Stripping Down is Free Today for Kindle!

My memoir Stripping Down is available for free today and tomorrow for Kindle!

Please download a copy and enjoy!

I'd appreciate any reviews you could leave at Amazon or GoodReads!

Stripping as a Feminst Act

Please check out Great Debates, which is a new platform, where Huffington Post pits two expert bloggers against one another to tackle some of today's most pressing issues.

In their first Great Debate, Can Stripping Ever Be Feminist?, stripper-turned-author Sheila Hageman blogs that you can take your clothes off for men and still be a feminist, whilst women's rights campaigner Navprit Rai insists stripping can never be a feminist statement.

Why Strippers Become Trapped

My Fox Detroit has a piece, Why Some Exotic Dancers Become Trapped by Alexis Wiley, about how easily women can become trapped by the stripping life. A lot of the issues discussed are what I examine and offer help with in my book The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You?

“Kalisha Madden and Cherice Gordon have been missing for nearly three months. Both women are exotic dancers from Detroit. Many wonder if their lifestyle as strippers played a role in their disappearance. Often times, the lure of money puts these women in harm's way. FOX 2's Alexis Wiley takes a closer look at why it's so easy for some of these women to get trapped.”

Wiley interviews a few women who are dancers, but who had their glamorous expectations dashed by the true stripping world.

The message we see coming through is that regardless of the great money they are making, it really might not be worth it because it’s too easy to get distracted by the vices that go along with fast money.

I hear my own story in their words: "My first job was at Chuck E. Cheese, so I was like that looks a lot better than Chuck E," said Laura.

I thought the same about working at Dunkin’ Donuts and J.C. Penney.

The women discuss the dangers involved even if you’re playing by the rules, but even knowing this, they are not ready to leave the strip world.

"Once you're in, you're kind of stuck in because you start accumulating all these things that you didn't have before," said Laura. "You're kind of forced to keep going to work and paying these bills for this stuff that you didn't really need in the first place and it's just a trap."

The reporter also interviewed Anny Donewald, an ex-dancer.

"I did amateur night and I won $200, and when you're a 19-year-old college student, $200, that's a lot of ramen noodles."

But after six years, she knew she had to leave the world because she was feeling “dead.”

She went on to create Eve's Angels, which consists of women who go to clubs to offer support without judgment to strippers when they are ready to quit.

Should Breastfeeding Photos Be Kept Private?

Cafe Mom’s April Peveteaux asks: Why Are You Posting Breastfeeding Photos on Facebook, Anyway?

Her feelings are that while breastfeeding is wonderful and all, it should be all about baby and not about mom and her needs.

“Breastfeeding is an intimate act, so why are you sharing it online? I get it if you're a website dedicated to showing women the positive aspects of breastfeeding, and promoting the normalcy so we can all get over our hang-ups. But as an everyday mom just trying to feed your baby, why would you want to take your picture and post it? Breastfeeding is very personal, between you and your baby. Not you and your 3,000 Facebook friends. You don't post pictures of you and your partner in an intimate embrace, do you? And if you do, why in the world would you do that?

That's called over-sharing, people, and it's no wonder your friends get annoyed. Just like you don't want to see a picture of your FB friend in her bikini, maybe she feels weird about seeing your naked breast. (Note, if either of these scenarios is popping up because you're somewhere in public and a group photo is being taken -- all bets are off. I'm talking about posed, on purpose, intimate photos. There's a huge difference.)”

Hmm...I get what the writer is saying, but I think I kind of disagree.

Yes, breastfeeding is about providing the best for one’s baby, but there are obviously a lot of other emotions and issues attached to it for the mother.

And while nursing is an “intimate” act in one sense, it’s also just about eating. Why wouldn’t I post a photo of my child eating?

A lot of mothers may feel the need to also make a stand for the mothers who feel shamed about nursing and posting pics in a public forum can be a show of support, a way of saying—Hey! Look! I’m nursing and there’s nothing wrong about it!

And the thing I just don’t get is that people seem to think that when moms nurse that they’re sitting there with their shirt off giving a show. I’ve never seen a mother just letting it all hang out in public. When a baby is nursing, most of the breast is hidden.

All this controversy over nursing though, with moms being accused of being like strippers for nursing in public though...it’s making me want to show the difference to the world!

Do a little striptease in public and then nurse my baby. The world would see the difference!

Happy Birthday, Tempest Storm

David Moye reports on The Huffington Post about burlesque dancer Tempest Storm’s leap year birthday celebration.

What I find most fascinating is that she was dancing up to a few years ago.

“Tempest Storm's career trajectory was even longer than her contemporaries. Although she officially retired in 1995 at the age of 67, she occasionally danced on stage until June 2010, when she broke her hip at the Plaza Hotel in Las Vegas, according to the Las Vegas Sun.”

Watching this video of her really made me realize there is such a lovely vulnerability, sensuality, and openness to well-done stripteases that has so little to do with outright nudity.

Watching her dance brings me back to my days stripping and how much fun I had when I was allowed (and I allowed myself) to strip as performance and not just as body part showing.

Move Over Postpartum Depression

The Huffington Post has an interesting article on a newly studied depression in mothers—not your regular old postpartum, but weaning depression.

“One major contributing factor may be actual physiological changes taking place in the body. Breastfeeding stimulates the production of hormones such as oxytocin, known colloquially as "the love hormone." Mothers' moods may plummet in its absence.

In addition, many women may experience a profound sense of grief and loss when they wean.”

Reading this piece brings me a new sense of relief around some of the mood issues I’ve been dealing with of late. I’ve been sick for over a month now and have dealt with an exhaustion that bewilders me.

I’ve also been weaning my youngest, but very slowly, letting him take the lead.

Perhaps some of what I’ve been experiencing could relate to this weaning process, not only on an emotional level of sadness, but in fluctuations of certain hormones.

“As long as research looking at the "what" and "why" behind depression and weaning remains relatively scant, then, the best mothers may be able to hope for is that awareness of the potential connection spreads.”

Whenever I become aware of a possible connection to some aspect of my depression I feel a new sense of being able to make it through.

I hope this story will resonate with other women experiencing these shifts in mood during weaning and perhaps spark a new wave of research.

SInead O'Connor Wants to Pose for Playboy?

Leave it to Sinead O'Connor to cause a headline by claiming she'd like to pose for Playboy.

Regardless of why she would want to pose for this magazine, I find it more interesting what it brings up for me.

Judgments. Questions.

Wonderings of what it means to be a feminst in this day and age.

Check out my blog on The Huffington Post...

Stripper Cousin Makes Me Think About Nudity

From stripper mom to stripper cousin!

Alexis Tereszcuk reports on Radar about Kate Middleton’s twenty-one year old stripper cousin Katrina Darling.

“(She) is the second cousin once removed of Kate and Pippa Middleton. Katrina’s grandmother and the Middleton sisters’ great-grandmother, Lily, were sisters.

She calls herself the “Royal Family’s closest brush with soft porn,” and Katrina will be stripping on March 13 at her X-rated God Save the Queen show at WIP in SoHo.”

I guess it really is all about nudity and publicity, isn’t it?

A nude hat fashion show gets publicity. A nude semi-royal gets publicity.

It’s official. The world likes nudeness!

“I take my clothes off, but I don’t give away anything that should be kept for someone else,” she told the New York Post.

Well, I would think that’s subjective, isn’t it? Some people would think even showing a little leg to someone you’re not married to is sacrilegious.

I mean, is there an accepted amount of nudity anymore?

Can a stripper be modest?

Can a bikini model be prudish?

Is it okay to be topless on a beach but not in a magazine?

Does it matter what the nudity’s intent is?

How nude is too nude?

Nude Pregnant Model Wears a Hat

Thank you Daily Mail for this story—Hat's on! But everything else is off... Pregnant glamour model walks the runway naked at London Fashion Week—by Maysa Rawi.

To sum it all up for you, there’s this hat designer who is an unknown and, well, she really wanted some publicity, so, you know, she had a fashion show and she had her models wear hats and nothing else, and oh yeah, one of the models was eight-months pregnant.

And she’s the first one to say the nudity has no artistic meaning or value other than, getting people’s attention.

“Coles, 31, from Pontypool, South Wales, said she wanted to include Cahill, who is a friend from home, because it is rare to see pregnant women on the catwalk.”

Well, I suppose this is good in the sense that an artist is taking a cue from advertisers and doing what it takes to get people to take notice of her wares.

Hmm, should I call her an artist if she herself admitted just doing it for publicity’s sake?

And I don’t see anything too spectacular about the hats, so I imagine the initial burst of publicity will not result in anything momentous, but she did get the free publicity she was looking for.

As for the pregnant model? Cool for her. I bet she felt beautiful walking nude in all her Mama glory. I know whenever I’m pregnant, I feel very secure in my body image because I know people aren’t judging me for my weight gain.

Human Trafficking at a Strip Club?

An interesting story from Cape Times on iol News, “Mavericks dancers: We’re free to come and go.”

There have been allegations of human trafficking at Mavericks strip club in South Africa. A reporter interviewed three dancers and checked out their accommodations and the club.

Apparently women come to Mavericks from other countries for the good money.

“The spotlight has fallen on the behind-the-scenes activities of Mavericks strip club, with Western Cape High Court Judge Siraj Desai asking the Human Rights Commission to investigate the working conditions of exotic dancers at the club, saying they could constitute human trafficking.

This was after corporate permits for 200 foreign dancers were revoked by the Department of Home Affairs. Mavericks owner Shane Harrison invited the Cape Times to visit the dancers’ residential premises, where Zara NICHOLSON spoke to three women.”

The owner provides the dancers with their own room in a nice building with a pool; they do have to pay the club a monthly fee to work at Mavericks, which includes the boarding if they so choose.

Two of the three women interviewed are mothers. One is caring for severely handicapped boys and now can afford three nannies. Another one is putting herself through school to have a better life.

I suppose as long as exotic dancing offers women the opportunity to make quick cash when there are no other jobs available, we’re going to have women willing to strip.

I am pretty astonished at how much money these women must be making though to afford the lifestyles they refer to.

One dancer said, “I would not be able to afford the help I need for my kids in any other way. I am giving them a good life, we have a beautiful house with a garden and a pool,” she said.

These three dancers were picked to be interviewed by the owner of the club. Hmm...

Breastfeeding Mother Compared to a Stripper

Cole Nursing

WSAV reports on the latest breastfeeding kerfuffle.

A Georgia mother was compared to a stripper for breastfeeding her baby during church service.

Nirvana Jennette said, “I was told to go nurse in the bathroom and was told to cover up and go away. I knew the bond and importance of breastfeeding and that’s what I decided to do for my baby.”

And then she was asked not to return to the church.

I find it amazing that people will get so riled up by a woman nursing her baby, but will be okay with Sports Illustrated’s annual swimsuit issue that displays a woman almost nude on magazine racks where children of all pages pass by.

A nursing mother is nourishing her child; a sports magazine is basically calling looking at pretty naked women a “sport.”

I would much rather explain to a small child what a nursing mother is doing than what a swimsuit model is doing.

But the funny thing is that children never seem upset or confused at all if they see me nursing in public; it’s always only been adults.

A statewide nurse-in will be held in protest to raise awareness of breastfeeding Monday, March 5 from 10 AM to 2 PM.

For more information, visit the State Nurse-in Page on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/YOURSTATENURSEIN/ or sign the petition at http://www.change.org/petitions/establish-better-protection-for-breastfeeding-mothers.

Congrats to Redbook Magazine for Honoring All Mothers

Why CAN'T stripping be right for some moms?

An opinion piece on Fox news, Not your mother’s magazine: Redbook supports stripping, by Penny Young Nance, does not pay tribute to a hard-working stripper mom.

The writer is quite offended by Redbook Magazine’s two-page feature in the March issue on a mother who strips to afford to send her four-year-old daughter to a private school.

“Is Redbook seriously suggesting that stripping is a legitimate answer to an American family’s economic hardships?” Nance asks.

In these economic times, why shouldn’t this be a career choice for a mother if she feels good about it? It most definitely isn’t the right career decision for many, but for the few who want to give it a try, why should we belittle them?

Nance goes on to say: “Had the staff at Redbook done their research, they would know that the strip club industry has painful ramifications on society and leads to pornography addiction, gangs, drug use and sex trafficking — just to name a few.”

Well, I would be interested in knowing what research shows that stripping specifically leads to these societal ills. Where is the direct cause and effect link?

Why are we out to condemn women who choose to work as strippers?

Nance believes: “Instead of irresponsibly promoting the acceptance of stripping, Redbook should highlight the work of strong, compassionate women who counsel, support, and shelter strippers trapped in that dangerous life. It is these inspirational women who deserve two-page tributes in major magazines.”

While it would also be splendid to honor these women Nance mentions, she is speaking of the women who are “trapped.” What is so wrong about honoring the women who take their own decisions into their own hands and choose to be strippers and do not feel trapped but rather empowered?

Not every stripper feels trapped. Not every woman has the same feelings about sexuality, sensuality and their expression.

Can we support women, especially mothers, as we all make our own difficult choices?

Strip Clubs Should Support a Proposed Pole Tax

Pantagraph reports that a strip club tax has been proposed by a state senator in Illinois.

“Under legislation pending in the Illinois Senate, operators of adult entertainment facilities would pay a $5 fee to the state for each person who enters their establishments, with the proceeds going to fund rape crisis centers and other sexual assault assistance organizations.”

I applaud State Sen. Toi Hutchinson’s idea. She adds up that since topless clubs are supplying “sex and alcohol,” which can sometimes be triggering factors to abuse that they should be willing to aid the plight of abused women.

Of course, I also understand the Illinois Club Owners Association’s opposition to this legislation.

"What do the clubs have to do with abused women?" Ronan said. "I don't want to make light of it, but we just don't get the connection."

Other states have tried similar legislation, but have never succeeded in their implementation.

I mean, if we’re going to tax things that might be dangerous and put that money toward helping groups that might be affected by similar things, we can actually probably help a lot of people.

Cigarette taxes to go toward aiding youth without health insurance or on cleaning up our environment?

Junk food taxes to help battle the problem of childhood obesity?

The question then becomes—where does the taxing end?

From the strip clubs viewpoint though I would think there’s a positive way to view the legislation. Instead of fighting it, why not champion it? Show the world that strip clubs aren’t all bad? That although there is alcohol and the fantasy of sex sold, there are also decent people who want to do good in the world in existence in that same environment.

Pole Skivvies Interview

Listen to internet radio with PoleSkivvies on Blog Talk Radio

Check out my interview with Jennifer Michelle of Pole Skivvies on Blog Talk Radio.

Jennifer is the owner of Pole Skivvies, a website and blog for the pole community.

We discuss my guidebook and self-discovery journal, The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It), the misconceptions people have about strippers, what qualities make for a good stripper, the dialogue between the pole dancing community and strippers, and women's expression and conflict of sexuality.

Jennifer has also introduced a new award…

PoleSkivvies knows there’s another side to pole. One beyond debates on sexy versus fitness, or whether we should be in the Olympics.

We see how many studios contribute to charities, how many hold fundraisers. We see how often pole dancers reach out to help one another in times of need, and we know the primary goal within the pole community is one of encouragement and support.

PoleSkivvies thinks it’s time to shift the focus to what’s really important.

That’s why we created the Make a Difference Award.

Designed to recognize the strength and compassion within the pole community, it honors those who have made it a priority to give back, both within and outside the world of pole.

An annual award, it will first be awarded June 2012, with the winner to be announced at the International Pole Convention. The winner will be awarded:

•An inscribed plaque

•$500 donation from PoleSkivvies to the charity or cause they support

•One hour of marketing coaching from J Michelle Marketing

•Free advertising of their pole studio or product for one year in Pole Dance Magazine Online

•Write-ups in Vertical Art & Fitness Magazine and Pole Dance Magazine Online

In addition, they will serve as PoleSkivvies Ambassador for one year, promoting pole, community, and giving back.

Check out her website for more information about the award!

Stripping Down: A Memoir - Now Available

Stripping Down is now available on Amazon, for the Kindle and for the Nook.

“I feel the weight of the hammer from the dusty workbench in my sweaty palm and hit the padlock. My heart thumps in my bony chest. I listen for the humming sound of my mother’s car backing into the driveway. I hit again. I listen. The lock pops open.”

At twelve years old, everything changed for Sheila with the discovery of her estranged father’s porn collection. Found locked away in a corner of the basement, the glossy images ignite in her an unrelenting desire for attention and adoration. Now, reflections on her past as a stripper permeate her thoughts as she takes on the new roles of mother, caregiver and wife. While helping her baby daughter take her first steps, she nurses her mother through the final stages of breast cancer. This powerful and beautiful story is a moving meditation on a woman’s life through her body, motherhood and loss.

Spiraling through memories and torn between the woman she is becoming and the woman she has been, Sheila Hageman is continually Stripping Down.

Advance Praise for Stripping Down:

“It removes the varnish from the surface of one woman’s life to see what dances below. This is not a romanticized tale of easy redemption—e.g. unhappy girl stripper becomes happy woman, yogini, and mother; rather, it takes you on a sincere and complicated journey—a long drive to the self.”

--Elena Georgiou

“I admit I didn't expect what I found in Hageman's beautiful prose. This is not another stripper memoir. It's a powerful meditation on the body, on family, and ultimately on self-love.”

-- Kerry Cohen, author of Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity

“Stripping Down is more than a tale of an ex-stripper. It’s an author’s exploration of her relationships, insecurities and decisions—however unsavory. With complete candor, Hageman reveals how she danced naked for money and adoration, her infidelities, mixed feelings about motherhood, and the toll her mother’s battle with breast cancer took on her. Hageman's story is told without pretense or excuse, allowing for a vulnerability and honesty rarely seen, resulting in her most courageous act of all-an emotional stripping.”

--Corbin Lewars, author of Creating a Life: The memoir of a writer and mom in the making

“Sheila Hageman's Stripping Down is that brilliant, impossible, difficult, and intensely satisfying book that tells the truth about the body–an enterprise, according to Virginia Woolf, that is well-nigh impossible. The province of womanhood and daughterhood, wellness and illness, concealment and exposure are examined with an intensity and honesty that's truly rare. A necessary and important book.”

--Louise DeSalvo Author of Writing as a Way of Healing

Thank Strippers For Brad Pitt!

How interesting. According to Contact Music, Brad Pitt has a stripper to thank for his career taking off. Well, maybe not exactly, but…

Before Brad Pitt was discovered, he took work as a driver for exotic dancers. One of the women he chauffeured for was taking acting lessons with Roy London and Pitt joined her for a class and he took Pitt on.

Maybe that acting teacher was his big break. You never know.

Thank goodness for strippers. We brought Brad Pitt to the world!

We have done good in the world!

Victoria’s Secret Model Kylie Bisutti Puts Her Clothes On

From The Hollywood Gossip:

“Kylie Bisutti, a Victoria's Secret lingerie model, recently quit that job because it conflicted with her hardcore Christian beliefs, and to save her body for her husband.

She will still model, but only in ways that honor the Lord.”

Bisutti was discovered at nineteen in a Victoria’s Secret modeling contest and has since modeled for them.

Kylie Bisutti was interviewed on Good Morning America where she talked about her epiphany when her 8-year-old cousin was watching her.

"I was doing my makeup in the mirror one day and she was watching me… She just looked at me and she was like, 'I think I want to stop eating so I can look like you.'"

"I didn't want to be that type of person that she thought she had to do that. Thousands of girls that think beauty is an outer issue, and really it's a heart issue."

Most comments have been positive for supporting Bisutti’s choice. There have been a few people who can’t understand why it took her so long to see the light. But we never know when we are going to change our minds about things like this.

I think it’s a strong message that lets women know it’s okay to do one thing and realize later you can change; we are always evolving.

"I'm definitely going to pursue modeling," she said. "I just want to be more wholesome and the jobs that I choose are always going to be honoring the Lord."

I do wonder about how Bisutti will determine what jobs will be “honoring the Lord.” Is modeling in any way honorable? She will still be representing an image to young women about the importance of external beauty even if she has more clothes on.

How do you feel? Do you think it’s acceptable and healthy to be a model as long as you’re wearing clothes? Is there really a difference?

Get Inside a Stripper's...Head

I found this video on The Gloss website: Sh*t People Say to Strippers.

It is pretty spot-on things I used to hear both from other women and from the customers, but there are many other fine gems of questions that were left out, like:


Q: When are you gonna show it?

A: Soon, baby.

A in my head: (Evil laugh) Never!


Q: Why is someone like you in a place like this?

A: I love dancing!

A in my head: Dear Lord, I have no idea.


Q: How much money do you really make?

A: I do okay.

A in my head: I’d do better if you’d tip me what I’m worth.


Q: Your boyfriend lets you dance?

A: Sure, he trusts me.

A in my head: Umm, I make my own decisions.


Q: Want to go out?

A: I’m not allowed to date customers.

A in my head: HAHAHAHAHAHA.


Hmm…maybe I need to make a video, too!

The Tantrum Monster Strikes Again (and Again)

Cole in a calmer moment

Another mind-numbing temper tantrum from my son today.

Is it really that difficult to be the middle child?

He began the screaming uncontrollably in the living room for possibly stubbing his toe or maybe because he didn’t want to go to school.

We tried explaining we couldn’t help him if he didn’t tell us what was wrong.

More screaming, slobbering, snot-flying, body thrashing.

A list of the approaches we tried: oh poor sweetie-pie, what’s wrong?, tough love, ignore the noise approach, and get his boots on regardless of him fighting it.

None of them worked.

Eventually Nick carried him to the minivan and strapped him into his seat with no coat, no glasses, and one Spiderman boot.

I had the joy of driving on I-95 while he screamed, which eventually petered out halfway to school. He started up again at school until his teacher came out, gathered him up and brought him inside. Crying abated.

And then I drive away wracked with Mom Guilt.

Is this just normal three-year-old craziness or is he starved for more attention?

Bare It Like Beckham

Celeb Baby Laundry brings to light our first Stripper Dad. Just how does one explain to a child why one is half-naked in a photo in the public’s eye?

“David Beckham who recently a launched a bodywear line with H&M will be featured in a 30-second Super Bowl commercial wearing nothing but his H&M tighty whitey and his children are not to pleased!

“The boys are pretty embarrassed about it. They’re kids, so they said ‘Oh my God Daddy, not again. That’s really good, but everyone’s going to see you in your pants (underwear)’,” Beckham tells Britain’s Daily Mirror.”

I wonder if it’s because we are talking about a dad appearing in his undies that it causes more embarrassment. The Beckham boys’ mother appears in underwear in public frequently. I wonder if they are embarrassed by that as much.

Or are we so used to seeing women in lingerie in advertisements that that doesn’t cause as much underwear confusion?

Like, Oh! There’s mom in her undies on a billboard again, yawn!

Soul Speak Interview

I'm very honored and humbled to have been interviewed by Juno Cristi for Soul Speak.

Soulspeak is a new segment on this blog where I'll be featuring stories of folks from all over the world, folks like you and me, folks who are out there making a difference in today's world--- just positive, warm, individuals dedicated to uplifting the world with their craft and spirit, each one a driving force for change. Create and connect with the collective! Good news! Good times! Good vibes!

She helped me to reconnect to my feelings of gratitude for the life I am living.

Please check out the interview and support her endeavors.

Picking My Battles (I Keep Forgetting)

This morning was off to a decent start. My sinus infection was the least horrendous it’s been in a week and a half. I was ready to battle the day.

The kids were actually in the kitchen ready to get their shoes on at 8:30. And then the trouble began.

I guess my son’s Lightning McQueen sneakers are a wee bit big on him, so he likes to wear them on the wrong feet because he says they feel better that way.

Well, he wanted me to put them on for him this morning and I tried to put them on the right feet. Big mistake.

Screaming. Throwing of sneakers.

“If you want them on the wrong feet, then you need to put them on yourself.”

“No! You do it!”

Enter Dad.

“You’re going to put them on the right feet. It’s bad for your feet the other way.”

And I guess his patience was worn from the constant whining and complaining from my son over the last few weeks, so he picked up Cole, put him on his lap, and tried getting his sneakers on the right feet.

At this point, his coat is soaked with tears, his glasses are mucky. And the old sinus pressure? Kicking up a notch.

All forms of logic—don’t you want to be able to run fast? Don’t you want to be comfortable? Not effective.

Now there’s kicking and flailing. The inevitable carry to the car and trying to hold him down to strap him into the car seat. But he’s got wiggly hips and I’m losing my calmness.

“I want my shoes on the wrong feet!”

I could use a tissue and some more Tylenol at this point.

Then I have him standing outside with no shoes on. More screaming. More me about to scream. Carry him inside with no shoes on.

“I want my gloves!”

Yes, here are gloves. Yes, the screaming stops. We walk outside, with no shoes. I strap him into his seat. I hand him his sneakers.

My daughter’s been sitting in her seat patiently this whole time. I start driving. Swing my head around to see Cole’s big eyes magnified in his new glasses. His feet in the wrong shoes.

“Look! A big yellow dump truck!” I point out.

There are bigger battles to worry about.

Are wrong shoes on feet really a big deal?

Dangerous Hobbies with the Kids

Menna Pritchard scales Three Cliffs Bay on the Gower peninsula with Ffion onboard 

This photo that goes along with the article, When it’s best to leave baby behind: A poster-girl for anti-cottonwool kids or the ultimate in maternal selfishness?, by Judith Woods on The UK’s Telegraph made me gulp a little extra hard.

Menna Pritchard is a rock-climber and apparently wants to include her child in her hobby. While I think it’s great she’s trying to find a way to combine mothering and hobbies, this might not be the safest decision. Especially when you note that Mom has on a helmet, but toddler doesn’t.

“Pritchard, 26, who is studying outdoor education, has said she regrets the fact that two-year-old Ffion wasn’t wearing a hard hat, although she also pointed out that this particular ascent at Three Cliffs Bay on the Gower peninsula near Swansea was so easy-peasy it didn’t, strictly speaking, require one. But any second thoughts about carrying her child up the cliff? Not a bit of it.

So does that make Pritchard a heroic poster-girl for the anti-cottonwool kids campaign? Or is she a marrow-chilling example of maternal selfishness?”

Woods goes on to describe the horrible accident that occurred in 1995 when a mother died on a treacherous mountain climb leaving behind young children.

“The prevailing opinion was that, as a mother, she had a duty of care not just to her children, but to herself…It must be noted that, by contrast, fathers who engage in dangerous activities come in for relatively little opprobrium. It would seem that in the popular imagination pursuits as diverse as skydiving, polar expeditions, insane Atlantic crossings in ever more unsuitable craft and fighting on the frontline with the Armed Forces fall under the all-encompassing rubric of “a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do”.”

So where does the answer lie for mothers wishing to pursue dangerous hobbies? Should fathers feel free to risk life and limb, but not mothers?

I would have to think that I would vote on the side of safety. If I was into mountain climbing, I would not stop following my passion. But I don’t think I would drag my child along with me.

We’re all going to die sometime and while I don’t want moms rushing to a premature grave, I don’t want them to hold themselves back from living their lives fully either. After considering the risks and benefits, I’d think you would make the choice that made the most sense.

And while I think it’s lovely to show an amazing mountain view to a child, I’m just not sure if it’s worth risking life and limb for.

What do you think? Would you include your child in a potentially dangerous hobby?

Federal Job Agency Offers Stripper Position

The Local, France’s News in English, reports “A 53-year-old former teacher was less than thrilled to receive an email from Pôle Emploi, the French government-run jobs agency, proposing a position stripping in a local nightclub.”

Uh, yeah, I would be upset, too, if I were her.

Danièle Casadamont said, "If Pôle Emploi is suggesting we go naked for money, where's it going to end?"

The job agency felt it had nothing to apologize for because it was a machine that sent the email.

"There's no problem," said Pascal Blain to regional newspaper Midi Libre. "The offer is completely legal and there's nothing discriminatory. This lady received it because she has subscribed to job offers proposed in her region."

It does seem kind of odd that a federal job agency would be sending out notices about stripping jobs.

The former teacher summed it up pretty well: "The image of women is so mistreated today," Casadamont said. "It's time to stop asking us to drop our pants."

What do you think? Would you feel offended if your country’s job agency sent you a stripper job posting?

Fix the Banana

It’s kind of like a new show—Pimp My Banana, but then again, no, it’s not.

My three-year-old has not lost his terrible twos now that he is three, unfortunately. In fact, I’d say, he’s simply perfected them and made them into the threatening threes.

He screams, whines, cries at the littlest discomfort. You know, like when I don’t get every last crumb of granola scooped out of his bowl before we pour in the Cinnamon Munchies. Or when I tell him it’s time to put our socks on our feet, not our hands, when it’s time for school.

But this morning’s latest meltdown shines the light on how absurdly a three-year-old’s brain can work. (Yes, I know it’s not absurd, I mean, he’s three, but I digress…)

I told him he could have a banana—a whole banana—once he had on his coat and shoes for school. Well, with a bit more cajoling, he did finally put the aforementioned items on the correct body parts.

That’s where Dad comes in. He did not know that the agreement was for an entire banana, thus he peeled half a banana and broke off a chunk and tried to get away with giving our son just that one piece.

Oh, no.

The screams. The cries.

“Well, do you want this piece instead?” I ask as I hand him the banana still cloaked in skin.

“No, fix the banana! Fix the banana!” he shouts as boogers pool in his nostrils.

“I can’t do that, honey,” I say and even demonstrate that banana pieces will not restick themselves together.

I try all the tricks—offer him both halves, say it’s this or nothing, try to distract him with Lightning McQueen, but alas, the crying, it continues.

Finally, my husband scoops him up to walk out the door, “Here, take the banana.” He puts one piece in each hand, my son takes a deep breath, “Ok.” And they’re out the door.

Ah, motherhood. And bananas.

Mothers Taking Care of Ourselves

A happy family moment, but what do you do when everyone is screaming?

A story on Jot Zoom reports: Mother Of Three Posts Suicide Note on Facebook Before Killing Herself.

“It seems that socializing networks are now an easy way for suicidal people to share their last wishes with their friends and family, as Cynthia Lee from Michigan, a 23 year old mother of three proves by posting a suicide note on her Facebook wall before she committed suicide.”

Stories like these just make my heart break because I can understand. I can put myself in this woman’s shoes so easily.

I’m lucky enough to be in a healthy relationship and have supportive family and friends, but if I didn’t? Raising three children in this day and age is a monumental task regardless if one is a stay-at-home mom, working mom, or some combination of the two.

The pressure to be a good mom and also have one’s own life and interests can be too much for some women.

I know I’ve been so stressed out when all three kids are having issues that it does feel overwhelming and like too much too handle. This is why it is so important that as moms we always have someone we can reach out to.

I encourage all moms who know they sometimes get stressed out to know who they will contact when they start feeling overwhelmed.

Call that person today and let them know that they will be your point-person if you need help. Then make a note for yourself in a prominent place that when you feel overwhelmed, you will pick up the phone and dial this person’s number.

It’s good to be prepared in advance. Know what you will do when you start feeling overwhelmed.

Let’s take care of ourselves and help other mothers to do the same.

"Strippers" From Long Ago

I love the photos on this blog: Exotic dancers of late XIX-th century.

“While in France they kept the can-can burlesque, in America developed all the subspecies of exotic dance performed by women: belly dance, dance on the table (the prototype strip) and other original productions. Each dancer had a pseudonym, and quite often a unique costume. Most of the photographs made in the last decade, the XIX-th century.”

The braveness and candidness of these photos are amazing for the time.

And look at those bodies—womanly and proud. Of course, a few of them look like they were suffering from the body image madness of their times with teeny-tiny waists.

I wonder what the next crazy body image demand will be…

Letters From Men Who Go To Strip Clubs

This is an interesting project by journalist and blogger Susannah Breslin that’s making headlines in Salon and Time.

Breslin has added a new blog to her repertoire of “letters” from men. In “LETTERS FROM MEN WHO GO TO STRIP CLUBS,” she asks strip club customers: Why do you go to strip clubs? And then she posts their anonymous musings.

I was going to say, I have to admit, I’m surprised by the men’s well-thought answers. But then I realized, of course, there is only a certain type of strip club customer who would take the time to write an anonymous musing on why they go strip clubs.

We’re only going to see one very select view of the customers. The men who feel strip clubs calm some savage beast within them, or serve to satisfy some deep, psychological need.

The average guys who spend too many hours to count in their local clubs are too busy passing out dollar bills to pick up a pen.

Your Stripper is Overdue

The Ottawa Sun reports that The Ottawa Public Library is piloting a program called the Human Library on Jan. 28.

“The library is partnering with the CBC and the Canadian War Museum to loan out people as ‘human books’.

“Real People. Real Conversations. Talk to people one-on-one about their diverse experiences.””

So you can check out all kinds of people for some conversation including: paramedic, firefighter, judge, hooker, and, of course, stripper.

I think it’s awesome that the program is offering such an eclectic offering of human books. It would be a shame if the only reads available were your typical job-fair or bring-your-parent-to-school type jobs.

Perhaps this is a way to legitimatize the work that all people do.

Man's Greatest Fantasy: Stripper With Heart of Gold!

Screen Junkies highlights movies starring “Strippers with Hearts of Gold.”


I’m not sure if I agree with writer Gregory Wakeman that “Cinema has often looked to honor these characters...” though.

It seems more to me that Hollywood bigwigs like to make movies with strippers in them to draw in an audience. And then the studio heads are drawn to the scripts that fantasize strippers as not only totally hot, but also amazing humans.

That way, a man can fulfill his absolute desire—to have a woman who is sexually adventurous and also a real sweetheart and someone you would actually want to bring home to mom during the day. But once nighttime comes—watch out! She’s ripping off that bodice!

Seven-Year-Old Body Image

Two different friends pointed me to this excellent piece by Janell Hoffmann “Mom, I’m Fat:” One Mother’s Inspired Response to Her 7 Year Old on Rachel Simmons’ website.

In the essay, Hoffman reacts just as I believe I would if my daughter said those words. She’d dumbfounded; she’s done everything right in raising her to love herself just the way she is. She tries to talk her way through the issue with her daughter but finally feels out of words.

That’s when she does what I have resorted to in similar type situations; she strips off her own clothing and makes up a silly song.

““We are perfect, just the way we are.” It’s wild and silly, but I cannot be stopped. We’re shaking everything, and she’s belly laughing and totally thrilled. I pick her up. We are a ridiculous and magnificent pair. The other kids hear the commotion and barge in. They are confused and horrified. I carry her to the bedroom raving about all the ways we are powerful and naked and women. We settle into comfy pajamas and read a story together. Fat is not mentioned again.

On this night, I have no idea if I have succeeded. I’m not sure if what I said and did had an impact, if I fixed anything, or even if I changed her mind. But I do know that I must continue to infuse myself and my children with bold confidence. I must check in, ask questions, take the time. I must build and undo. I must be open and genuine. I must but willing to dance naked in the mirror, resist the urge to see all the ways five babies have changed me, and stare straight into my reflection with love. Then together, with a twinkle in our eyes, we only see radiance shining back.”

To me, this is what we must do as mothers of girls. We must improvise and respond to the situations presented to us. We must be honest and open. We must be willing to strip down our own inhibitions about our imperfect bodies and learn how to embrace ourselves as we teach our daughters to do the same.

Does the World Really Need a Stripper "Reality" Show?

Madame Noire’s Editor expresses her feelings about the possibility of a new reality show coming to VH1 about the Miami strip club King of Diamonds—to summarize, she’s not looking forward to it.


A dancer there, Blac China, who appeared in the rapper Tyga’s video for “Rack City” may be the star of the show.

“And if the show will be anything like the “Rack City” video, which features some exotic dancing entertainment, you’ll be subjected to a whole lot of booty shots, pole twirling and thirsty (I’m talking DEHYDRATED) guys going gaga at the club.”

The Editor points out that she has nothing against the ladies working there, but she doesn’t see any good of bringing this show to television. And I would have to agree.

I’m not against strippers stripping obviously, but if this just becomes the next new reality show to go mainstream I think we’re heading down a bumpy road.

I mean, what age women watch VH1?

I’m sure there’s going to be a whole lot of the glamorization of stripping presented without a hefty dose of the reality behind the dancers’ lives. Except of course when it leads to drama and catfights and all those other stripper stereotypes you can think of.

I fear that the show will be edited to convince people that all the stereotypes they have about strippers are true.

I’ve got news for you world—they’re not.

A New Low--Stripper Fighting

I find this news bit on TMZ disturbing—Lil’ Wayne happily watched a new “sport,” otherwise known as stripper fighting.

At the Miami club King of Diamonds he lounged ringside as two supposed strippers punched each other. Then he awarded the winner $1,000 in singles.

Is this really what people find entertaining?

What ABout Us Average Women?

The Daily Mail’s Tamara Abraham reports on an article in PLUS Model Magazine that claims “Most runway models meet the BMI criteria for anorexia.”

“A magazine dedicated to plus-size fashion and models has sparked controversy with a feature claiming that most runway models meet the Body Mass Index criteria for anorexia.

Accompanied by a bold shoot that sees a nude plus-size model posing alongside a skinny 'straight-size' model, PLUS Model Magazine says it aims to encourage plus-size consumers to pressure retailers to better cater to them, and stop promoting a skinny ideal.”

I applaud the magazine’s photo shoot that spotlights size 12 model Katya Zharkova, 28, with a “regular” size model to show the discrepancy in their bodies.

The photos are accompanied by remarks made about women and body image, such as “Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less.”

The expose does a great job of highlighting what an extreme there is between a “regular” model and a “plus size” model.

What this experiment on body image seems to bring to light for me is that we are missing most in the media is the middle ground.

We need to see more average-size women, not just skinny or curvy—what about the mass majority of women who just fall into that middle zone? What should we be called? “Average” models?

Why can’t we just see a mix of ALL sizes in magazines? Why does it have to be skinny or plump?

We will have achieved success in body image when we open a magazine and see photos of all sizes of women mixed together in a normal fashion magazine rather than women being separated into categories of this and that extreme.

How can we put more pressure onto fashion magazines and media to more accurately represent the full array of women’s beauty?

Breast Cancer Awareness

Giuliana Rancic has become a poster child for breast cancer awareness since being diagnosed this past year. She was very candid with letting her television audience know what was going on.


She made the decision to have a double mastectomy for the one percent chance that the cancer might return. And then she returned to work two weeks later.

A piece in the Huff Post quotes Giuliana Rancic at the Television Critics Association press tour: "I don't give two shits about my breasts. I didn't care that at the Golden Globes, I wouldn't be able to show cleavage.”

I’m glad Rancic is being so open about discussing her situation. She stands in a position to help other women make a difficult decision.

I’ve often look back and wondered if my mother had had a mastectomy when she was first diagnosed if she would still be here with us today.

I’d much rather be alive and breastless than the alternative.

How do you think you would face a breast cancer diagnosis?

Our Pasts Follow Us

Another example of a teacher being penalized for her past—Pumps Magazine reports that former New York City teacher Melissa Petro, was forced to resign because of her past employment choices.


Apparently, Petro worked not only as a stripper, but also as a prostitute, but she quit long before she started teaching.

Now Petro will be appearing in Penthouse’s February issue in a spread with the clichéd naughty school teacher theme.

Petro supposedly feels good about reverting back to her old line of work: “A part of me likes being exposed — the more exposed the better.”

What is it about our culture that makes people want to expose so much? Do we all want to be seen so badly that we look for ways to get ourselves out there no matter what?

And is my becoming a writer just another way to expose myself? Just now with words instead of clothes?

Can You Spell E-x-h-i-b-i-t-i-o-n-i-s-t?!

John Semley from AV Club Toronto exposes the latest stripping niche—spelling and stripping!


I give you the Toronto Strip Spelling Bee created by Montreal author Sherwin Sullivan Tjia.

This competitive event that happens whenever the author feels like it sounds like an event I could really get behind (a little tushie joke there!). It’s such an interesting mix of sexy and smart.

Tija explains in the interview that some of the people who attend are exhibitionists, but there are others who just need a little prodding to have fun. And it’s all in good sport—people only strip down to their underwear.

I love the concept of nudging people into fun. This is how Tija describes it:

“What I’ve discovered is that there are people that want to show their bodies to the world. But if you ever told them to do a striptease, they would say, “No.” They’d feel vain, or that people would judge them. But within the framework of a spelling bee, where you’re forced to do this when you get a word wrong, but they’re also orchestrating it—it’s like ... I went to art school because I didn’t have the discipline to be self-propelling at the time. Sometimes you need people to crack the whip, to get you to do the things you really want to do.”

And my favorite part? Usually when the still-clothed winner comes to collect their trophy, they usually strip down anyway.

Gap Kids' Booty Shorts!

I learned about theses sequined shorts available now at Gap Kids from Jezebel.

It’s so fascinating to troll comments on subjects like this because I know what I’m going to see before I even begin scrolling through.

I know there are going to be the moms who are outraged at the inappropriateness and other moms who are going to be like—Oh! How cute!

There are going to be those who shout in all caps—HOW DARE GAP DRESS OUR LITTLE GIRLS LIKE STRIPPERS?!

And don’t forget the requisite practical—It’s all just marketing; the head honchos translating grown-up clothes into mini-versions for kids.

So where does the average, level-headed mom fall?
Well, if that mom is me, which I’m not sure she is, I would say what I notice is all my forty-year-old woman baggage coming up.

The first thing that jumped out to me was the owl shirt the shorts are teamed up with along with the tag line—sequins are a hoot!

My mind went immediately to the restaurant Hooters! But, trust me, that’s my mind, not where my daughter’s mind would go.

She would just be like—Oh! Pretty! Sequined shorts and an owl shirt!

And I guess I’d fall into the middle-zone on this. How short are they? With tights they’d probably be cute and fine. But, no, I’m not rushing out to buy these for my daughter, but do I feel there’s some evil plan out there by the Gap executives to over-sexualize my daughter? Nah—probably not.

They’re probably just marketing what they think will sell. And little girls like sequins—not dressing like strippers.

Would you let your daughter wear sequined short-shorts?

Huffington Post Blogging!

I'm happy to announce that I'll be blogging for The Huffington Post!

Check out my blogger page, become a fan, and please post comments on my blog!

Thanks everyone!

More Women Considering Stripping in Down Economy

The Huffington Post UK’s Lucy Sherriff asks how far someone might go to find a job in Student Jobs Over Christmas: From Hamley's Elf To Stripper.

She spoke to two college students who took very different job routes over the holidays—one paying minimum wage as an elf and one paying lots of cold, hard cash for dancing in her skivvies.

Hannah, the 19-year-old student from Sheffield University, who started stripping, is making £400-£500 a night.

Is it any surprise that there are going to be many young women who turn to stripping when faced with this financial dilemma?

The concern becomes when stripping is something that they really don’t feel comfortable with, as Hannah expressed.

"I would hate for anyone to find out as I am quite ashamed - and it would ruin any chance of having a respectable career in the future. But I just can't afford to turn down that much money."

Before strapping on stilettos and pole dancing, women need to consider all the possible risks involved by examining their motivations and morals for the job.

Stripper Millionaires--Not!

The New York Post’s December 11th article by Eric Torbenson and Annie Karni—Shaking that moneymaker for 10 grand a night: Jiggle joint’s millionaire strippers share their naughty $ecrets—is pretty disappointing.


First of all, none of the strippers mentioned are “millionaires” by any means, so they stick that in the title and just perpetuate the myth of the uber-wealthy high-class gentlemen’s club stripper.

One stripper, Tali, explains how she made $10,000 from a guy because she told him her his name. And that he just wanted to talk about his troubled marriage.

But from what I’ve experienced, I kind of question Tali saying, “He wanted to know what I thought from a woman’s point of view.”

The thing is that strip club customers don’t think of strippers as “women” per se. It’s more like strippers represent pretty sounding boards that men want to reflect back what they already think.

I remember men talking about what shrews their wives were, like I’d totally get it because I was a stripper and hence must be really “cool” with men being chauvinistic pigs.

If I ever questioned them on their complaints (yes, I know that ruined my tips, but sometimes you’ve got to speak up, even in a strip club), they looked at me like, oh my god, she’s one of them! (“Them” being real women.)

And second of all, what “naughty secrets”?

Is it really any surprise to non-strip club customers that the strippers who make the most money are the ones who are “flirty and persuasive”? Not the ones who have the nicest bodies?

“It’s actually about having an appealing personality and spending your free time reading up on current events so you can engage men in conversation for hours while they fork over money because they feel a personal connection.”

Umm, yeah.

That’s what the serious customers are there for—the illusion that a pretty girl likes them. Just don’t break the illusion by questioning why their wives should have dinner on the table when they walk in the door—just trust me on that one.

Oh, the Drama of Breasts!

The Orange County Register’s Jo Ashline reports on yet another breastfeeding debacle—Nascar driver bashes public breastfeeding, apologizes.

Nascar driver Kasey Kahne expressed himself through a tweet when he saw a mother breastfeeding in public:

"Just walking through supermarket. See a mom breast feeding little kid. Took second look because I was obviously seeing things. I wasn't! I don't feel like shopping anymore or eating."

His tweet did the obvious—offended many and also found supporters of breastfeeding being gross.

Ashline pointed out my beliefs in beautiful words:

“Many responded by pointing out that NASCAR has a reputation of exploiting breasts in campaign ads, and that female fans of the popular racing circuit often dress in a way that leaves little to the imagination, concluding that it's okay for a woman to flaunt her breasts in front of a man as long as they aren't being used for what they were intended: to feed and nurture a child.”

Kahne took to Twitter once again and tried to clean up his ignorance:

"I understand that my comments regarding breastfeeding posted on Twitter were offensive to some people. For that, I apologize. It was in no way my intention to offend any mother who chooses to breastfeed her child, or, for that matter, anyone who supports breast feeding children. I want to make that clear.

In all honestly, I was surprised by what I saw in a grocery store. I shared that reaction with my fans on Twitter. It obviously wasn't the correct approach, and, after reading your feedback, I now have a better understanding of why my posts upset some of you.

My comments were not directed at the mother's right to breastfeed. They were just a reaction to the location of that choice, and the fashion in which it was executed on that occasion.

I respect the mother's right to feed her child whenever and wherever she pleases."

Hmm…sounds mysteriously like some PR person jumped up and typed up a nice response for Kahne. Smoothed out the wrinkles. Tried to tone down any offense.

This all really makes me want to go out in public somewhere and nurse!

Nursing Mothers Unite!

Perezitos applauds the national nurse-in at Target today thanks to a Texas mother who was asked to move to a fitting room when she was discreetly nursing at a local store.

Michelle Hickman vented on Facebook and a mission was begun. The nursing moms who visited over 100 stores across the country found the Target employees ready (and obviously prepped) for them.

All Target employees were friendly and welcoming, but that comes as no surprise. DO you really think they would risk offending a large market share? Not to mention it’s absolutely legal to nurse in public in 45 states!

What’s the most disturbing thing I’ve seen from the reports is that there were a bunch of people (seems like mostly men) who think nursing in public is gross.

Umm…hello?

These are probably the same men who think hooters on display in every other situation should be applauded. It seems some men want boobs to only be their sexual play things and displayed in ways that appeal to their sensibilities—what a shocker.

The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It)

Good news—my Decision-Making Guide and Self-Discovery Journal that will help women to further value their own identities through their quest to understand their motivations for stripping is now available through Smashwords.


You can view a free sample or purchase an e-book version of The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It) in just about any format you can dream of.

For women interested in developing their own life narratives, they will explore how writing their lives and discovering their selves is all part of an ongoing process. The dots are connected between the bonds of body, beauty, and self with which modern women struggle, so that readers may be able to look to themselves for answers to questions of identity.

The print version will be available through Amazon soon!

Giving Birth in Black and White

IVillage has an incredible photo of a baby being born.


The photo by Lynsey Stone, titled "I Love You Baby!" shows a mother and father birthing the baby and is an entry in the National Geographic Photo Contest 2011.

When I first saw the photo I thought it might be fake. It just looks so staged and the mother seems to be playing the part of a woman in labor as opposed to actually experiencing the birth.

I mean, did she hold the baby in while a stylist made sure there were no signs of sweat on her, no hair out of place, no blood or other birth-related real stuff in the shot?

Is this really beautiful or just another example of how we are letting the world into every aspect of our lives as long as it’s been prettied up?

Stripper Moms Paying the Bills

The Huffington Post’s Emma Gray reports on Phone Sex Moms: In Tough Economic Times, More Mothers Turn To Sex Work.


Well, there are always going to be customers, so it makes sense that moms would get in on the money action.

“ABC News reported that over the last year and a half, as the recession has continued to take a toll on employment opportunities, the number of women who have young children engaging in sex work has risen 400 percent. This figure comes from ratracerebellion.com, an organization dedicated to finding mothers at-home work. The numbers seem a bit shocking, but then again, hasn't sex work always been considered a "recession-proof" occupation?”

There are lots of benefits to working at home for moms obviously, but I would think it might dampen a sexy talk if there was a baby crying in the background, unless of course, there was guy into that somewhere…

I think there are definitely women looking into this kind of work who might not have considered it during a better job market. It’s for that exact reason that I wrote The Pole Position: Is Stripping For You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It), which is soon to be released by Every Day Create.

In these uncertain economic times, one of the job possibilities young women (and even moms!) may be curious about is stripping, even though they may never have imagined themselves taking their clothes off for cash before. THE POLE POSITION answers technical, emotional, financial, and moral questions to reveal the truth behind the fiction.

•Are high-end Gentlemen’s Clubs in the city as glamorous as I’ve heard?

• Will my local dive-club be dangerous and demeaning?

• Will I be expected to perform “extras” for the managers?

• Is leaving the stripping world as difficult as some say?

• Am I prepared for the difficulties involved?

• How do I really feel about stripping?

THE POLE POSITION: Is Stripping for You? (And How to Stay Healthy Doing It) is a Decision-Making Guide and Self-Discovery Journal that will help women to further value their own identities through their quest to understand their motivations for stripping. For women interested in developing their own life narratives, they will explore how writing their lives and discovering their selves is all part of an ongoing process. The dots are connected between the bonds of body, beauty, and self with which all modern women struggle, so that readers may be able to look to themselves for answers to questions of identity.

Each of the 9 chapters is followed by ten questions for review with space to journal answers, which will help women explore their motivations, strengths, and possible weaknesses for survival in the business.

I wonder what other moms’ opinions are about this. How would you feel if you found out your mom friend was making money talking dirty late at night? Or even stripping?

Children in the News

When I see a story like this one on Yahoo, it just makes my mind wobble in shock.

A school has been accused of putting a 9-year-old autistic student in a duffel-like bag as punishment for acting out. The drawstring was pulled tight, alleges his mother, who came upon the scene when she was called to the school.

“At a meeting with school district officials, the bag was described as a "therapy bag," Baker said, though she wasn't clear exactly what that meant. She said her son would sometimes be asked to roll over a bag filled with balls as a form of therapy, but she didn't know her son was being placed in the bag. She said school officials told her it was not the first time they had put him in the bag.”

How could anyone, especially educators, ever put a child into a bag?

This has eerie similarities to the story yesterday about a Chicago father who posted a photo on Facebook of his daughter bound and gagged with duct tape.

Trust me, I know when a child misbehaves there’s a great urge to make them stop. And I’ve been on the edge of sanity sometimes and not known what to do. But help me here, there aren’t really people who think any of this is an okay practice, are there?

I think we’d all agree on the duct tape being so wrong that it’s even frightening to look at the photo. But a school that places autistic children in bags? This can’t be an acceptable practice in anyone’s mind.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little...What?!

The Telegraph is reporting that kids have been banned from making a “star” sign with their hands while singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star because the gesture resembles sign language for vagina and they don’t want anyone to be offended.


One mom said: "It seems a little politically correct. These are innocent little children just making a sign to show a star. No-one would give it a second thought. Now every parent may worry their child may be making an offensive gesture when they're singing this song."

Okay, my big question…why is the word vagina “an offensive gesture”? It’s just a vagina. It’s a body part.

If a sign language user actually saw these kids making little star-like shapes with their hands that in some way resembled the sign for vagina, I think they might think it was kind of cute and funny, but offensive? Hardly.

My daughter at brunch with friends a few weeks ago was showing that she had a kitty scratch on her middle finger. Were my friends offended? No. Amused at her innocence? Yes.

Moving on…