

It is more just about a choice they make and they are seen as powerful.

Unless a female stripper is doing burlesque or just playing the role of “stripper” in a movie, she is often looked down upon. She is seen as used and most likely a prostitute.

When and how will this ever change?

Eat Right and Exercise for a Bounce Back Body--Or Maybe Not

The uptick in celebrities sharing after-birth photos of their bodies looks like it’s here to stay.

At first, we were mostly treated to photos of the women who snapped back into shape in what seemed like overnight.

People magazine had a photo segment called Body After Baby: Star Moms Who Bounced Right Back. The piece is introduced like this:

Check out Blake Lively, Zoë Saldana, Mila Kunis and more stars flaunting their post-pregnancy figures. There's even one famous mama who hit a red carpet 11 (!) days after giving birth.

 

Credit: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP; Stephen Lovekin/Getty

I felt buoyed up by Hilaria Baldwin’s after photo, which shows what many mothers probably recognize—the after-baby-but-still-there-bump.

@HilariaBaldwin/Instagram

Revolutionary! Show your still-there-bump loud and proud!

Yes, there are some women who definitely do return right back to their original figure, but a larger percentage of women never look the same after birth.

After three children, my body has definitely changed.

I photographed my belly after my last birth; I knew it would get better eventually and I’d be able to look back and say, thank goodness.

Hmm, why would I want to save photos of my poor, wrinkly flesh after having been stretched to the limit for nine months and then suddenly deflated? Perhaps as evidence of the  sacrifice I made for my children.

Then today I saw a quote from Baldwin, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

The yoga teacher told the DailyMail: “Giving birth to Carmen made me realize the body does go back to what it was before…If you eat healthy and treat your body well, it will go back to its original state.”

Sorry to burst any bubbles, but—Yes, your body may go back to its original state, but…it probably won’t.

Eating healthy and exercising will obviously give you the best shot at having your body look the way it did before baby, but trust me when I say, that is not necessarily true.

I have still not come to terms with how my belly looks.

I have tried to love it and celebrate it and be proud of it.

I could lie and say I love my belly wrinkles, but I do not.

I don’t know whether to hide it so as to not scare small children or display it as a feminist badge.

All I do know is that I want to love my body just as it is. And I am trying my hardest to get there.

Claim Your Super Power

This morning in the minivan, my four-year-old said, “Do you know who my favorite super hero is?”

“No. Who?”

“Hulk Smash!”

“Why? Because he's so big or because he’s so strong?”

“Strong!”

“Do you want to be strong someday?”

A pause from him. I catch my mistake in the silence. Why am I delaying his being strong to the future as opposed to right now?

“I mean, are you so strong?”

“Yes!” He shouts back without delay. “I am so strong!”

Why can't I be as confident as he can in being what I want to be? He tries on abilities with no problem, claiming them for himself as desired. I know deep down he is aware that he isn’t literally as strong as Hulk, but that does not stop him from embodying it for himself.

When does our ability to declare positive attributes for ourselves grind to a stop? When do we begin to focus more on our weaknesses, on what we are not, on what we cannot do or be?

Is there any way to recapture that brilliant childlike belief that we can all be superheroes?

We are superheroes. With super powers.

We just need to claim it for ourselves.

Who do you want to be today?

What super power do you create for yourself today?

WARNING: For this to work, you are actually going to have to live into the strength you choose. You are going to have to “act as if” you already have the power, which you do, you just might not realize it.

You will need to be brave and feel your power and live it.

Women’s Stories Matter

How quick we are to judge other women and their stories.

An essay by Sarah Scott on Elle Décor, "I Made a Huge Sacrifice to Buy My Dream Home," has caused a stir with many commentators tearing apart the writer for what they see as her selfishness and privilege.

Scott’s personal essay details how she and her husband are able to afford their dream home by sacrificing having a third child. The writer concludes that the sacrifice of not having the third child hurts, but that it is a decision she and her husband made consciously.

With that said, the sacrifice has been made. Because we live in this dream home, we can only afford to have two children. It's our quiet sacrifice but it's also our beautiful life, well-earned and fully-lived.

The comments overall take issue with what is described as her self-pitying tone and her “poor little me” story.

“Not sure there is a point, it's a 'poor little me' story that smacks of utter selfishness. Spare a thought for the women who can't have children instead of bleating on about your uterus aching for a third child. Difficult choice huh....your dream house versus a third child. Unbelievable!!!”

It is understandable that when we see someone complaining about something that we don’t have the luxury to even consider, that we will feel upset. When I see photos from some of those “Rich Kids of Instagram” photos I admit I get riled up by the utter obliviousness and decadence, but these photos seem to be all about rubbing in what the photographers have on purpose.

Cat taking a pic of all the people that can’t sit with us #Balmainarmy @catmcneil @Iblamejordan @harry_brant by petermbrant

  

Scott’s essay though seems to be a genuine story that she is sharing about her life and her choices. It does not feel like she is looking for pity, but rather that she is explaining her experience of what is sacrifice for her and what that looks like in her life.

There will always be someone who has more than us, but when we try to rip down a woman for expressing her experience, we are really only displaying our own jealousies, pent-up anger and our own self-pitying ways.

Shouldn’t every voice be heard? Shouldn’t every woman’s story matter and be respected?

I’m a Stripper, Not a Pole Fitness Instructor

OK, all you pole fitness instructors out there, we get it. You’re not strippers.

“Not that I have anything against exotic dancers, but what they do is completely different to pole fitness and what the sport has developed into,” says Eleanor Mills in I'm a pole fitness instructor, not a stripper.

I suppose the media may be partially to blame, they see a way to tie Strippers to an article and they think it’ll get more views.

Why else do all the articles about pole dancing studios have titles like: ‘I’m not a stripper’: Maine pole dancing class aimed at fitness.

And you have to have your “I’m not a stripper” quote nestled in there.

“The energy here, the vibe, is integrity, art, dance, fitness passion — there’s no type of stripper vibe,” said 207 Pole Fitness student Buffie McLaskey. “As you can see, I’m not a stripper. I’m just a regular person.”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I feel like I’m stuck inside the Seinfeld episode “The Outing” every time I read an article about pole fitness.

Of course, in the episode, the saying, "… not that there's anything wrong with that,” was referring to homosexuality, not strippers.

Throughout the episode, Jerry and George, and most of the other characters, fear being seen as homosexual, yet also feel guilty and afraid they will be perceived as homophobic…Seinfeld has stated that he is particularly proud of the episode, saying that it simultaneously satirizes both homophobia and excessive political correctness.

Listen, if what you’re saying in real life needs to be followed up quickly by “…not that there’s anything wrong with that,” then obviously, you think there is something wrong with it, or you wouldn’t mind having that “that” associated with you.

So, I’m asking all the pole fitness dancers out there to just get off their high horses and admit that, yes, they don’t like being associated with strippers for a reason—because being a stripper is looked down upon. Because being a stripper is seen as trashy and disgusting.

But, twirling around on a pole in skimpy clothes with your pelvis the center of attraction is high and mighty. And athletic. And strong. And feminist.

But strippers? That’s completely different.

And you want the world to know that there’s a difference between you and them.

But, you want to be politically correct, too.

You want to be friends with everybody. I get it.

It’s a lot like the way when I say I was a stripper, I expect the next words out of the listener’s mouth to be, “Oh, you were a prostitute, huh?”

“What? No! I was an exotic dancer! There’s a big difference between what I did and what a hooker does,” I would often say. “But, I mean, not that I don’t think prostituting should be legal, I do. But it’s different. That’s not what I did.”

So perhaps it’s all a natural reaction for us to elevate ourselves above the “negatives” associated with our professions.

And perhaps it’s not all about political correctness, but really about honoring the choices that other women make, even if we would not ourselves make those same decisions.

Equal Rights For All: Standing Up For What You Believe In

Tyra Banks was in the news yesterday for an Instagram Post she shared about the modeling industry. She offers support to the models of today who have such high and sometimes impossible standards they are required to meet.

@Ken Towner/ANL/REX Shutterstock via Daily Mail

Models have so much pressure today…They have to be slimmer than slim. Skinnier than skinny…And they have to do selfies that make them look relatable, but not TOO relatable, because then people may comment that they don't understand, "Why the heck is THAT girl a friggin' model??!!!!" 

When I was a young model, yeah, we had to think about our weight, but not like today. I think I was size 6, not a size 0…I'm sending love and hugs to all working, aspiring and super models worldwide. You all have lots to live up to. And I'm here cheering for you every single day. Stay strong girls.

Her post and the reactions to it got me thinking about how I look at the Stripping world and the strippers of today and how I write about my feelings toward the adult industry.

Some critics were quick to point out that if Tyra feels so strongly about the state of the modeling industry, why is she still a part of it? Why does she participate in judging young models on reality shows like America’s Next Top Model?

I was just talking to my husband the other day about how I tend to write about stripping and nude modeling from a very middle-of-the-road attitude. I don’t express anger about the industry. I tend to focus on the fact that every woman should have the choice of what she does with her body and that there isn’t anything inherently wrong with stripping or any other adult entertainment activities.

But when I talk to him about these things is when he notices the anger. That got me thinking: Do I express myself differently on the same topic whether I am writing about it or talking about it? And if so, why?

Perhaps I am more guarded and careful about my words when I am writing, but when I speak, I may get caught up in the emotions and really just let out my truest feelings.

Like Tyra, I need to give myself permission to “be a part” of an industry in certain ways, but also advocate for better conditions or point out the problems and flaws within that world.

I also need to allow myself for my opinions to shift and not be afraid of being branded a hypocrite because there will always be someone not happy with what I have to say or who I am.

While writing this, I just heard the amazing news: the Supreme Court ruled that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage.

Wow—this is all thanks to those who have fought for equality for decades. This is all because of people willing to declare what they felt, even when it was a very unpopular belief to hold.

I hope this will serve as inspiration for me and everyone to always fight for what we know is right and what we believe in.

Stripping Down the Video Blog

A former stripper, now a writer, teacher and mom of three, I've decided to create a Vlog to go along with my Blog, Stripping Down.

I want to really strip down and have fun in life and pursue all my dreams, even though I suffer from depression and sometimes have a hard time working. My Vlog is going to be about my attempt to live the life I dream of and to help other people live their lives to the fullest, too.

After struggling with depression my whole life, I realize I need something else to sustain me. I need meaning. I need to push myself into joy every day. I am willing and committed to trying anything once, which might help me live my life more fully and more authentically.

Please follow my journey here and please subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Blaze Starr Had No Apologies

The New York Times reports Blaze Starr, a Burlesque Queen Who Was Linked to a Governor, Dies at 83.

She was best known for the 1989 movie Blaze about her affair with Gov. Earl K. Long of Louisiana.

Via Nytimes.com: Blaze Starr in 1950. CreditApic/Getty Images

I love this quote from her:

“Society thought that to be a stripper was to be a prostitute,” Ms. Starr told The New York Times in 1989, at the time of the movie’s release. “But I always felt that I was an artist, entertaining. I was at ease being a stripper. I kept my head held high, and if there is such a thing as getting nude with class, then I did it.”

She managed to stay in the business quite a long time—30 years. Starr left when the industry was becoming too “raunchy.”

I was just lucky enough to stumble into the “career” right at the time of the raunch.

Bravo to Blaze Starr for having no apologies. This seems like an incredible feat to achieve. May she rest in peace.

Top 3 Reasons I Love Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair Cover and All It Represents (Plus my 1 reservation)

Photo via Vanity Fair

1.         No matter celebrity status, success, money or privilege, coming out to the world as a women took more courage than most people display in their entire lives.

As accepting as many liberal Americans are today, I sometimes forget (or maybe just want to) that not everybody is not as accepting and freethinking as my friends and I are. Heck, just saying that, I realize some of my friends may be thinking—I’m not that free thinking, Sheila!

2.         Caitlyn Jenner’s very public transition from a celebrated male athlete to a confident woman will help so many confused young people.

For any young people confused my their gender identification, having a world-famous role model to use as proof that there is nothing wrong with what they feel in their heart, can hopefully be transformational and a source of support.

3.         It is never too late to make major changes in one’s life and self.

Jenner is setting an example that no matter how one has portrayed oneself to the world, no matter for how long, it is still possible at any point in one’s life to say, this is the real me. Jenner shows that regardless of what some will say, one can come into one’s true self at any age.

Photo of Caitlyn Jenner from Vanity Fair

 My one reservation

How wonderful that Jenner has the wealth, the status and the privilege to make her transition in such a well-supported way.

Her status as a respected athlete and her fame from reality television has given her the opportunity to transition with the best team of specialists available.

Money was no object at any point of this change.

Her ability to be photographed by the world-famous Annie Leibovitz and to be styled by the top makeup and hair professionals available, and to be dressed in the finest of couture, and to be lighted and primped and polished and photoshopped to perfection, does not represent the reality of most people transitioning.

We are again presented with an idealized female representation of beauty that most of us can never achieve.

Of course, that is not to say that this cover is not beautiful. It is.

I imagine most of us, were we to be given the opportunity to be on the cover of Vanity Fair, would not say no to being beautified by the experts…

A Quick and Easy Yoga Energy Boost

No matter how you’re feeling, five minutes of yoga can only improve that feeling.

As hard as it can be to get moving when you are feeling depressed, it is exactly what you need.

I will admit I don’t always take my own advice, but when I do, I am always grateful.

So, what are you waiting for? Take a quick five-minute yoga break. It doesn’t have to look any certain way or even be any “real” yoga poses—just move your body and feel the energy boost!

The Peace of the Theatre: Reentering the World, But Leaving the Drama Behind

They say that it’s not safe for a recovering alcoholic to return to the same friends and hangouts they used to have.

I took that message to heart when I found myself overwhelmed by bad habits, an unhealthy body image and addictions when I quit stripping almost two decades ago.

It wasn’t alcohol or drugs that ruled my world, rather sexual addictions and a need for drama.

I hung up my stilettos and unfortunately, my acting shoes, too, because I could not really separate one stage from another. I left behind my greatest dreams to find a peace of mind I yearned for more than a successful acting career.

There was plenty to fill the gap: I returned to school and shifted my focus from my external self to everything I could accomplish solely with the powers of my mind.

I found new happiness and success: valedictorian of my college, an MFA in Creative Writing, a yoga teacher certification (although, granted, this involved my body, too), a published book, a college teaching career, a husband, a family.

And, finally: Peace.

Sure, the acting bug would pop its shiny head up every now and then and the question would rise: What if?

It wasn’t until my work friend mentioned auditions at a theatre she was involved in that I actually paused and thought: Maybe I should; Maybe I will…

I did. I auditioned. For the first time in fifteen years, and it felt good.

Picture of Sheila Hageman as Gwen Landis

I felt like I was back in my element. Back amongst people who understood my love to make believe and my search for understanding.

Playing Gwen Landis in Lanford Wilson’s “Fifth of July” at the Town Players of Newtown has brought back the joy, the commitment, and interestingly—the peace without the drama of my younger self.

The peace that I find onstage when I release myself to my character and let the rest of the world stop.

This is why I acted. I had forgotten the transportation of self I experience—that same expression of a deeper self I experience when I write, when I teach, when I practice yoga, when I love my family.

I see the cross-connection—the exuberance of experience, of entering a deeply felt sense of life and awe of being.

I open myself to this and allow myself to be attentive to my next steps upon this journey.

Positive Body Image Means We Can Love Our Bodies Just as They Are But Still Want to Create Change

Positive body image means loving ourselves as we are now, even if we also wish to make changes to our outer appearance.

Brooklyn resident Matt Diaz embodies this positive body image message.

Daily News reports Brooklyn man who dropped 270 lbs. posts emotional plea to fund excess skin surgery - and strangers respond with $33K.

After losing half his body weight, Diaz had an excess amount of skin. Always a promoter of healthy body image, he felt to be truly honest with the world that he needed to show what lay beneath his incredible transformation.

Diaz posted video of what he looks like now and requested people donate to a fund to help him afford the excess skin removal surgery. He will now be able to afford the surgery thanks to the positive turnout from strangers ready to support him.

He explains that although he does want surgery to fix the skin issue, it is not that he does not love himself just the way he is.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to change things," Diaz said. "I refuse to hate my body. I just want to be better."

This is a message that oftentimes is hard to understand, but is so vital to "get" as we seek to move to a new way of viewing our own selves.

I remember one yoga client I had who struggled with her weight her entire life. Her main reason for working with me and trying yoga was to get rid of her excess belly weight.

A drive to improve the way one looks is often the precipitating factor that causes one to begin yoga or any kind of new workout regimen. Of course, we can usually see the positive health benefits, too, but oftentimes, outer appearance is what first motivates us to change.

Unfortunately, that very fact can sometimes make or break whether one will stick with the program and whether one will be improving one's body image or mangling it more in the process.

We can desire to make positive changes, even in our physical appearance, which can sometimes be thought of as being superficial, and still have a positive body image while we're at it.

What I kept stressing to my client, which she had a hard time grasping, as most of us do, is just because we want to change our outer appearance, doesn't mean we can't love how we look right now.

We do not have to lie to ourselves either about what we'd like to change or what we don't like; we can be honest about not liking our cellulite or our muffin top or whatever it is that we are setting out to improve upon.

The attitude that can derail us from improving out body image is when we are angry at ourselves for how we look now, or when we feel that how we look now is something to be fought and railed against.

The key is to recognize that those "imperfections" we see do not make us any less a valuable person.

Positive body image does not mean having a "perfect" body, but rather loving the body we have today, even while we might want to make some changes.

Dream Bigger, Then Grow

By Michelle Worthington

The quote that sums up my writing mission is, "Work until you no longer have to introduce yourself."

First, you have to work. Nothing comes easy in this life and your passion must be proportionate to the size of your goal. I am not afraid of hard work.

Second, keep working until you make it happen. It might be a long hard slog and there will be times you want to give up, but your tenacity must be stronger than your self-doubt.

Finally, be known as an expert in your field. Some people may mistake my goal of brand recognition as vanity or showmanship, but I can't help people if they don't know who I am. I can't share my story with them, inspire them or make a difference in this world if I sit back and wait for them to come looking for me. 

They won't.

Photo of Michelle Worthington

I have never implied I am more talented, special or worthy than anyone else and that is not what marketing yourself as a brand is about.  I can promise you that as long as I see a need, I will try to fill it. It is my duty, not only to myself, but to my children and my community to use my talents to increase the greater good. I will work hard so that when people hear my name, they will smile.

My second goal is to be interviewed on breakfast television about my writing.  The third is to increase brand awareness of Michelle Worthington, Author, on social media. The fourth is to sell more books. The final goal is to get speaking engagements nationally at writers’ festivals and women's groups where most authors make the majority of their income.

Providing for my family and setting a good example for our kids is above other things why I want to be successful. Strangely enough, I wouldn't put this as my top reason for wanting to be a writer. When your goal is hard, and your dream is bigger than your comfort zone, can living a dream for someone else really be enough to keep you motivated?

Is it so awful to want to achieve something just for yourself? Have we become so scared of being labeled 'selfish' and a 'bad mother' because we want to feel good about ourselves for something we alone have accomplished?  My kids love me and they want me to be happy, so does hubby. But, do they want the dream I have? Do they share my passion? The answer is no. Doing it for them is not enough. I have to do it for myself. What other people think of me is a huge achievement-blocker that needs to be overcome because when my goal becomes difficult to reach, it will be easy to stop and justify failure by saying it didn't turn out to be the right thing for my family and I will listen to the million reasons why I shouldn't keep trying.

What if it was the right thing for me and I just gave in because it meant my family would have had to make some changes and sacrifices for me to achieve it? My goal will also create my sanity and is my salvation. When I do achieve my goals, with the love and support of my family, it will be something I have done for myself and I want to be proud of that.

Ten Clues You’re a Mom and Not a Stripper Anymore

1)      The only time you whip out your breasts in public is to nurse your hungry baby.

2)      The best compliment you’ve received lately is when your husband saw you in jeans a few weeks postpartum and said, “You look good. Not thin, not fat, just normal” and it made you feel awesome.

3)      The comment “How beautiful!” lobbed in your direction no longer makes you think you might be able to sell a lap dance, but rather that you need to lock your daughter in her bedroom until she turns eighteen.

4)      The only hands you need to worry about tugging on your clothes and pulling your underpants down belong to fingers sticky with candy.

5)      You are now actually responsible for cleaning up all incidents of vomit, urine and feces that happen in your vicinity.

6)      Underwear is no longer about how much you can show, but how much you can hold in.

7)      The last time you had a Brazilian, it was a bag of take-out and didn’t involve hot wax, tears or walking funny the next day.

8)      The only bouncer in your employ is not a massive bodybuilder named Vinny, but a springy seat with baby elephants and kangaroos on it.

9)      The only bottle service you’re negotiating is whether you or your husband will be taking the 3 am feeding with baby.

10)  Instead of guys hassling you to negotiate for bjs, it’s all about fending off repeated requests for PB&Js.

Here is a Man and Look at His Hot Wife!

Daily Mail had such an egregious article title of how women are relegated to only being important for how they look that I had to share: 'Most comedy talent in one place!' Jerry Seinfeld beams at SNL's 40th anniversary as wife Jessica, 43, shows off toned figure.

Jerry gets to “beam” and be quoted while Jessica gets to tag along to show off her body, as if that is the only reason she exists, to be a pretty piece of arm candy for her husband.

She doesn’t even get to beam in adulation of her comic husband.

Oh! But don’t worry, while Jessica doesn’t get to say anything, at least her purse does!

“Her gold purse made a statement with the word 'Saturday' emblazoned across the front.”

Thank goodness she had her purse, or she might not have even known where she was or what day it was, huh?

And it’s not like Jerry doesn’t appreciate what he owns, as the writer sees it: “Still, the 60-year-old comedian appeared to be keen on showcasing something else - his 43-year-old wife's enviable figure.”

Oh yeah, uh-huh. I can tell that’s what Jerry is doing there.

Look at what Mail Online does next—Jerry must be happy, so that calls for a metaphor—you now, fancy writing: “The Seinfeld actor looked like the cat that got the cream as he wrapped his arm around the fit blonde.”

Jerry is a cat and his wife becomes an inanimate object.

But Daily Mail figures the photos can’t be enough, so we get a luscious description of Jessica’s body parts, errr, I mean, outfit: “Jessica's clingy purple Narciso Rodriguez jumpsuit called attention to her muscular arms, and its low-cut bodice put her cleavage on full show.”

Perhaps realizing how objectifying the article was becoming, the reader gets to learn that Jennifer actually is something besides Jerry’s wife: “The cookbook author completed the look with a black double-chain necklace and colorful dangling earrings. Her blonde locks were slicked back and she had on a bright red lip.”

Finally, we get a mention of Jerry’s attire: “Meanwhile Jerry looked dapper in a black tuxedo, crisp white shirt and black bow tie.”

Umm, yeah, his outfit just gets a sentence because we know what a man wears isn’t important, it’s what he does. So then we get a description of his experience of the SNL 40^th Anniversary special.

I understand that it’s a night about comedy and he’s a comedian and that’s why the article is about him, but why does his wife have to get turned into just an objectified thing for the night?

Can you imagine if Daily Mail wrote an article about one of the female comedians there with the title:  'Most comedy talent in one place!' Tina Fey beams at SNL's 40th anniversary as husband Jeff Richmond, shows off buff figure?

Embrace Your Inner Madonna

Perhaps it’s because I was a teenager when Madonna was first hitting it big in the 1908s, but I still hold a spot in my heart for her ability to stay relevant in our fast-moving, youth-loving culture.

And perhaps it has something to do with being a bit of a rebellion myself when I was younger by embracing my sexuality and expressing it as a stripper and nude model, but I can’t get on the bandwagon and bash Madonna’s performance at the Grammy’s.

The Daily Mail called it:

Hordes of toyboys, buttock flashing and semi-naked pictureson social media... So when WILL (56-year-old) Madonna grow up?

and

Madonna, 56, takes to the Grammys stage for yet another cringe worthy performance as she simulates sex with her male dancers

The message repeated ad nauseum seems to be that it’s OK for young artists to show cleavage and butt, but when it comes to anyone over the age of thirty—whoa! Better reign it in, old lady!

But even worse than her age is that she’s a mother!

Dear God! No! A mom who wants to continue a life of her own? A mom who believes she still gets to be who she is no matter how old she is or how many kids she has?

I’m not saying every mom should run out there and flash her body to the world, but if it’s what Madonna wants to do, then her age or parental status should have nothing to do with it.

Madonna is doing all of us mothers a favor by showing we can still embrace our Rebel Hearts.

Age is just a number.

Parental status is just one aspect of what makes up a person.

Celebrate who you are and what you want to do in life and how you want to express it.

Embrace your inner Madonna.

Express your Rebel Heart.