Stripping Down: A Memoir Free Kindle on Amazon Today

My book STRIPPING DOWN: A MEMOIR is free for Kindle on Amazon today!

Please download and let your friends know!

Why You Should Keep Writing and Not Feel Bad About Low Amazon Rankings

Credit: Chicago Sun-Times

Come on—admit it. If you have a published book you check your Amazon ranking on a consistent basis. Maybe not every day, but you keep an eye on it.

There are good reasons to keep tabs on your numbers—how else are you going to know if your publicity attempts are having an effect on your book sales? Or if your latest blog posts have sent people to your Amazon book page?

But don’t get discouraged when you are number one-million-something because just having a better-ranking does not necessarily mean your book is going to be a best seller.

Case in point: if you are anything like fired highschool coach Bryan Craig who wrote a 47-page book called “It’s Her Fault,” your excellent Amazon ranking will likely diminish once your fifteen minutes of infamy are over. And keep in mind that a good Amazon number does not necessarily mean the book is selling well, just that people are visiting the page.

Craig’s self-published 47-page, I hesitate to call it a book, perhaps booklet, which contains wisdom such as “the easiest kill for a man is through the young lady with low self-esteem,” sits as of now at #10,000 on Amazon’s best-sellers.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Craig’s numbers improve even more as his notoriety and curiosity spreads, but will it be because he has written the next classic tome?

Perhaps not—with such classic quotes as, “Women far exceed men in terms of brainpower” and “For some reason, I always find a trail of popcorn leading back to it being her fault.” Hmm…seems curious if women are so much smarter that all relationship problems would stem from us…

So the next time you are feeling like your book is unworthy, remember your Amazon ranking has nothing to do with your book’s vale or your worth as a writer.

Stay true to your mission and keep writing regardless of what the “numbers” tell you.

Minnie Mouse and Lady Gaga Want You to Know They Are Skinny

From Celebuzz.com

If almost everybody agrees that scary skinny isn't even pretty, then why do we still see that body image being presented to us as everyday as the ideal?

My latest blog for the Huffington Post looks at last week's examples of extreme Photoshopping and what it says about us.

Minnie Mouse and Lady Gaga Love Them Some Photoshop

How do you feel about beloved children's characters like Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck being made into skinny supermodels to hawk clothes for Barneys?

From Shine.Yahoo.com

And what about Lady Gaga? I thought she was all about us being proud of being "Born this Way"?

Do you think the Photoshopping of her Vogue cover sends the wrong message?

Mommy Makeover on The Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda

I had a blast having a Mommy Makeover 

with Eve Michaels on 

The Today Show 

on Monday 

with Kathie Lee and Hoda.

Image of Sheila Hageman before appearing on The Today Show

After the initial consultation with Eve Michaels, author of Dress Code: Ending Beauty Anarchy, three other moms and I spent the day in Bloomingdales shopping for the perfect outfits.

Trying on another black dress

Flouncy

The old haircut and color

I have never spent so much time 

trying on clothes!

Theory Blue Leather Coat

The next day we spent at the salon with hairdresser guru Craig. 

Melissa hanging out at Maria Benito Salon

Mary Ellen warming up with hairdryer

Clarice

Monday morning at 6am we were at the Trump Soho getting into 

hair and make-up.

Sheila Hageman

Then off to Rockefeller Center to the studio.

Dressing room neighbor...the Jonas Brothers

I couldn't sit once in my dress, so we munched on grapes with Dr. Ruth and...stood around.

Clarice, Craig, Melissa, Eve, Sheila, Julie, Mary Ellen

After our segment we took more photos and then Nick and I headed out for lunch.

Rockefeller Center

Healthy Body AND Mind and Spirit!

Fruit break during our exercise fun!

I found this great website for teens focusing on a healthy body and self-image called Bodimojo.

“Trying to get a grip on what's affecting your life? BodiMojo is all about building teen confidence! Instead of a "one-size fits all" approach, BodiMojo personalizes health and wellness information just for teenagers: body image, nutrition, fitness, eating disorders, emotional life, dating, sexual health, alcohol and drugs, and more. Through personalized quizzes, health tools and games, customized goal setting and tips, BodiMojo is all about YOU! There's plenty to check out and share on your social networks!”

It’s through websites like this that we’ll counteract pro-anorexia blogs that are out there. There are lots of great tips and tools for not only getting healthy in body, but in mind, too.

It’s important when we talk about getting healthy that we don’t just focus on body. Some recent research shows that young adults care more about their looks than what’s going on inside (not a big surprise!). Without a healthy mind and spirit, too, a healthy body won’t do us much good.

It’s never too early to encourage our children how important it is to maintain a healthy state of being…not just body!

Healthy Body Image For the Family

I've noticed a change in my energy level since I started exercising with my kids last week. I do not feel like I’m dragging myself out of bed as much in the morning, although I’ll admit I’m still tired—my almost two-year-old has reverted to waking up at least twice a night again this past month.

But when I wake up, instead of feeling no connection to my body, I rise with the buzz of my muscles alive.

It’s barely been a week, but I feel like my new routine has already become a habit. Not to mention that my children are looking forward to our evening exercise times. Even the little one can now say, “Run, Mama. Run.”

Thinking a lot about healthy body image lately and I stumbled upon this blog entry today on Emme Nation: Body Beautiful: Reflecting Healthy Body Image On Your Kids. The writer speaks about a lot of the ideas that I believe in, too.

I agree that the solution starts with me and I think I’m taking the right steps to ensure a healthy future for myself and my kids by making movement an important part of each day.

Improve Body Image by Exercising with Your Kids

Kids pretending to be stuck in mud

My body is sore and happy from my new exercise routine. My body image is soaring because I'm enjoying what my body can do (and not worrying about what it looks like). The kids love our daily excursion into our town to find new places to run and have fun.

Shakespeare Theatre

Our latest spot was the Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford, which has been closed up for years. It’s now referred to as The American Festival Theatre when they do some outside shows during the summer.

My dad used to work in the box office when I was a kid and we saw many shows here. For our purposes, we walked around the grounds and broke into jogs and runs.

Genny and I ran up and down these steps ten times!

The best part about exercising with my kids is that I can be goofy and jump and throw my arms in the air and not be embarrassed—I mean, I’m with kids! It’s okay to have fun when you’re with kids! If I were by myself jogging I would not feel so free to stop and jump and laugh.

How my children see me...

Bonus? The kids seem to be sleeping more soundly.

Summer Romance Novel Writing and Exercising with the Kids

Photo of Sheila Hageman taken by her daughter

I’ve been enjoying the summer by working on my next writing project, which is a romance novel. Five days a week I spend an hour-and-a-half working on the manuscript or write a minimum of 1,000 words. This process has been working well for me—I have an option of two different goals I can meet for the day.

I’ve not been doing as much exercise and yoga as I would like and I have been noticing the difference in my body and energy levels. I weigh the most I have ever weighed (except for when I was pregnant).

Body image issues have been floating around in my head as I try to figure out who I am on the outside and what relation it has to the inner me. I’m definitely loving my fuller-figured body, but I’m not loving that my clothes don’t fit.

In honor of wanting to set a good example for my kids I’ve decided to start on a new exercise regimen. My kids joined me last night after dinner by heading down to the bike path not too far from our home and doing some running.

Kids watching birds while Mommy stretched

I was pretty impressed with everyone’s enthusiasm and energy. Exercising with the kids definitely made it more doable and fun. And now everybody is looking forward to the next fun spot I’ll choose for us tonight!

Kate Upton's Body

I must be asleep at the proverbial who’s who in the modeling world wheel because when I kept seeing the latest Kate Upton is Fat headlines going by I had no idea who she was.

Today one headline from Fox News caught my attention enough to click through: Kate Upton blasts critics: 'I'm not going to starve just tobe thin.'

Oh! I said to myself—they’re talking about that woman from the Sports Illustrated cover.

Wait a minute…someone called her lardy?!

Skinny Gossip, a pro-skinny website, thinks she’s fat!

“Look, I’ll admit – I love In’n’Out as much as the next gurl, but it’s not supposed to be an everyday thing, Kate! And we can be sure that Kate is the rare model who poses with food – and then actually devours it. 

She doesn’t just look vulgar – she’s also never afraid to act the part…she is easily the most “porny” model to enter the mainstream in a very long time. She looks like she would work in the back of a motorcycle shop in Nashville and give (bad) blow jobs for $25.”

Wow. I know about the pro-anorexia sites out there that put super-skinny models and actresses and models on pedestals as beacons of what women should strive to be, but I didn’t know they also bashed fuller-figured ones as well.

And I say fuller-figured with a bit of a suppressed chuckle because we all know that Upton is by no means fat or full-figured even, she is voluptuous, which is quite different.

I’m glad that Upton laughed off the comments: “I’m not going to starve just to be thin. I want to enjoy life, and I can’t if I’m not eating and miserable," she said, according to The Sun.

But really, if there are women out there who would call a SI model “well-marbled,” what image of an ideal body type do they have in mind? Are we so used to seeing sickly-skinny models that one with a teensy bit of flesh is considered fat?

How to Improve Women's Body Image

I love these simple ideas for improving body image at Psych Central: Body Image Booster: Keep it Simple.

The blog asks: What’s the simplest way you’ll build a more positive body image?

I especially relate to this simple tip:

Move my body, because that’s when I feel most powerful. To me feeling empowered is part of a positive body image. Moving can be anything from going to the gym to stretching to taking a walk outside to swimming in the pool to riding my bike.

Such a great and different focus! Instead of simply talking about all the body image problems women have, they offer weekly advice on how to improve our sense of ourselves.

Book Reading and Signing at Stratford Library

Sheila signing books

A huge thank you to the Stratford Library and Tom Holehan for sponsoring my Meet-the-Author Event last week.

Sheila answering questions

I met a lot of wonderful book readers who share my enthusiasm for memoir.

Sheila meeting the audience

I was impressed by the thoughtful questions and comments I received about my personal experiences, writing and important issues like body image, motherhood and truth in memoir.

I'll keep you updated on future readings.

Meet-the-Author Event at Stratford Library

If you're going to be in the Fairfield County, CT, area next Wednesday, June 13th, stop by the Stratford Library for my meet-the-author event at 7 pm.

I'll be reading from Stripping Down: A Memoir and answering questions.

There will be books for purchase and autographs freely flowing!

I hope to see you there!

Should People Judge Octomom for Her Career Choices?

I commented yesterday on Celebrity Momster on the story that Nadya Suleman, Octomom, was becoming a stripper for a brief stint at a Florida strip joint.

Today, Celebs on Gather reports—Octomom Nadya Suleman Cancels Strip Club Gig; Why?

“According to a report from TMZ, Suleman's rep Gina Rodriguez told a TMZ reporter that a bartender from the club T's Lounge was interviewed about Suleman's upcoming appearance and was less than kind about her personal life.”

While that is true, the person interviewed didn’t say anything that hasn’t been said about Suleman before. I wonder if this is truly the reason she decided to cancel the gig. Maybe she had second thoughts or maybe she got a better offer.

Regardless, I hope that Suleman has made the best decision for herself for her own reasons, not for something someone else thought or judged about her decisions.

This story raises the question yet again—what does our society believe is okay for a mother to do or be? And do we as mothers agree with how society defines our roles as mothers?

Birthdays Make Us Say Stuff

My daughter's school birthday celebration

Yesterday I turned 41-years-old. I’ve been allowing a sneaky thought to find its way into my brain. Because I’m 41 it’s okay to not exercise or care about my body. I’ve been eating whatever I want and not doing anything for making myself feel strong and powerful and beautiful.

Yes, I’ve been going to therapy and that’s a huge thing. Yes, I’m introspective.

Yes, I realize that I don’t need my body to be perfect to feel good about myself.

I won’t lie and say I want to get in shape for purely health reasons, although that’s the major impetus.

I feel bad about the condition of my whole being. I know exercise and eating right will make me feel better on all levels. Yet I’ve been resistant to change.

I’m so busy being a mom to three little kids and writing and doing publicity. I feel guilty taking time for myself. But if I take some time to get healthy, won’t that help on all levels of my existence?

Today, I change.

Today is my first tennis class; it is 90 degrees out.

The paramedics may need to be called.

Stripping Down on CT Style

Here's my interview on WTNH channel 8's CT Style.

Enjoy!

Anderson Cooper and CT Style

Lot of rain here in the Northeast, but I'm keeping busy nonetheless!

Part II of an interview with me is up today on Elena Hartwell's Arc of a Writer blog. We discuss the process of memoir writing and how to remember all those pesky details for your writing.

I had a great time at Anderson Cooper's daytime talk show. The episode aired yesterday. I talked about Natalie Oliveros's story, a porn actress and mother, who is trying to rewrite her future as a wine purveyor.

The question was: Can a  "porn-mom" be a good mother? And you know what my answer is already.

I see no reason why a woman's occupation should determine anything having to do with being a mother. We can all be good mothers and have "other" selves that we don't share with our young children.

You can check out my clip (as recorded on my cell phone; sorry!) here.

And be sure to check out my interview tomorrow with CT Style on WTNH channel 8 in New Haven, CT, at 12:30 PM.

Time Magazine Provokes Conversation with Breastfeeding Mom Cover

Here’s mom, 26-year-old Jamie Lynne Grumet, breastfeeding her son on Time magazine’s cover.

It certainly got the attention of moms everywhere. The article accompanying the somewhat controversial photo is all about attachment parenting and has a profile of Dr. William Sears.

While I think the cover was designed precisely to stir up strong emotions from both camps, I don’t have a problem with the cover photo.

I think the headline: Are You Mom Enough? is more controversial, but once again, controversy is where it’s at if you want to get noticed today.

The big question becomes what kind of conversation this photo will open.

Hopefully, there won’t just be lots of attacks and silly comments from people, but maybe there will be some setting aside of preconceived notions and judgments from moms on both sides of the issue so we can examine how our ideas of attachment parenting versus “modern” parenting are just that—ideas.

Can we finally set aside what “method” of parenting is right or wrong and simply find a way to support all parents in raising their children in the best way each family sees right for them?

"Glam-Me" National Moms Night Out Event

 I'll be speaking at the Mommy's Links sponsored event "Glam-Me" Girls Night Out tonight.

Celebrating NATIONAL MOMS NIGHT OUT, focusing in WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT!

Thursday, May 10, 2012
6:00 PM TO 10:00 PM
The Society Studios
317 Rutledge Street
Brooklyn, NY 11206
(Between Harrison Avenue and Broadway)

And just for being my friend and all, you can purchase discounted tickets today as a VIP guest!

I hope to see you there!

Why is Porn Seen as the Best Option for these Moms?

Perhaps because Mother’s Day is right around the corner, there are a lot of controversial moms in the news this week.

Another porn star/mother is Alana Evans, who appeared on Dr. Drew’s HLN show May 1st and was reported on the Huffington Post.

"Porn saved my life. It gave me a way to be with my son, to be with him every day after school," Evans said. "It gave me enough to take care of myself to take care of him, to pay our bills without being on welfare and stay off public assistance."

“Evans even came to the defense of "Octomom" Nadya Suleman, who shortly after filing bankruptcy, has reportedly signed on to star in a masturbation video for extra money.

"Any woman who's willing to do whatever she has to to take care of her children -- even if that means doing porn -- good for her," Evans said. "Other people may not agree with it, but ... in reality she is putting her kids first."”

I totally support women doing what they need to do to make ends meet as long as they feel good about what they are doing and not harming anyone.

Perhaps the big issue that isn’t being addressed is that porn is the best option these women see for themselves as a way to make enough money to support their kids and spend time with them.

Why is that? Why are there not better options for working mothers?

Can a Porn Star Be a Good Mom?

20/20’s theme Friday was “True Confessions,” which wouldn’t be complete without an adult entertainer of some sort.

ABC News introduces us to Natalie Oliveros, mom to 10-year-old Luchino, who is a porn star know as Savanna Samson.

"My life means nothing without, without him," Oliveros said. "Everything that I've done in my life, all the choices I've made, will one day benefit him instead of being a shameful thing for him."

We also have “Octomom” Nadya Suleman in the news this week saying that she might consider doing porn in order to provide for her children: Octomom Nadya Suleman Reevaluates Porn.

So the question everyone’s discussing: Can an adult entertainer be a good mother?

Well, let’s take a look at what really matters—is the mother providing for her family, raising her children to be good people, and being true to herself?

If a mother can say yes to all these questions, then I don’t see what the problem is. Being an adult entertainer is a legal job. Yes, it’s a job that requires a level of openness with one’s sexuality that not all people have, but if the woman is not harming others, why should it matter?

"I'm just an entertainer, and this is how I choose to entertain," Oliveros said. "And, morally speaking, that's what's confusing about me, is that I do have morals. And yet, it's contradictory, I guess, by the industry I'm in."

We all have different morals and those morals even change over time. But that’s just it—they are our morals, no one else’s to decide for us.

As adults, we all have “secrets” we don’t come right out and share with our children when they are too young to understand. And if we’re parents, we’ve all pretty much probably had sex at some point in our lives. Sex and children kind of go hand-in-hand.

So to jump to the conclusion that just because someone has sex for money on film that they can’t be a good parent just doesn’t add up. To attach our own “values” surrounding sexuality and what it should look like is unfair.

We all make choices and yes, there may be repercussions for adult entertainers in the form of more explaining that needs to be done for our children. But in the long run, sexuality is a complicated issue no matter whether we are or have been strippers or porn stars or are just moms who have more traditional careers.